wife wants to act on fantasy?

Question

My wife and I have a great marriage and really open communication. About a month ago she confessed a fantasy about being with another woman. We have talked a lot about it, watched some girl on girl movies and had fun with the whole fantasy. Last night she asked me if it would be okay for the two of us to chat online with another woman and see how things go...her way of taking the fantasy to the next level. I still feel okay with the whole thing. I'm just wondering what everyone else advice would be in my situation?

Answer 1

i think it might eventually place too much stress on your marriage. I know it would on mine. But if you feel it wouldn't, and you think that both of you can handle it.....then sit down and talk seriously about it. Its said that swingers have happier marriages, so i'm in no place to judge your happiness level. It all depends on you guys.

Answer 2

Well...it's harmless woman with woman, but what next after that?
Will you want to join in, therefore touching this woman and enjoying her body in some ways? Because that might upset your wife.
So this would be something that just she would enjoy, not you, except to watch or touch your wife only.
And if you let her do this, are you going to ask for a fantasy too? What if you have an interest in another guy? (thereoretically) Would she let you do that?
Most men fantasize about touching two women at once. Would she agree to that? Maybe, but maybe not!
I'm not for bringing other people into the bedroom simply because I think that at some point, somebody's feelings get hurt. I think fantasies should stay just that...fantasies forever. The risk is perhaps too great. The reason I think that is, once that fantasy is played out, how are the two of you going to top it? I think there's this escalation of fulfilling fantasies...always wanting to top what was done last. Now what..swinging? See...that's where the danger warnings come in.

Answer 3

this same scenario happened to my new boyfriend with his ex. He went along with it, did the swinger thing, etc. but it was only a matter of time before she started excluding him and now she's a full time lesbian. I'd suggest that you go to counseling. She may have a need that you cannot fulfill. Plus, using a third person as your sex toy in a threesome for her is not all that respectful. Sometimes a fantasy is great because it is a fantasy. Good luck to you.

Answer 4

go ahead and chat.. nothing wrong with that. i suppose that the thing you should watch out for if you decide to go further is to make sure no one falls in love.. keep being friends, but cut it off if someone seems to be falling in love.. you probably wont be the center of attention either, should it go that far..at least not all the time..but you will have fun participating, watching and so on.... also, practice safe sex, use birth control... finally, i really love the well thought out negative answers that some have given here like: ewww.... youre playing with fire, and i have a friend that....shows the experience level...ignore that crap.

Answer 5

It sounds as if your wife is wanting to explore and extend her sex life via fantasy role playing ect. She may see this as a new way to get stimulated. It sounds to me like you have a strong relationship and that you communicate regularly. I think that it is good that she is including you in her fantasies and is not doing this secretly. However, including you may be her way of getting "permission" to have some lesbian tendencies. I would be wary if she begins to suggest meeting the online woman in person. It is easy to get obsessive/compulsive with the internet and all the vast worlds that are offered to the public. I would continue to keep an open line of communication with your wife. If your instincts give you an "uh oh" feeling, you are probably correct in your thinking. Then again, your wife is exploring her sexual feelings and is trying to add some more excitement or variation to her sexual experiences. I would not feel threatened by this. As I said before, she is including you in this, so that is a good sign.

Answer 6

Speaking from personal experience bringing another person into your marital bed is not a good idea. I was married for over 10 years before we opened our marriage. In doing so it led to the demise of our marriage. You may have the best marriage and believe that your marriage is strong but there is no way to predict how things will turn out for you by allowing another to join you and your wife. Please be aware of all the cons before deciding to do this. Looking back I wished my ex and I didn't do it. Best of luck.

Answer 7

The open communication is great, makes things better in the relationship. As for the fantasy, its all on you. If she wants to take it to the acting it out level, and you are OK with it, then go ahead. It'll make her really happy and make you happy. If you are in to the whole girl on girl, ask her if you can participate...not physically involved (unless shes OK with it), just to be there and watch. It'll spice up the bedroom. Sometime women need to just get it out of their system.

Good luck!

Answer 8

It might sound like a lot of fun, but in most cases, it ends up ruining the relationship. Either you will end up wanting to be with the other woman, or your wife will. It also leads to more and more "cheating" with others, and will make it hard to have sex just alone with the two of you. What if she decided to try it with another man along, rather than a woman -- would you do that too?

Answer 9

i've got been in a matching project with somewhat a twist. My spouse and that i attempted the open marriage scene and that i allowed her to have extra advantageous marrital affairs, yet I knew the human beings and gave my approval. we've been married for 31 years and are nevertheless at the same time, although we've form of fallen out of the swinging/swapping scene that became into so generic in the late Nineteen Sixties and early Nineteen Seventies, in spite of the actuality that this is nevertheless practiced. i became into additionally allowed to have affairs if i needed, in spite of the actuality that i did no longer rather pursue the guilt-loose bypass. like the single person reported, you ought to be sure you're good on your relationship, and your husband ought to easily have a say so in the guy you savour your self with. this does not advise your marriage is headed for the rocks or off the cliff. yet common is common and he ought to fulfill one in each and every of your fantasies besides to even the scorecard.

Answer 10

Things could work out, but usually they don't. I say you're setting yourself up for disaster if you go through with this. Besides, sex is a beautiful thing, meant only for married couples. And in the end, if you do this, there will always be jealousy on one or more parts. What if the girl you choose decides she wants either you or your wife all to herself, then tries to break you up?