Is it considered cheating?

Question

My best friend came to me to ask me what I thought about the problems she was having in her marriage. Her husband is very niave when it comes to women. There is this woman that he works with that talks to him all the time. He never thought anything wrong with it, just thought she was just a normal co-worker being nice. (all innocent). I guess this woman was talking to him one day and asked him questions about his personal life, nothing crossing the line. He responded to her by telling her about his kids and his wife. She then said "Oh, you're married" (she never seen his ring because they are constantly wearing gloves). It dawned on him then about what her intentions were. He had no clue. He didn't realize that he was flirting back to her this whole time. He told her then that he loved his wife. And that what was happening would stop right there. She understood and said she was sorry, she didnt' know. My friend thinks it is cheating cause he flirted back. i don't think so.

i told her that he made everything very clear to this other woman. And he came to her, his wife to discuss this. He didn't keep it from her, he was being honest. I think she just feels a bit insecure. But I don't think it's cheating because he didn't persue anything when he figured out what was going on. what do you think?

I think the part that got to her was that he enjoyed the attention. My personal oppinion is that everyone enjoys that little bit of attention. Makes them feel good about themselves, I think. But when he realized what her intentions were he stopped it.

Thanx for all the wonderful answers! You all are great! I just needed oppinions for when I talk to her next. I really appreciate the help.

Answer 1

It sounds like he was being naive when all this was going on. It's hard not to have some conversation with co-workers and they can sometimes ask personal questions. He was right in letting her know he was married and that he had no intention of taking it any further.

I'm not sure why he even told his wife about it, it was one of those things that would have been best to keep to himself and move on. He didn't cheat on her but now she has to live with the fear that this woman may be after her husband.

Sometimes we can say too much, even in innocence.

Answer 2

I wouldn't consider flirting, cheating. But I guess that I'm more secure than some other people. If the husband has never reallly done anything in the past to prove himself untrustworthy, then what is your friend worried about? If she makes a big deal out of this, then it will turn into problems. She should be proud, her husband's a hottie, had a woman almost throw herself at him, and he walked away. Tell her to leave it alone (in a nice way)

Answer 3

Well, no sense in regurgitating the same answers...but I am curious about the relationship you have with your friends husband. Did HE tell you the story himself, or did you get it all from your friend? I'm thinking from the detailed account of the story & your friend's accusatory reaction, the story came from the husband. Now if my deductions are correct, then it would be safe to also assume you are close friends with the husband as well? If so, I would suggest perhaps helping him learn a bit more about human nature. Disclosure seems to be the underlying theme with him. While your friend SHOULD be proud & confident in a mate that would share such an event, I probably would not have recommended him doing so...
Teach him poker!! (He's) "gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, & know when to run....."
Sometimes, it's really just that simple! :)

Answer 4

someone talking to you means absouletly nothing.if he was making a point of trying to see her every time there ws a break or walking her to his car,then i would be concerned.tell her how lucky she is to have such a honest man.most men would love to be flirted with even if they stopped it there,which most wouldnt stop at that.she has a man who seems to really care and share the things at work with her.he wasnt even flirting because in his mind it was casual conversation,and thats all it was.eating lunch with her,etc is flirting.tell her to not be to insecure because he will get tired of 50 questions everyday he gets home if his wife doesnt trust him now to go to work.ask her if she has ever told a male figure that she was married and had a child?you can have that type of questions pop up anywhere.its a normal question.

Answer 5

Just because he was talking to a co-worker and responding to her questions, this doesn't classify as cheating. Also, he wasn't doing the flirting, this co-worker apparently was try to do the flirting.

Your friend has some issues and needs to work through them.

Answer 6

How on earth can it be considered cheating? ..he stopped the innocent chats when he realised it meant more to the co worker.
Has he asked his wife how many times she has cheated by talking with other males?
NO this is NOT cheating!

Answer 7

Definitely not cheating! Your friend appears to have a very loving trustworthy husband. If he had been considering cheating he would never have told her about his co-worker coming on to him. She should be grateful she has a husband like this, they are very few and far between. Tell her to be more secure in her relationship and trust her husband who obviously loves her very much.

Answer 8

No, it is not cheating, for goodness sakes. He was entirely innocent (as was she - since she didn't know he was married) and he put an end to things when he figured it out. Your friend needs to grow up.

~

Answer 9

wwwwoooowwwwww!!! r they still men out there like urs I mean that means dat he really loves n admires u n that's difenately NOT cheatin nthe other woman apolozied n what this is tellin u is dat ur husband attractive so hold on to him oh n don't fell insecure cuz oviously he is a gud man.

Answer 10

No that's not cheating, he had no idea. I mean he didn't do anything with this woman, dinner dates, late night phone calls. He is fine, your friend should rethink her thoughts of him cheating.