when i asked him what he would do if i said no he said he could not understand why i would not "help him out" and would have to reconsider our relationship as he would do it for me.Now i could do this but feel funny him asking me and not at all happy with his anwser.This debt is not from a medical problem but from his last divorce and money trying to "wine and dine" the old gf he left his wife for(not me)
2007-07-10 17:20:37 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There s no way I would give the jerk a dime...his answer to what would he do if you didn't should be a clue to his character. Chances are you pay off his debt and he will be out looking for something new! Debt free!!!!
2007-07-10 17:28:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 9⤊ 0⤋
He's a player. Check with the old gf. Probably took money from her, too. You shouldn't be his fiance after only two months. He's only using you to get the money. A decent man would not ask for money. How do you know he would help you out?Get rid of him fast. If he would reconsider your relationship based on what you decide about the money, that should be a loud warning about what he is interested in.
2007-07-10 17:29:52 · answer #2 · answered by Morningstar 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think if he is going to wine/dine his gf and not his wife, what is the guarantee that he is not going to do the same to you when you are married? So I think instead of giving him the chance to reconsider, you have to reconsider your whole future with him and tell him that you are reconsidering your relationship with him. I don't think its worth the gamble on someone who needs money from you and bases it on your love for him. I think he is not worth your time, better late than never!
Good Luck. Break up are hard but at least you will know you did the right thing later on.!
2007-07-10 17:27:52 · answer #3 · answered by Traveller4u 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
That is a major red flag.
A real mature man never takes money from women or children. He is brought up to earn and provide. If a man has no ability or spends beyond his means, you can bet that he will do the same after marriage.
He asked you to pay off his debts, not even a loan, but a gift to help him. He should not consider marrying anyone until he has recovered from his financial hole.
2007-07-10 18:17:08 · answer #4 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not pay his debt for him. Once your married that's one thing, but your not married now.
I can't tell you how many times in my life that I've heard of this from both sides of the fence. The gal or guy pays off the debt and then the fiance calls off the marriage. Guess who lost out on that deal?
The best workable deal is to place this money into a savings account (the other can't touch) for until after the marriage is consummated.
By the way, whats the rush to pay it off? If your fiance isn't delivering pizzas, newspapers, etc, doing whatever is required to settle HIS DEBTs before the marriage, do you really want to marry him? I mean if he's not willing to take care of his problems now, how's he going to take care of you and support the family later?
2007-07-10 17:32:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
No! Don't do it. If you were married it might be different because you guys would be trying to get out of dept as a couple. I can't believe he had the guts to ask you that. Are you going to pay for the wedding too? Don't do it. I have a friend who did the same thing, including paying her lazy husbands child support and it got her nowhere. She left him but ended up paying him to leave. You are still in time to do the right thing. Good luck.
2007-07-10 17:27:55 · answer #6 · answered by anna_90242 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I would kick him to the curb no questions asked. He is your fiance not your husband and why should you be responsible to pay his debt? don't be stupid. what is wrong with his pocket? you need to look long and hard at this I would think right of the top of my head that he is clearly using you in the worst way possible. you are just going to be the next X in his life and he will just move on to the next. My question to you is what made him think that he is not responsible for his debt and worst make it your problem? I would tell him where to go. wise up sweetie.
2007-07-10 17:50:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well Linda, it sounds as if he thinks he has found someone who will bail him out of his debts. Dump the jerk. He just wants a free ride. Who is not to say he will not do this to you after you pay his bills. Grrrrrrrrrrr, that makes my blood boil because I was with a loser like that. Notice I wrote "was."
Back in 1984, one of my best friends had a guy who talk her into marrying him. Then he talked her into selling her house that was paid for and pay for his divorce and debts from his first marriage. They were not married 3 years, and he asked her for a divorce. Please be careful.
2007-07-10 17:24:50 · answer #8 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
based on his answer that he would have to reconsider your relationship I would not pay the debt and would seriously reconsider the relationship from your perspective. Sounds like he just wants your money.
2007-07-11 03:03:59 · answer #9 · answered by JLM 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Id tell him to take his 30k debt ang get out!
You are not a ATM you are his fiance.
In my idea any bills you have before you were together are eachothers own responsibility.
It may have been a different reply from me if he didnt say that he might have to reconsider your relationship if you didnt pay.
Sounds to me that his looking thr $$.glasses.
Sorry probably not what you wanted to hear.
2007-07-10 17:26:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
If it doesn't feel right to you, don't do it!! I know that I wouldn't. I've seen too many people get burned by this one (and never for close to this much money)!!
You have every right to be disturbed by his response. Wow! Sounds like he really needs to get his priorities straight! If he had a mature, responsible attitude about your relationship, he would understand your reluctance to pay. After all, once you are married, you will, in essence, be sharing the debt anyway.
PS---you know what they say...once a cheater, always a cheater!
2007-07-10 17:30:06 · answer #11 · answered by Lisa 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋