i had an abortion, i now cant stop thinking about baby's?

Question

i had an abortion when i was 16 because i didnt think i was ready i was still in college and wanted to finish before i started thinking about having kids. id been with the farther for nearly a year and was in a happy relationship but he was in debt and i only work two days a week when i wasn't in college so we didnt have the money to bring up a kid. i made the chose by myself thinking that it would be easyer as no one could try and change my mind but i was wrong its been four months since i had the abortion and i cant stop thinking about baby's i really want kids and im still with the same guy and he really wants them too. im 17 now and i know its too young to have a baby but it just feel really right with this guy but i didnt know if its because i feel gilty or if its really what i want its driving me mad and i dont know what to do

i was and still am on the pill when i got pregnant and took it every day and still do

where do i say that im nearly out of college i have another year to go and im training to be a hairdresser and it two - three years

Answer 1

it's most likely to be guilt. I am going through the same thing and i had 1 nearly 2 yrs ago. i just wish this feeling would go away, i kno it wont and that the 'replacement' child if i ever have 1 wont make it better. it would be nice to have a baby and i want children in the future, but it is never giong to be the child i killed.

at least you have support from your bf, which is more than i had after i had it done. my bf now, who i now live with is very understanding and i dont know how he does it cos he wasnt there then but the support really does help, at least thas 1 thing youve got.

im 19 now and still feel too young but i really want children. it will be better to get the education/training you want now before you have children because you wont have the money or time to do it later on and wont have an adequate income to support a child.

my partner and i are both on good incomes for our age but there is no way we would be able to support a child now.

keep taking your birth control for now and i hope it gets better for you. time is a great healer but that is exactly what it will take - time. it wont happen overnight and possibly not in the nxt few yrs, but it will get better.

please do yourself a favour like i am doing and dont have a replacement child, it wil more than likely hurt you even more emotionally than this hurts now. iv thougt long and hard about it and decided to wait and i hope you do the same. you have your whole life ahead of you so dont throw it away.

Answer 2

your boyfriend is half the reason ur in that situation, if either of you had any brains, you wouldn't be going through that. ANYWAYS, go talk to an actual adult. Speaking to your school counselor or psychiatrist would be a great start. If your parents are supportive, then that would be an even better option. As bad as it may have been to do what you did, in my opinion, you chose the lesser of two evils so try to tell yourself you did the best thing for yourself and the baby. Make up for it now by not letting that happen again and putting your feelings aside and seek some professional help. There's no shame in trying to improve your situation so don't let anything hold you back from talking to someone who might be able to help.

Answer 3

It may be that you feel guilty. That's how it was in my experience, he may be the right guy but give it time. Prepare yourself before deciding to get pregnant, babies are fun but it's full time job. I felt like a terrible person for a LONG time after I had my abortion. I was with the babies father and that was over 4 years ago. We're still together and I'm pregnant again, we couldn't be happier. Same thing went for us before the abortion, we thought we weren't ready but I know better now it's because we were only thinking of ourselves. I know the feelings of regret but I'm sure in time God will bless you with another child. Good luck, I'll say a little prayer for you =)

Answer 4

16 and in college! Wow, you must really be smart.
Anyhow, to get to your question -- you and your boyfriend just need to go forward. Yes, stay together and have children in the future. I'm sorry, but what's done is done. Moreover, it was a mutual decision by you and your boyfriend, so at least you are not grieving alone. You may always wonder about the baby, and not to minimize your feelings, but you will have babies in the future. Use your birth control faithfully until you are ready. You are still a valuable and loved person, so please just go forward and know inside that there are a lot of people who know just how you feel!

Answer 5

There are a lot of people out there that have had unplanned pregnancies. I'm one of them. It's good that you're talking about it. Maybe you should talk to someone like a counselor. You should definitely use better birth control in the future especially if you're in a relationship with someone.

You're never going to be ready for children... ask anyone... but things do have a way of working themselves out when they're in the picture. I managed to raise my daughter alone and put myself through college just fine.

Answer 6

There are people who can help you. There is an organization called Project Rachel. Google it or look it up in the phonebook. They can help you and your boyfriend work through all these issues.

It's normal and understandable to feel the loss of your aborted baby. That's something the clinics don't deal with very well -- sorry about that. Project Rachel people know how to help you.

Answer 7

IT MOST LIKELY WOULD BE BECAUSE OF GUILT PEOPLE HAVE ABORTIONS AND THINK THEY WILL BE FINE BUT THE RESULTS USUALLY END UP LIKE YOU FEELING REGRET THE ONLY THING THAT YOU CAN DO NOW IS TRY TO FORGIVE YOURSELF AND HELP OTHER GIRLS NOT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE USE YOUR STORY TO HELP OTHER GIRLS NOT HAVE TO FEEL THE SAME WAY

AND ALSO TO THE ONE THAT POSTED ABOVE ME IT IS POSSIBLE I AM 17 AND ALMOST OUT OF COLLEGE

Answer 8

That is something you are going to have live with unfortunately. Its called guilt becaues you regret what you did because you knew it was wrong. Finish school & marry him, then start trying for a baby when you are financially stable.

Answer 9

how can you be out of college you are only 17 years old you can't be almost done with college at that age that's kinda wired

Answer 10

How are you 17 and out of college? Your way too young for all of that! you killed the one you had. Your 17 and not responsible for a kid. Get married before you open your legs and even think about having a baby.. and learn how to spell.