Will things get better over time now that we talked?

Question

My husband and i had a huge fight last week about how we both were not happy in our marriage. He was not happy with my attitude towards him. And was not happy with him being too busy to give me any attention. For a whole year we held these feelings in hopeing that things on their own would change. But it came out a last week during an argument. We were upset and crying. And were talking about divorce. But since we both still love each other, we decided to work it out. My husband said that he feels releaved and happy now that he has let that out into the open. Things are different now. We dont argue anymore, we are much nicer to each other. But now, we hardly speak to each other. We still tell each other that we love each other when we say bye and good night. Last night he gave me a quick kiss good night. And this morning a quick peck bye. Last night he came up to me and held my face to kiss me. It was nice. We laughed and were playful after that. Will things get better?

Answer 1

Yes. If you can keep the communication up. A big blow out like that just can't be forgotten sometimes and can make things a little awkward. He is feeling bad for what has happened as I am sure you are.
Talk all the time. It is better to get it all out on the table at the time then to let it fester and then throw it all out at once.
Love is the key and as long as you are feeling the love when you say it is what matters.
No one ever said marriage was easy, but there are definitely steps you can take to make it easier. He knows where you stand and you know where he stands, now work to make it work.
Best of luck in your love and marriage.

Answer 2

It sounds like things already are better. Talking always helps. Just don't hold it in like you both have done, or as you can see it will explode and come out all at once. When you are arguing, you sometimes say things that you don't mean that hurt each other. Now that you all have talked and explained your feelings, it may seem like there is nothing to talk about and you aren't speaking to each other as much as you used to> ever think maybe all you had to do was argue and fight before. Try to take a hobby up that you both will enjoy. Doing things together will give you things to talk about with each other. Good luck to the both of you. And remember love will keep you together and what is meant to be will be.

Answer 3

You love eachother, you're going through a rough patch. Yes things will get better, if you continue to keep the lines of communication open. Your response to him, in the past meaning ur attitude, were a direct result of him not spending time with you and paying attention to you! You two have talked about the issues... ur both feelin a bit open now but thats natural. You just need to reassure eachother that you want to be together and keep talking and kissing and holding each other. He does want to be with you, and he is trying to show you affection, you need to show him affection right back and tell him how glad you are that things are working out. Make time to rebuild your marriage.

I'm so happy to hear that you two choose to work it out. Too many people think that the only resolution is to seperate. Exhaust EVERY possibility, and really try to make it work and if it still doesnt work... through personal attempts and therapy then maybe divorce is the only option. But right now, to me, divorce doesnt even sound like an option. Keep at it. Keep trying.

Sending hugs!

Answer 4

It will as long as you both remember that you both have needs and they are not the same as you are a woman and he is a man. Men want to feel respected - remember when you first dated him - how you look at him with admiration and complimented him as often as possible about his looks, his abilities, etc.???? He still needs that. Women want to feel loved and for them that means spending time communicating with their man with no distractions - like the TV needs to be off and no newspaper in his hand. You want to know that he is interested in you and your day and need the emotional support. When both spouses can do that for each other, things go a lot more smoothly. Normally, what happens though, is very common. The man feels disrespected so he doesn't treat his wife lovingly; the wife doesn't feel loved so she starts treating her husband with disrespect (ex: Nagging and finding fault with everything he does) and then he responds with being unloving - ignoring you, finding fault with you, leaving the house to get away from you, etc. . . .

Sounds like you two are/were a classic example of the vicious cycle that a lot of marriages get into. The plus is, it sounds like you two have figured it out and are now working toward fulfilling each other's needs. Don't give up - keep telling him how grateful you are that he works hard and thank him for all the things he does for you and let him know occasionally that his biceps turn you on and he is your white knight. He needs that and feels respected then.

Answer 5

Things will get better if you both continue to keep the communication open and honest.

Sounds like he's giving you some attention...and you have a better attitude toward him.

It takes time for the air to clear after a bad arguement because that's when the painful truth comes out.

I'm happy that you all got things off of your chest....

now it's time to do what you said you would do...be better to each other.

Answer 6

Things will get better if you you learned your lesson. The clue to the lesson to be learned lies within this sentence you wrote: "For a whole year we held these feelings in hopeing that things on their own would change."

The lesson? Don't hold in your feelings! Express your feelings when you have them. If you express them one at a time, lovingly but clearly, it's like taking life in bite-sized chunks. If you hold in your feelings, eventually they erupt in a giant argument in which the d-word gets thrown around. The latter is not healthy. Learning this lesson is part of why you always hear people say that communication is so important in marriage. A very important aspect of communicating well is letting out your feelings a little at a time and not holding them all inside.

Answer 7

It will get better if you start talking to each other. Think of all the things that first had you attracted to each other. Try to thing back to the time when you first started dating and first were married. If you cant work it out by yourselves then maybe go to counseling. It seems that the both of you want to stay married to each other but you need to talk more, but kissing and saying bye and goodnite to each other is a start. Good Luck

Answer 8

Sounds like your lines of communications have started. You both need to be more up front with each other about what you need in the marriage. And as long as you both continue to work at the marriage, it will get better. Try dating again, and try doing little things, that mean alot, like leaving appreciation notes, little gifts, and sharing thoughts and feelings. Marriage is like anything else worth doing, it takes a lot of work.

Answer 9

Yes, things can get better for you. If you are both determined not to revert back to the way things were. If you feel yourselves slipping backwards, act quickly. Stop and tell yourselves "Nope , not going back to acting that way. Things are getting better now". Hopefully now you are on a roll and things will just keep getting better. Keep on telling each other "I love you" and make the small moments together just last a little bit longer than they used to. Good Luck.

Answer 10

Absolutely, All relationships have to communicate. Maybe learn to let him know your feelings before the fight. You have come a long way by at least expressing that the two of you feel neglected. i would say that is the number one reason for affairs and break-ups. Good luck to you honey and STAY HAPPY.