Question for women with children?

Question

I'm not trying to be funny or hateful towards women. And not all women are like this but why do SOME women feel that it's the mans sole responsibility to provide for the children. Shouldnt it be 50/50 since both parents had the child? Also, why do women refer to the child as "your child" (the mans child) or "his child" when they are refering to support? 9 times ot of 10, you'll hear a woman say "he needs to support his child". You should always refer to a child as "OUR CHILD" never his or my child.

Answer 1

I think it is a 50-50 deal. Problem is, we have too many stay at home moms who want to continue that lifestyle after a divorce or break up. Then all of a sudden it's "your" child and your money at stake.

The smartest thing a man can do after he becomes a father is insist the mother start contributing moneywise. Otherwise, the father is totally screwed if the relationship ends. There are lots of part time jobs and work from home careers out there if the childcare issue is a problem at first. By the time the child is of school age, make sure she has her butt back in employment mode full time!

Answer 2

In all reality it should be 50/50 but it is usually not. The parent in which the child lives with on a daily basis ALWAYS ends up paying much more than the parent who has visitation. The "residential" parent has to pay for things such as: a place large enough for the children, enough food for the children, utilities being used by the children, soap, laundry detergent, clothes, all those little "need money" things that pop up at school, school lunches...there are soooo many things that the other parent doesn't even think about. There isn't a man or woman out there that payschild support that is actually paying 50% of what it actually costs to raise a child. I don't know about all women but some of them don't necessarily mean sole responsibility to support the child, just help to make up the difference. Would a new pair of shoes really put you out that much?

As far as referring to the child as "yours" or "mine", this is done simply to emphasize that fact that "you " did in fact help create this child and should take responsibility. Most women will state that the child is "mine" because they are simply angry because they have been paying for everything and raising the child with little or no help from the father. I think it is safe to say that if you did what you were supposed to all along, there wouldn't be the need for someone to get upset enough to "have" to emphasize or remind you that the child is yours.

Answer 3

I know plenty of women who are like that. I agree that it is 50/50. However, the ones I know act like it's ALL up to the father for all the support and any extras like sports and stuff for the kids. I get 168 a month for 3 kids, and to be frank, these are MY kids. I know that might sound bad, but he never sees the kids, and when I say never, I mean that he has seen them for 6 days out of the last 3 and a half years. He doesn't write or call them. I give that child support to them to buy what they want. I take care of the rest. And then I see all these women who complain that 500 a month isn't enough for their one child. And I see all these women who take bad about the father and don't let the kids see their father because the mom has a beef with the dad. It's all sick.

Answer 4

Maybe the man in question isn't upholding his end of parenting, so the mother feels the need to remind hinm that it is his child. In most cases if the parents are still together this isn't an issue, it's when the parents are seperated this because the problem. If the child is living with the mother and she is providing everything that is neede and the father, if he pays support at all is only paying $50.00 a week how is that 50/50?

Answer 5

My kids live with me and I get a child support check. It doesn't cover 100% of all their expenses. I'd say it is right around 50%. Remember, women with children are usually forced to get a place that is bigger than they would ever get by themselves and they can't arbitrarily have six roommates. The kids are their roommates and the lions share of their portion should be covered by the non-custodial because the other portion is covered entirely by the custodial, including daily things like food and activities - not to mention the time put into parenting. Some women are greedy but it really irritates me when men assume "9 out of 10" are. I think to put your mind at rest you could do the math yourself. How much is rent? How much are the utilities? Food? Car payments? Insurance? Then divide all of it by the number of people involved. If its two kids, then three ways. So two thirds of it is the extra expenses incurred by the custodial parent just by being a parent. Shouldn't the father have to cover some of that since he is also a parent? And then you have to consider things like toys and ballet lessons and things specifically for the kids. Then split that 50/50. It really adds up. Women aren't usually spending child support payments on purses and shoes. It is really used for the upkeep of the kids.

Answer 6

In assuming that you're not together and she has the child sometime it's solely meant that you do have a child and you need to support your child i don't think it's like your the only one that needs to support the child because lord knows the saying is true that, " It takes a village to raise a child" meaning it takes more than one person and the both should be responsible.

Answer 7

There is a huge difference between the sexes when ending a relationship when children are involved. If the man is unhappy he has to figure out if he can afford to leave and what will the quality of his life be after. Some women already have the financials figured out before they leave as they know it is almost rest assured they will get the children.

My ex just did not want to be married anymore and left. But where is the responsibility in that decision. She knew she could do what she wanted because she would get our daughter and her money. Guys the large majority of the time to not have this luxury in ending a relationship and it creates a lot of animosity in the system.

Right now my daughter physically sleeps at my house over 50% of the time. My ex receives $135 a week. I have come to terms I am just a paycheck and babysitter to her. But I have my daughter and that is all that matters so why rock the boat and risk that.

Unfortunately right now in a lot of states the system is unfair to men who want to be there and make a difference in thier childrens lives and lets the peices of crap get away with everything.

Answer 8

I agree that it should be 50/50. but I also know that on the average, men have higher wages than women. Some states are different than other about how much the man pays. In some states they take into account the woman's and the man's total wages to determine what the childsupport will be. In other states, it's deals only with the man's wages regardles of the woman's. they might take 20% of the man's. To me that protects the man because the woman has to come up with the rest of what she needs to support herself and the child with no more help from the man. so if she decides she doen't want to work, then she's on her own and can't ask for more. If a man refuses to pay childsupport, that's when you hear "he needs to support his child",

Answer 9

We women carry the child for 9 months then go through hell during birth (it's worth it) and give 90% of the love and care the child recieves through out their life and what does the man do other than the short 2 minuites he spent in helping make the child or the few dollars he s pay in support each month... so yeah it's my child...

Answer 10

It should be 50/50 - and I agree the child should be refereed to as "our" child or simply called by their name. However the women you are referring to are angry - sometimes the man's fault that the situation exists in the first place - not always though. You just need to keep in mind until we ourselves are an angry divorced couple or angry single mother - we will never know the emotions or reasoning as to why they act a certain way.