Men: Would you rather marry a housewife? Women: rather a bread winner?

Question

I want to know what everyone thinks. I know for sure that I would much prefer to have a man who can take care of me while I take care of him in return by maintaining our home, raising our children and caring for his needs.

Men, would you prefer someone to be the counterpart to your efforts? Or would you rather another money earner?

I'm all for women going to work and such if they want, but I do think the old ways seem to be the best ways, and a lot of people agree with me.

Of course in this day and age it's harder and harder for a couple to have these traditional roles. What answer would you give, were money not an issue?

Answer 1

What a lot of really good posts - not one cynic among them. I particulaly liked the men who cared that their wives were happy with their situation. It makes the future of marriage much more hopeful

Answer 2

I personally would rather have someone who will be willing to divide things equally, depending on our desires and our talents. I think in my life it would be better to take care of each other in every way, regardless of how traditional our behavior may seem. We split housework by what we like to do (ie. I like washing dishes and vacuuming because I can veg out and they are calming for me, while he likes to do laundry because he likes how it feels to fold warm laundry while he's watching TV). Since we both want to work, money isn't as much of an issue and we can both focus on the careers that inspire us and that we are successful in.

However, I appreciate the fact that not everyone wants to be so non-traditional, and if there are people who'd prefer to divide the care-taking in more rigid and/or stereotypical ways, I say good for them! There's nothing wrong with gender roles until someone says "This is what a woman must be, and this is what a man must be, and that is that."

That's what life should be about, making our own choices and our own decisions, right? :)

Answer 3

Personally, If I could get to a place t afford it, I would rather be the bread winner and let my (male) partner stay home and take care of the house (and kids, should we decide to have any in the future). He's really good at it, and I'm just not. But I really enjoy a well kept home. I think it would be worth it, and it seems to be what he enjoys and takes pride in.

I certainly wouldn't want it to be the other way around. I like to do some domestic things- cooking, a little baking, etc. But I wouldn't be happy if that was all I had. Plus, staying in the workforce keeps me financially independent, in case anything should happen (my husband leaving me, or becoming injured, or dying early, etc).

Answer 4

I think everyone has different priorities and what one can live without another can't or won't. I have been a working mom and a stay-at-home mom and I must say, I enjoyed both but I truly believe that it is better for my children when I stay home. A lot of people, (my friends and family) think that staying at home is easy and they assume I don't do anything, one of my friends call me "lady of leisure", but I find that staying at home is much harder than going to work full-time because dealing with emotions/mental, etc. issues 24/7 and doing a lot of other things (dishes, laundry, cleaning, appointments, yard work, cooking, etc.) is more draining than going to work where you KNOW what is expected of you and you know you have the option to walk away if things go terribly wrong and you have other adults to talk with. Unless you have predictable children who pretty much listens to you all the time, it is a full-time job to prepare children to be a productive, healthy/happy member of society in the future. And children go through so many different phases that when I was working outside the home, I found myself, sometimes, giving in to what THEY wanted just so I can relax when in reality, I see that it works out much better if I didn't give them 'things' just because they bugged me enough.

I don't know..I'm rambling because I am home now with my 2 teenage kids and 1 teenage (step) kid and it's tough but they need me right now and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Answer 5

My choice of career is a breadwinner career in nature but I chose it because I love medicine not because I feel the need to be an earner or wanted fancy stuff.

My thoughts on the issue are this: I think it is healthy for women to work because it gives a sense of self worth and accomplishment. Some women can get that being a housewife some can't. I will support either decsion because she supports my efforts and long odd hours.

However, regardless of wether or not the mom is at home, I think kids should go to daycare or camps. It helps develop indepenence and confidence. It also cuts down on thier dependance on mom.

Answer 6

I have a Ph.D. and a GREAT job as a college professor...but I would love to have a husband who could afford to support me so I could be a stay-at-home mom. I might want to continue teaching part time, but I could live without all the other requirements of the full-time position (meetings, office hours, research, etc...). If I could show up, teach a class or two, and then go home to care for my son and our home, I'd be perfectly happy!

Of course, single men with six-figure salaries don't exactly grow on trees, so I continue to work full time AND be a full time mom and homemaker. If I have to be a single breadwinning mom, I have the best job in the world...my son hasn't had to spend much time in day care...my job allowed me to hire a part-time nanny and do most of the work from home until he was ready for pre-school...and like my stay-at-home mom, I can always be there when he gets home from school!

Answer 7

I must say it doesn't matter to me as long as she is the right one.

My both of my parents worked almost all day 24/7 (but we still struggled to get by :(). So, my brothers and I had to take care of the house when we were old enough. I currnetly living alone and do alll the cleaning and cooking. I am graduate school now, finishing my masters and possibly getting a PhD.

So it is safe to say, I know my away around house or could have a good career. I will do either one if need be.

Answer 8

I married a man who had ambition and good work ethic. I didn't expect him to take care of me.

My husband is happy he married a woman who also had ambition and wanted to work. He says he can't imagine being married to someone who wanted to be taken care of and stay home all the time.

I think of it this way - something could happen to my husband. If it did, I have an education and a career and could easily take care of myself. I think everyone should be self-reliant. I know several women who stayed home who ended up divorced and did not know how to manage in the world. Going back to the old ways, my grandpa died at age 37 and my grandma had to work at menial labor for little money to raise her 3 kids because she had no job skills. It was not better if you ask her.

Answer 9

I married a breadwinner husband, and I wouldn't have it any other way. He would be ashamed of himself if he pushed me into the workforce - and our babies into daycare - because he wanted more money in the household. He was raised by a single mom and feels strongly that a real man steps up to the plate. His father didn't, and, no surprise here - his kids hate him.

Of course, I was careful to be honest about my desire to be a housewife when we were first dating. It's important that everyone is on the same page. At the time, I was working in a daycare center, and I told my then-boyfriend "I would rather live in a one-bedroom with no car than be be forced to put my baby in a daycare center". He agreed wholeheartedly that it's ideal for someone to stay at home with the kids, and we've been happy together ever since.

Answer 10

I don't mind too much. I would like to marry a woman who stays at home because she can help me out a lot and look after me.

A career woman is okay too, we're better off financially and all but I would be a bit fearful of losing her if our ambitions crossed.

So I guess the answer is a slight preference for housewife merely because I myself am a career man, and I do not wish to lose a marriage thanks to being with a career woman. Not that I wouldn't try to save it, but it will probably be difficult to save in certain situations.

Answer 11

To me the woman whole persona her nature and most importantly her heart is most important.

Hosewife or career woman are secondary to me and not decisive.

In my case though i preferred a housewife but in the end my lady turned out to be a career woman and a feminist as well.
Even more amazing is the fact she is more faimly centric than me at times and more giving as well.

Its really about the essence of the woman her nature and compatibility , what she does is secondary.

And if on top of that if you fall in love , well in that case these two things wont matter , i can tell you that.