im not competing with his wife nor kids, im not even forcing him to leave his family, all i want is a few time with him, thats all, i know that he loves me, hes just sticking up with his wife because of the kids.. am i a homewrecker???
2007-07-11 05:42:15 · 42 answers · asked by confused chick 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That's a good question. The real question is why do you want to spend your time with a man that has made a vow to love, honor and cherish his wife and is obviously failing to do so? The "staying in the marriage for the children" line has been used many times by men that want their cake and eat it too. The best thing that you could do is leave the situation. People in society may consider you to be a homewrecker, but the real homewrecker would be the spouse that is having the affair. However, you are not an innocent party in this by any means. You know that he is married with children and continue to have a sexual relationship with him. This is wrong on so many levels and this will come back to bite you.
2007-07-11 05:54:41 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
The word "homewrecker" is an old one and could be used here. What you are trying to do is wreck his home, cause a divorce, and maybe end up with more than you are expecting. You need to pursue men that aren't married. What you are doing is wrong. How would you feel if you were his wife and another woman was pursuing your husband? I don't think you would like it. What about the kids? I know the husband is at fault, too. Both of you need to think about this. Do you really want to be responsible for causing a divorce? Think about those little kids even if you don't care about the wife.
2007-07-11 05:57:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if you are a home wrecker, although many people would probably say you are. You definitely are an enabler, helping this man cheat on his wife and children. You say you love this man, and you may, but what good is your love. He will spend as much time with you as he can sneak from his family, he may even give you gifts, and tell you how much he thinks of you and loves you. Then he goes home and tells his wife the same thing. Which one of you is he being honest with, or is he being honest with either of you? One of these days his wife will catch the two of you and probably kick him out. He will get a place of his own and continue to use you giving you another story as to why he can not be with you, Probably at the same time he will be looking for another woman so he can have both of you on the hook. I know this is harsh and I am sorry to put it this way, but it is reality. I have seen it happen over and over. Sure there are exceptions and you feel you will be one of those, but give this some serious thought - the odds are against you.
2007-07-11 06:29:17 · answer #3 · answered by K K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I haven't found an official term for "homewrecker" in any dictionary yet. You haven't said whether the wife knows or not, I'm going to assume she does.
You would be a confusing, contributing factor to wrecking a family, but not the only cause, it's him too. You said he loves you, love is not selfish or deceptive, you want time, it's lust, girlfriend.
Then there's an ick factor here: Would you loan your friend your toothbrush for a few minutes? Your panties for a night? Your sex toys for a romp? That's what you're basically borrowing, sloppy seconds? Finally, the compass: If it were your mother-father-another woman or your husband, you and another woman, would it be cool to you? Food for thought.
2007-07-11 06:08:56 · answer #4 · answered by Yankee Micmac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any person who disrupts a family unit can be considered a 'home wrecker.' That's what the term means. By taking him away from his family, even for a short time, you are in effect 'breaking' that family unit. Do you know how many cheaters say.."My wife/husband doesn't understand me.." when in reality, they are simply looking for something on the side? It's the oldest 'excuse' in the book. Sticking with her because of the kids? Not in today's world...that's called 'a cop out of an excuse.' How would you feel to discover that he is also cheating on you with another woman, that's why he only has little time with you? Would that upset you? To know he isn't faithful..even to you? Think about it...
2007-07-11 05:50:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
well that is a homewrecker to me, I know that you are not the only one that should feel ashamed, he should too.
I have been in some sort of situation like yours but I hang out with his wife and kids too, they are my friends but the husband has said if things were different we might have hit it off, however, you need to go to a bar or a club and find yourself a single guy, there are plenty out there right now.
2007-07-11 06:40:37 · answer #6 · answered by The Coug 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you are and so is he, unfortunately he's wanting you because he cant have you, once he has you he'll do the same thing to you that he is doing now with her. WALK AWAY and find someone without a family. He's a loser, a cheat, and worthless, if he was serious about leaving his wife, he would've gotten separated already and in the process of divorce, not giving you false hope and fake promises. So basically, he's not leaving his wife. how would you feel if the man you married and gave children too, cheated on you with some girl, and left you for her? LEAVE HIM ALONE AND TELL HIS WIFE OR SOMEONE WILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-07-11 05:48:16 · answer #7 · answered by You asked 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
OK this is my opinion on the subject. I think that if this man was not involved with her it would be someone else. He is the type that would do it no matter what so don't think your special that you are the only one that he has done this with or the last one. If a man really loves you in a serious way he would leave his wife and family to join you. I will assume that the wife has no idea about you yet. But when she finds out about you he is going to dump you like trash. you will be left out in the cold and his life will continue with out you. wise up and you are setting yourself to fail. Work on you and find out why you have such low self esteem and find your own man.
2007-07-11 06:21:38 · answer #8 · answered by Angela 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i was in the same situation as u are in, so i completely understand where u are coming from. My opinion is to leave him alone, and i know that is not what u want to here but it is the truth. it is not worth loving this man when in fact he is never going to leave his family, they say they are when really there not. i know it hurts when he does not spend enough time with u or he looks at u like the relationship is going to be okay. in this situation u have to be strong and put ur foot down. So r u a home wrecker no, u just made a bad choice, and thats all.
2007-07-11 06:21:47 · answer #9 · answered by jada 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try asking his wife that question and see what kind of response you get. Of course you are a homewrecker. I certainly wouldn't want to be responsible for taking a daddy away from time with his kids. As far as wanting a little bit of his time, WAKE UP!!! He's married and a father, he has no obligation to spend time with you. He wants to get laid...
2007-07-11 06:16:14 · answer #10 · answered by Jen M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋