when i asked him what he would do if i said no he said he could not understand why i would not "help him out" and would have to reconsider our relationship as he would do it for me.Now i could do this but feel funny him asking me and not at all happy with his anwser.This debt is not from a medical problem but from his last divorce and money trying to "wine and dine" the old gf he left his wife for(not me)
2007-07-10 17:21:07 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Business & Finance ➔ Personal Finance
I only have 10K of debt - marry me!
No seriously, I totally disagree with the other repondents. How is he going to pay this debt off? Answer: with money that he would have been contributing to your marriage anyway. Whichever way you look at it, you will end up paying one way or another.
2007-07-10 17:31:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think his reaction should cause you to reconsider the relationship. Asking for the money was tactless on his part but his childish reaction is ridiculous. Not only would I not give him the money but I would refuse to marry him until the debt is paid off because him bringing that debt into a marriage will affect you financially as well. The money he spends trying to get out of debt will drain from household finances and his share of familial contributions as well as probem presented when in some circumstances a spouse can be held somewhat accountable for their partners debts.
2007-07-10 17:33:09 · answer #2 · answered by princess banana hammock 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honestly? Sounds like a scam to me... I'm not trying to sound mean or judgemental, but I think a tough stand is needed on this one.
I'm a freelance and independently contracted artist by trade. It took me years to gain my financial feet. By the time I did, I was in an enormous hole... It took me eight years to dig my way back out of it, and not once did I ask the help of my partner. I figured, why strain the relationship? I was there to make my partner happy, not make her suffer along with me. If he will have to "reconsider the relationship" because you won't throw him money, then maybe he's in it for the wrong reasons... But that's just one viewpoint. I'm sure there are others...
2007-07-10 17:31:22 · answer #3 · answered by Todd C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. Don't pay it off for him. If he is unable to take care of his own debts now, he will most certainly be unable to care for his own debts in the future.
Tell him that you love him, that you don't want him to be in debt, but the best thing for him is to learn how to be responsible for the money that he spent.
You are not married to him yet, and I would be very cautious jumping into a marriage with a man who has that much debt.
A counselor in Hawaii refuses to marry couples unless each person has saved up 10,000 dollars in savings. That way, when they are married money will not be as much of a problem.
Good luck. If he tries to use manipulation such as
"you don't love me", he is not mature enough to understand what real love is. Real love is not asking your girlfriend to cover for your debts/mistakes or marry her and put her in a situation where your debt becomes her debt.
2007-07-10 17:32:58 · answer #4 · answered by arduous 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would straight tell him he must be out his rabbit azz mind! There are more fish in the sea.Soon as you pay this debt he will run through your money and leave you hi and dry! Invest don't be dumb and damn sure don't invest in this man!Whats he do for you??????? that another man won't do????? Better yet let him go and use this money on doing something for yourself and maybe your appearance and find you another man.By all means do not ever tell someone you barely know how much money you got.
2007-07-10 17:41:14 · answer #5 · answered by tosha38401 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The man has some chutzpah asking his 2 month GF to pay his 30K debt.
You are getting played, I would kick the man to the curb.
Two months and a fiance. He works fast - you need to ice down his play.
2007-07-10 17:25:31 · answer #6 · answered by Mike Frisbee 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Honey, kick him to the curb. No one should ask this of their fiance(e). When we got married, I had about 11K in debt, and I refused, at first, to allow my husband to pay it, but when he said "Hon, it's our money now, so either we pay it out and get it gone, or we just continue to make monthly payments, either way, it's still OUR money" I figured he was right, so we did.
I can't believe he had the guts to ask you that. And his response?! Hell no!
2007-07-10 17:30:24 · answer #7 · answered by Shayna 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a three part answer:
1. NO
2. NO
3. NO
Fiance of 2 months? Why do you even need to ask. Bad move. It's so bad, you may need to evaluate whether you should even marry this guy. I sense future trouble if you do.
2007-07-10 17:30:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
First, throw him out. Then change the locks on your door and notify the credit bureaus that you want to be notified of any new inquires. I would also notify the bank where you have your funds. Perhaps you should get new account numbers just to play it safe.
2007-07-10 18:50:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
kick him to the curb. Why should you have to pay his debts that he ran up having fun? He's only using you for money, and will probably leave after your accounts are exhausted.
2007-07-10 17:37:45 · answer #10 · answered by Nekkid Truth! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋