Hi! Before starting i'd should say that i'm french so excuse me for my bad english. So here I go: 3 years ago I was just that stupid teenager who couldn't get a girlfriend and who hoped every night in bed before sleeping that he would find someone to love him soon. And then I met my girlfriend. She became the most important person of my life, I could do anything just to be able to spend 2 mins with her. I made her mine and I became her's. 2 yrs passed by. Love was not what I thought it was... We suffered a lot, both of us and I learned a lot. Now 1 yr ago, I began to look at girls on the street. I tried to stop but I guess I just didn't want to. I just didn't want to be the person she wanted me to be anymore. Yesterday for the 1st time in 3 yrs I took another girl's number... I don't want to hurt her...then again I guess im already doing so. Im not a bad person, i just don't know what to think... What's happening? Have I stopped loving her? Or im I just another jerk?
2007-07-11 04:37:07 · 18 answers · asked by Bysdntcry 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Thanks for this question. I can see that this is a traumatic event in your life. What's going to happen here is that your lady friend will find out what you are doing and Work You Over REAL BAD.
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2007-07-11 04:50:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your English is fine. It's my French que c'est mal.
Et vien, Non, you're not a jerk. What you are is young. You don't say how old you are - but considering that you were a desperate teenager only 3 years ago - you're still young. You have a lot to learn about love.
Love may be kind, gentle, etc. but it isn't easy and it's never perfect. If you want to hear God laugh - tell him your plans.
Since there have been difficulties between you two, perhaps it would be better if you broke off with her. Do this as gently as possible (which may or may not be possible - but be as gentle as you can).
Be honest. You've been trying to be the person she wanted you to be for 2 years. Now part of that person is partly you - but the bulk of this "mythical man" is pure fantasy. No wonder love didn't work out the way you expected it to - you lived a lie. Lies never work out.
This won't be easy, mon ami, but break up with her before entering the dating scene again. And even then, be sure to wait a few weeks before going out again.
2007-07-11 11:49:26 · answer #2 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah somethin must have happened to you that made u stop feeling the same way about her when u first met.
You seriously need to talk to her and find out if she still likes you (like before) or does it seem to her that she also has lost some interest in you.
If you both think you need to see other people then you can break up with her without hurting her feelings and just be friends.
However, if she still likes you and you kinda dont then be honest with her, even if it hurts her feelings cause you dont wanna have a "fake" relationship.
But if you wanna make this relationship work then u gotta be true to yourself and her; spend more time with her and just stop looking at other girls!
2007-07-11 11:52:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
#1 You've only stepped over the Jerk line if you have cheated on her...
#2 If you are loyal, you will be with her and only her, if you are taking other girls #s, ok but are you commited to the girl you are with, because if you are, youd better stop it before she gets hurt...
#3 Your growing up, times change, people change, you will meet many women in life, un-avoidable.
#4 The hardest thing to find in any relationship, is someone who will be LOYAL to you, if that girl is LOYAL it doesnt matter how many other babes there are, shes a KEEPER.
#5 If you already took another girls #, either you made a mistake, or you don't actually love the girl you are with, because you've considered seeing other people...
#6 Don't play games with her heart. Decide and decide today and this hour, if you will stick with her, or tell her you want to see other people...
If you fck around, you will only stab her heart.
On a side note, there is nothing wrong with wanting to see other people. JUST DONT CHEAT.
Before you get married (if you even want to) you will need to meet different people, find a good mate...
But remember, in this day and age, you cant beat LOYAL.
2007-07-11 11:44:11 · answer #4 · answered by Danlow 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
In any relationship, honesty and communication are the most important things. It sounds like you don't have much of either. I don't think you are a jerk at all...you would be a jerk if you ignore the problem and start cheating. Taking someone's number is a sure sign that the relationship is not giving you what you need. Talk to her...she may very likely feel the same way. And last, you can't be the person she wants you to be. If your relationship is going to work, she has to accept you and love who you are, not who she wants you to be. You deserve to be yourself, not always trying to live up to her expectations.
Good luck!
2007-07-11 11:49:48 · answer #5 · answered by answergirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not a jerk. People grow and mature everyday. You 2 just grew apart!!!! You will never stop loving her but you don't love her like you use to. There is nothing wrong with that!!!! You can't make yourself love someone!!!!! You 2 need to talk and figure out if it's better to just break up before you do somethin stupid with that other girl and hurt your girlfriend even more!!!! Good luck!
2007-07-11 11:58:45 · answer #6 · answered by ambrosiasninja 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you start to go out with other girls while you are still with your girlfriend, you will for sure hurt her.
You're not a jerk, you're just a guy who is unsure if he's with the right person.
You need to ask yourself if this girl is really "the one." Do you want to make it work with her? If you have doubts, then maybe it's time to move on.
2007-07-11 11:40:44 · answer #7 · answered by T the D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sharing your thoughts on how you feel is probably going to help if you sit down and have a talk with your girlfriend. Tell her how you feel and you too do some soul searching. Ask yourself is that what you really want or has the love died? Do it deligently and objectively. If she's what you really want and you're what she really wants then you both fight to keep it alive or retrieve what you think is missing.
2007-07-11 11:49:35 · answer #8 · answered by elva f 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are just looking for a reason to leave. You are just not interested anymore. You guys are not working out. You should end it whenever you can. The longer you keep going the more one of you guys will get hurt. Someone always get hurt. Good luck.
2007-07-11 11:41:11 · answer #9 · answered by Jamezy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be your starting to lose feelings for her but no offense though what you did was sort of hurtful. She shouldn't mind you looking at other attractive girls but asking for their number is a whole diffrent level. I think the best way now is honestly talking about this issue with her.
2007-07-11 11:42:27 · answer #10 · answered by dee b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm impressed with your English, if you want bad you should hear my attempt at French. Maybe the relationship has just run its course and it's time to break up. If you don't want to hurt her, you should end it before you start a different relationship.
2007-07-11 11:42:26 · answer #11 · answered by Brandy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋