I was in a relationship for eighteen years, one day she ended it by having me thrown out. She never talked to me again and now we are divorced. I do not know know what to do with myself, I miss her and the kids. I heard she she was having an affair and has since moved on with the guy. She does anything she can to keep me from seeing the kids. They would rather be with the other guy as well. I think I am going to move out of state and disappear....
2007-07-11 05:57:58 · 20 answers · asked by AzNative89 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sad to say,but u just got completey removed from ur family. maybe its just better to cut your losses and move on to bigger and better things. as for the kids well thats tough and she has turned them against you.one day when their older they'll see the truth about her and come looking for you.
2007-07-11 06:03:44 · answer #1 · answered by pandorar12007 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
She "had [you] thrown out"???? By whom, exactly? You talk like you had no idea your marriage was on the rocks; that it was a total surprise. If that's the case she's either just evil or you were clueless that she was not a happy wife, which reflects badly on you.
You went through the divorce process....what were the grounds of the divorce? You didn't have a chance to hear what she was saying about WHY she wanted out? I don't buy your seeming ignorance about the situation.
As for your kids, she can do whatever she wants to "TRY" and keep you away from the kids, but you should have at the very least shared custody. Oh, don't tell me that she got custody and you only get weekends...wonder how that happened without you arguing for shared custody....
Anyway, she can try, but if you have shared custody (please, God) or at the very least court ordered visitation, then she CANNOT keep you from seeing your kids. If they would rather be with someone else, then something must be lacking in YOU, jack. If you want to be a dad and want them to like being with you, then you better go figure out what that is, and deal with it ASAP.
2007-07-11 13:06:41 · answer #2 · answered by lady_phoenix39 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well she can't take the kids away from you if you haven't done anything wrong. So I would take her to court on that. But try to find friends to hang out with. You don't want to disappear and be lonely for the rest of your life that would be miserable. Life is too short for that. Try to start something new to get your mind off of the situation once you gain joint custody of the kids. Maybe once that has been settled you can start a new life. I hope this helps and I'm sorry for what's happened.
2007-07-11 13:21:30 · answer #3 · answered by Kaila H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget about her but not the kids. Get your life and your head straight and be the best possible man you can for you and your kids, even if you can't see them right now. Be kind to people, get your finances in order, get into therapy if you need to, take care of yourself. Then, if you want to see those children, you fight for them. You have rights and you exercise those rights. So many men let these women use children as pawns to control their ex husbands. I've seen the devastation first hand. Get yourself straight, and then fight to have a relationship with those kids. In the meantime, do whatever you can to assure them that you still love them, no matter the state of your relationship with their mother.
Good luck, don't be too hard on yourself.
2007-07-11 13:08:45 · answer #4 · answered by Emmy F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I assume that visitation rights were given to you in the divorce decree? If your ex is not abiding by the visitation that was ordered to you, you can petition the court to force her to let you see your kids. You don't have to have an attorney to do this (though, it would be better if you did). Just go down to the courthouse and talk to the clerk - he/she will give you the appropriate forms to fill out. However, if your children are old enough (you don't say how old they are), you may not be able to force them to see you if they don't want to.
I'm wondering what you have done/said to your children if in fact they really don't want to see you. Perhaps you should evaluate your actions and take a hard look at yourself and see if you can determine why it is that they don't want to see you. Are they justified in this? If so, you need to make amends and change your ways - but, running away from the situation is not going to make it any better. If you love them, you will tell them so and apologize for whatever it is you did that made them not want to see you. Also, you should stop the behavior that made them not want to see you anymore - whatever that is. Life will get better - you just have to learn from your mistakes and stop engaging in behavior that causes people to not want to be around you. I hope that you will soon reestablish your relationship with your children. Good luck.
2007-07-11 13:06:53 · answer #5 · answered by Be me 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am terribly sorry to hear that. You are going to have to consult a lawyer about shared custondy at this point. Be calm and show how good of a father you are. I know it will be hard and difficult with seeing reminders everyday around you of your ex, but dont let it devistate your relationship with your kids. Be strong and talk to a lawyer about shared custody. If you move out of state or disappear, you will be worse off.
Good luck
2007-07-11 13:03:02 · answer #6 · answered by Islander 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless she has a restraining order, there is no reason for you not to see your kids. Fight for custody, it doesn't have to be full custody, perhaps shared.
A father has visitation rights that are upheld by the law. I know you're depressed but they are your kids and the law is on your side.
Your kids may like this other guy, but he will never, ever replace you in their hearts, you are their dad in their mind and heart and if you disappear it will hurt them deeply and profoundly.
2007-07-11 13:06:25 · answer #7 · answered by I'm Here 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fight for your kids, she can't keep them from you without cause. What good is moving going to do. Right now your kids are angry with you, who knows why, but if you leave you are blowing your chances of having a relationship with them.
Who cares if there is another man, that's irrelevant, the only thing that should matter are your children.
2007-07-11 13:05:16 · answer #8 · answered by ofsoundmind 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, unless there's something you're not saying, she has ABSOLUTELY no right to keep you from the kids! and secondly it sounds like you're giving up without a fight! where's your backbone? demand to see your kids and talk with them to let them know that you love them and that no matter what the situation is, you will never leave them. but now if you leave the state, what is that saying? walking away from your responsibilities is not the answer! you need to take control of your life and not let her control it anymore!!!! good luck, sincerely.
2007-07-11 13:06:16 · answer #9 · answered by luv 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aww, that really s**ks, I'm sorry. Don't move out of state, the kids need their dad, they may act like they don't want to see you, but I'm willing to bet they just feel like they are at fault for you leaving. Just let them know that you'll always be there for them and will always listen and not judge. Good luck hon.
2007-07-11 13:04:54 · answer #10 · answered by sweet heart 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop whining.
If you're willing to just go away.. then you're not the man that those kids need.
A real man would continue to be in his children's lives (IF he was worth anything).
IF you are serious (and if you are a good father) then you'd spend the money it takes to get a lawyer and make changes happen.
2007-07-11 15:18:53 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋