is it any normal?

Question

im 21, open to changes yet tight with my principles in life. love being with people age ranging 40-60s. can cope up with younger ones of whatever age and many types of personalities. but at my most comfort with old folks til they start being awkward and think younger ones will never have the same wisdom like they do.

i dont mean being in a relationship with old guys/ women but being home with them--going out with them chatting on the phone or anywhere else, tea party, insurances, retirement, funerals, whatsoever

Answer 1

Sounds healthy to me...instead of being comfortable with the selfish often stupid desires of youth, you seek wisdom and experience! As long as you can deal with people your own age without any major problems, you're certainly looking in the right place if you want to understand life and develop true wisdom. No, not all older people have wisdom, but 99.9% of them have more wisdom than the average 20 year old!

As for them thinking that younger ones won't have the same wisdom, they are absolutely correct! Wisdom is shaped by experiences and the experiences you have had in the last 21 and will have in the next 20-40 years will NOT result in the same wisdom a 40-60 year old person has now! My father, for example, was raised by parents that survived the great depression, he heard about WWII first hand on the radio (and his dad fought in that war), and he was in his 20s during the 60s...all these things affected him. You on the other hand, weren't even alive during Vietnam, have always known computers and had color TV showing full coverage of wars and other violent events in your living room, and were just a teenager when the World Trade Center collapsed...those experiences will lead to a different type of wisdom when you're older. My dad grew up hearing stories about kids in faraway places that were starving (used by his mom to make him clean his plate at dinner)...you grew up actually seeing it on TV!!!

Frankly, I admire you for seeking and accepting the wisdom of older people...I teach college and most the 21 year olds I know still think "old folks" don't understand their problems and don't know anything about "real life"! You're way ahead of your peers on this one!

...and hey, I object to you calling 40 "old"...I'm in my 40s but I'm not old *smile*! Of course, at 21, I did think 40 was ancient so I understand.

Answer 2

This is in fact normal.

I have known several very successful relationships, where one partner has experience, and good earning, the other is energetic, enthusiastic.

I have also seen unsuccessful at all ages.
There are people who seem to think it is Ok if they are bested (lose an arguement, lose a game of chess etc.) to a person of their own age, own gender, same race religion enthicity etc. but have a serious personality disorder if same thing with someone who is different in any way.

I have seen school kids who get along with others of their own class grade, but act like those only one year one grade away are alien enemies.

The only difference between adults who are young and adults who are old are our life experiences and education accumulated. Many times in the work place where we say we have 3 years doing this or 5 years doing that, it is not 3-5 different years, but doing the same old thing day after day.

Where I have had difficulties relating to other people are many and varied.

* Some elderly relatives (women) from an era where the woman stayed home and kept house for a breadwinner who was able to feed a family on his income, and the relationship was a happy one ... well those women never had experience in challenges of an independent work life & are out of touch with so much stuff & have an insular attitude on so many topics.

* Some people, of all ages, who seem to delight in making trouble, in the work place, in academia, in volunteer organizations. They are not interested in "playing the game" of trying to achieve the goals of the organization in an efficient manner, but in finding all the places they can throw monkey wrenches into the machinery of the organizations, whith they then proceed to do.

* Some people in denial about how the world is changing, and we need to deal with those changes. We have a bloated government ... the FBI is like 10 times bigger than IBM & many other government agencies like that ... bigger than the biggest corporations, do not upgrade how they function but once in 20 years. It is truely amazing that government functions as well as it does. This is an example of a topic that many people not want to talk about how can we make government live up to the promise of serving the people efficiently?

Answer 3

I don't think it is abnormal. I always felt more comfortable mingling with the older people than a lot my own age. I found that I was more mature than some of my colleagues (I didn't say better) I just was never comfortable screeching around in a car screaming out windows, or drinking till I passed out in the street.
I was the youngest in the family by 19years and find that that is also part of the reason for me being able to associate better with older people. I grew up amongst adults.
I find/found their stories interesting, their humor funny, and their knowledge and life stories fascinating. I can talk to a 90 year old woman at the mall and enjoy it.
At 16 I volunteered to visit old people at the hospitals and homes. I am 28 now and still enjoy the company of older people. I find that most of my friends that are my age fall into the same category of maturity and ability to enjoy the older generation as well.

Answer 4

I think what gives lots of younger people fits is trying to separate the warmth and strength of older people from their annoying habit of thinking they are wiser than young people, or that such wisdom is a contributing factor to their comforting presence. Good luck separating the two, cause they are flip sides of the same coin.

I think if you are around twenty and find people around parental age for you comforting in the way you describe, then it is simply what it would appear to be - you like people of parental age to you. Probably means you have some unfinished business with parents. Not unusual - but on the other hand, I wouldn't go way far down that road cause at your age peers are where your future really lies. Right or wrong, you are too old to be adopted by loving parents anymore and if you get stuck trying, then twenty years from now you will be "some mental health label" of person who got stuck trying that. Time to move on.

Answer 5

La Missa, there is only one being like you on this entire planet of over 6 billion other beings. That makes you normal, simply because there is truly no one else on the globe that can be used to compare you to.
Old people do often have wisdom usually gained from stuffing up and getting up again. Maybe you lack a little of that rock in your family and friends and you naturally seek your share from other older people around you. Who wouldn't? I know I would too. Good on you. You are resourceful and self-aware. When you are old eventually, I reckon that younger people will seek your empirical knowledge. x

Answer 6

Likely that you prefer the attitude, conversation and general atmosphere of people who are of that age group, because your own personality and ideals match. The environment and background of yourself and those you have an affinity with may be very similar. Age is no indicator of maturity, as an example a 20yo college student in China is very socially naive by our western standards. Their view of life and the world can be very simplistic and based on limited experience or exposure to alternatives. Their taste in music, entartainment, ranges from what we would call 'Olden Moldies' movie themes and cutesy Cantopop, to boring repetitive pc games. On the other hand there are other aspects of their lives which are far more mature than many 40yo I have met in the west.

Answer 7

You might be searching for validation, a father/mother figure. Trying to compensate for a strained relationship or an absent one.

Explore it and learn from it while drawing a line beyond where it might get uncomfortable for you and others.

Understand it and yourself before allowing a liking to become a lifestyle choice.

Good luck

Answer 8

im 17 and am intrieged (cant spell that word..) with older people,too. they are so fascinating. all the stories they have and the memories. they lived in times we didnt and can tell us amazing things. but also, you dont feel like you have to show off for them and there is no sexual tension becuase you are there for the conversation, not to get in there pants (no offense). so i think it makes complete sence, really. i love hanging with my grandparents and there freinds. ha, even my greatgrandpa cuz hes still alive, crazy old cook. gotta love him though :) he has some crazy stories

Answer 9

I'm almost 24 and get along well with that age group too. I draw the line at dating them, though. I've met other people like that too.

Answer 10

Yeah, it's normal. I'm 15 and other teenagers annoy the hell out of me, but I'm used to 50-year-olds. Hahaha.