my husband is very short tempered &get upset for silly reasons,when quarrels with me he always threatens to eat sweets(he is diabitic). he is very careless about his health.we are trying for child.how to deal with him?i love him so much.
PLEASE GIVE YOUR ADVICE
2007-07-11 03:33:34 · 26 answers · asked by ms 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Diabetes is a long term illness and require observance to a lot of daily routines. People get very insecure about life, health care coverage (or lack of), and their companions leaving them. YOur husband is kind of using "death" to threaten you not to leave. That is the angle you should work on.
2007-07-11 06:22:38 · answer #1 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dear MS,
Your husband needs a thorough check up. He is not behaving like an adult, and I HOPE it is health related. You both need some counseling here to learn how to deal with each other as adults. In the meantime, putting a helpless baby into the mix is NOT a good idea.
If your husband cannot learn to control his temper and negotiate on things that you do not agree on, he is not a good candidate for a long term marriage, much less being good material for a father. This guy has some serious flaws, whether you love him, or not. The question is, can they be fixed? Is he willing to work on these problems and resolve them as an adult? Are you willing to work from your end? You have plenty on your plate without adding a baby right now.
Good luck, sweetie.
2007-07-11 10:43:10 · answer #2 · answered by Peanut 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what your husband needs is a relity check, so when he's not looking. Lets say taking a nap, stick a banana in his pants, soaked in warm honey and place a badger in his pocket! This will get his attention and as the badger is deciding which morsel to gnaw at, you can explain to him, that he needs to change his attitude! Once he decided to take you advice, remove said badger, remove banana. Give the banana to the badger, take badger to humane society.
Repeat the process if your husband continues in his ways.
This is what I call sensitivity training!
But SERIOUSLY!
Your husband has his issues, it sounds like you already have children. Bringing a new kid into this environment may not be the smartest thing to do, you are barely able to handle the one you have. I would seriously think hard about bringing a child into such a disfunctional environment. A bad temper can turn into other things. Violence is only one.
You need calm rational thinking people to raise a child right. A child deserves a good start and a warm and loving family. and that is a good first step. Good Luck and god bless your decision.
Please let me know how it turns out for you
"Now You Know, Because I Said It"
Address
www.ingenio.com/IsaidIt
Phone Number
1-888-INGENIO, extension 02018715
************************************
We are writing a self help book to help people just like yourself.
We are currently accepting donations, if you would like to help further our cause, Donations can be made to
SurfBuySave@comcast.net
Paypal.com
2007-07-11 10:54:08 · answer #3 · answered by Market Magician 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems like you already have a child and you should definitely wait before getting pregnant. He needs to grow up big time. When he does things like that, you probably tell him ; what are you talking about, you know you're not supposed to eat sweets. Next time he tells you that,which is totally childish of him, take a bag of sweets put it in front of him and simply tell him: "here if you want to kill yourself then who am I to stop you" see his reaction. The reason it's working is because you give him the reaction he wants. Let him know that you won't feel guilty anymore for something that's not your fault.
He is blackmailing you emotionally, so stop it right now by calling his bluff...
good luck
2007-07-11 10:41:21 · answer #4 · answered by johanne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men can be such babies!!!
It's been my experience that men just don't like anthing that percieves them as weak (eg: illness, injury or disorder) so often try to 'defy' it by trying to prove its not ruling their life.
It's a silly threat of his because he may be getting at you, but ultimately he is endangering himself!
Does he just threaten?...or does he actually go through with it. If he only threatens then perhaps it's merely a bluff!
I think he is well aware of what he is doing to himself, and you, so it is no use lecturing him...
I would suggest that next time he threatens...simply walk away...don't respond to his threats. Just leave the room. You may find that he won't eat sweets if you are not watching him do it.
Good luck with trying for a child... although it sounds like you married one!
2007-07-11 10:42:10 · answer #5 · answered by familyties 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is holding you to ransom by threatening to eat the sweets, and also getting a reaction and attention out of you by doing so.......... just throw your head in the air and tell him to grow up because it just dosen't wash, men are like kids, show him he is not getting the reaction he is craving and he should soon realise he is not going to get his own way, if he has a problem with his temper then suggest the marrige may not work if he does not get help via anger management or something, he is using his powers over you because he knows you love him........ ignore this behaviour and tell him no you are not having it all you own way.... however long it takes and he will change.....
2007-07-11 10:42:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When he gets upset and starts arguing don't fall into the trap. Let him know that when he is ready to talk about and don't yell you will listen, also if he is threaten to eat sweets when he should not being doing, he is being selfish and not thinking of you. Let him know if he gets ill who do he thinks will be taking care of him. Try to make him see the big picture. Good Luck.
2007-07-11 10:58:03 · answer #7 · answered by Brezzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the mood swings have to do with unstable sugar levels but I'm no doctor. He might be depressed as well diabetics are prone to depression since he is careless with his health. It would be a good idea to go with him to doctor and tell doc about his behaviors it might just mean he needs meds ajusted or maybe counseling. I can tell you love him because of your concern but that doesn't mean you have to be on the recieving end of his temper tantrums.
2007-07-11 10:41:04 · answer #8 · answered by Ami 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You cannot fix him. All you can do is change your reaction. If he threatens to eat sweets...it's his body he is hurting. I would really think twice about having a child at this time. I would give him an ultimatum for counseling.
He sounds a little too immature to have a child at this time.
2007-07-11 11:09:26 · answer #9 · answered by lovin life 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't have a child yet. Fix your problems with him first. I suggest you talk to him. He should go see his doctor and talk about hir temper and using his sickness. Then, seek therapy that would greatly help both of you. After you're all fixed up, then bring a child into the world.
2007-07-11 10:44:49 · answer #10 · answered by Lana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋