i'm having a bad day today..... thank you
2007-07-11 02:14:46 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Yes, definitely, but only eat them if they are ripe.
Cheer up kiddo! Like anything else, this too will pass.
:o)
2007-07-11 02:19:52 · answer #1 · answered by Sr. Mary Holywater 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
here are some weird thoughts. Think about these.
What's the difference between a novel and a book?
How old are you before it can be said you died of old age?
If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it?
If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way
to the center of the earth?
If you have a cold hot pocket, is it just a pocket?
If humans evolved from monkey's/apes, why are they still
here?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why is the show called unsolved mysteries? if they were
solved they wouldn't be mysteries.
Do penguins have knees?
Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on?
How come people tell you not to stand in front of an emergency exit when if there was an emergency surely you would run through it?
Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway?
In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction
section?
Why are both of Spongebob's parents round like sea
sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge?
Does a two-humped camel store more water than a
one-humped camel?
If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk?
Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you,
but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting you?
Why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
If you only have one eye...are you blinking or winking?
Have Fun! (:
2007-07-11 09:42:18 · answer #2 · answered by xoKerryKinzz23 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Here are some actual newspaper headlines, have a good day.
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
Farmer Bill Dies in House
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
Stud Tires Out
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
Eye Drops off Shelf
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in `84
War Dims Hope for Peace
If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
Deer Kill 17,000
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
Air Head Fired
Steals Clock, Faces Time
Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff
Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction
Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training
Include your Children when Baking Cookies
2007-07-11 09:19:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 0⤋
The top 100 funny Bumper Stickers
4 out of 5 voices in my head say Go For It!
A hundred thousand sperm and you were the fastest?
A real gentleman wouldn't stare at my stickers.
Answer my prayer -- steal this car.
As a matter of fact, I do own the road.
Back Off! I'm a Postal Worker
Back off! I'm not that kind of car.
Beat rush hour, leave work at noon
Bipartisanship: I'll hug your elephant if you kiss my ***
CAUTION! - Driver legally blonde!
CAUTION! I can go from 0 to ***** in 2.5 seconds
Clear the road I'm SIXTEEN
Come The Rapture Can I Have Your Car?
Cover me! I'm changing lanes.
Daddy Farted, and we Can't get out!!
Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
Don't assume I'm not into cheap meaningless sex
Don't follow me. I'm lost too.
Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
Don't worry…it's only kinky the first time.
Driver carries no cash. He's married.
Forget About World Peace. Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!
FREE TIBET! (with the purchase of a 44 oz. drink).
Get off my *** before I start to like it!
God is Coming and is she PISSED
God was my co-pilot but we crashed in the mountains and I had to eat him
Heavily medicated for your safety.
Hello, officer. Put it on my tab.
Help! I Farted and can't roll down my windows!
Horn Broken Watch for Finger
I'm a nice guy. My car is evil.
I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to work.
I'm only driving this way to piss you off.
I'm Out of Estrogen And I Have a Gun
I'm looking for the right pedestrian to run over.
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
I'm Not Losing Hair I'm Getting Head
I'm not playing with myself, I'm just adjusting my jewellery.
I'm out of bed and dressed, what more do you want?
I am not a bum. My wife works!
I brake suddenly for tailgaters
I don't care, I don't have to.
I gave up drinking, smoking and sex - Worst 15 minutes of my life
I got a gun for my wife, best trade I ever made.
I have a drink problem - I can't afford it.
I have a nice body. It's in my trunk.
I have good Brakes, Do you have GOOD Insurance?
I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere.
I is a college student.
I just let my mind wander, and it didn't come back.
I love cats they taste like chicken
I may be a Cruel and Heartless ***** But I'm damn good at it
I may be slow but I'm ahead of you!
I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
I respect your opinion. Just don't want to hear it!
I still have the body of an 18 year old but it's in my trunk and it's starting to smell
I Still Miss My "Ex" But My Aim Is Improving
I suffer from c.r.s. (can't remember ****)
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
I want to be just like Barbie That ***** Has Everything!
I Wasn't Born A ***** Men Like You Make Me That Way
If everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane!
If I wanted to hear from an asshole I'd fart
If this car is being driven courteously it's been stolen.
If we call it tourist season why can't we shoot them?
If You Are Born Again Do You Have Two Belly Buttons ?
If you are not a hemorrhoid then get off my ***!
If you can read this, I've lost my trailer.
If you don't like my attitude, stop looking at my Stickers!
Invest in America. Buy a Congressman!
It's time to pull over and change the air in your head!
It sucks to be a man in a lesbians body.
Jesus is coming look busy.
Jesus loves you, everyone else thinks you're an asshole
Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
Learn from your parents' mistakes. Use birth control!
Lord give me patience... But Hurry!
Make It Idiot Proof and Someone Will Make a Better Idiot
Men are Idiots and I married their King
My daughter turned down your honor student!
My Goddess Gave Birth To Your God
My other bumper sticker is funny.
My other car is a broom
My other car is also a piece of junk
Of All The Things I've Lost I Miss My Mind The Most
Out of my mind (back in 5 minutes)
Pissing off the whole planet one person at a time
Politicians & Diapers need to be changed... often for the same reason
Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself
Sex is my religion.. let us pray!
So Many Cats, So Few Recipes
So many pedestrians. So little time!
Somewhere in Texas there's a village missing an idiot
Sorry if I look interested, I'm not!
THE EARTH IS FULL GO HOME
Think this looks bad? You should see the front.
This Is Not An Abandoned Vehicle
Why Are You Staring At My Bumper!? You Pervert!
Work harder!! Millions on welfare are depending on you.
Yes, This Is My Truck No, I Won't Help You Move
Your child may be an honors student, but You're still an idiot.
YOU SAY I'M A ***** LIKE IT'S A BAD THING
2007-07-11 09:31:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Here is a joke for you
Southern Blondes
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman from Alabama arrived ....and bet twenty-thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice.
She said, 'I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless.'
With that, she stripped to the waist; rolled the dice; and yelled, 'Come on, baby.... Southern Girl needs new clothes!'
As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up-and-down... And squealed...'YES! YES! I WON! I WON!'
She hugged each of the dealers... And then picked up her winnings and her clothes, and quickly departed.
The dealers stared a each other dumfounded. Finally, one of them asked,
'What did she roll?'
The other answered, 'I don't know... I thought you were watching.'
Moral ---
Not all Southerners are stupid. Not all blondes are dumb. But, all men..... Are men.
2007-07-11 23:19:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember last night and the night before?
Three tom cat's came knocking at the door.
One with a fiddle, one with a drum
And one with a pancake stuck to his bum.
You WILL have good days too .....
2007-07-11 19:19:58 · answer #6 · answered by Dolores & the prune 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I drink McDonalds sweet tea and eat cinnamon melts for a little extra PEP in the Mo'nin!
2007-07-11 09:18:43 · answer #7 · answered by Michelle B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There will not be a full moon on Halloween until the year
2020.
2007-07-11 15:35:43 · answer #8 · answered by Garbo's snowflake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont feel so down im having a bad day too. i mean first off the gravy didnt want to have sex with my waffles and im like WTF gravy what do i pay you for not to sit on your butt and make me pants and i punched him in the face and he started crying jelly bean tears i told him hes a sissy just like him grandpas baby mamas sisters neice steven. so i stormed out the room and came here to console myself by having an affair with my computer....so cheer up!
2007-07-11 09:21:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Nephrotic Syndrome. It's when someone's p!ss is foamy. this girl wrote to my bf and that's like the second thing she told him.
2007-07-11 09:18:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋