my husband is a liar. what should i do?

Question

i been married for 2 years and 7 months pregnant.i recently left my husband home alone fo 4 days to go to parents. when i ame back i saw that he went online looking for porn.i called him immediately and first he denied than came home started begging me to forgive him.even though i wasn;t the one satisfied in our sex. he said he never went before but u don't put nude school girls if its the first time u went to check it out. it makes me sick. i have no respect for himbecause to me he is immature and not reasdy to be a dad. i asked him is there anything else i shuld know. he said no. i asked do u have email accounts i don;t know about. he said no. and after 2 weeks i do some research and find his email account. i go on it. and find myspace account email. i ask him the password he said he doesn;t have myspace. so i put his email and click on forgot password and bam he puts on myspace that he is single. ihate my life.i have a man who denies/ i cry all the time/what shuld i do. its not same

Answer 1

When I look at this I see several problems!

First is there is a control issue here. You have been married for 2 years. You are about to have a child. These are serious changes in your and your husband's lives. You went to visit your parents, and he "went online looking for porn". Big deal!!! So he was looking at pictures! Men like to look at women. I hate to tell you this, but ever since Ogg drew pictures of women on the cave wall, men have enjoyed looking at them.

You "have no respect for him because to me he is immature and not ready to be a dad". You obviously are trying to change him, and control him. If you felt that way, you should not have gotten pregnant yet!!

He is feeling trapped. He is wondering if he did the right thing, getting married and starting a family. You are not helping by spying (yes that is what you are doing by checking the computer history) and nagging him.

If he was going to cheat, he would have gone out to a bar or nightclub and picked up a partner while you were gone. He did not do that. He was home, looking at pixels on a screen!

You are his wife, not his mother. He has the right to some privacy. You do not need to read his E- mail, nor do you need to go behind him to see what he was looking at on the computer. Does he go through your purse to see what is there?

He is dealing with many changes right now. He is going to be a father. He has a wife who is nagging him. You are going through changes, and expect him to adapt. If he does not meet your specifications, you let him know loud and clear.

If you keep nagging and spying on him, he will eventually do something that you do not want him to do. Either you are going to push him away so much that he will cheat, or he will get tired of being treated badly and will leave!

You need to accept that he is an adult, and will sometimes not agree with you. If you try too hard to force him to change, he may do some things differently, but he will always have some resentment towards you!

Your choice is to accept him with his flaws, or make his life enough of a living hell that he leaves. If you take the second choice, I expect you to be posting here about what a rotten SOB he is leaving a wife and child!

Answer 2

Girlfriend, let me start by saying, don't hate your life. You have a baby to look forward to, and that in itself is a blessing. It's unfortunate what your going through, but I too have been going thru the same thing. So whatever I say to you, it's from experience. I have tried and tried to give my husband the benefit of a doubt. He is a compulsive liar and cheat. He has all sorts of e-mail accounts, he did the myspace, he looks up porn, and the list goes on. I have taken all that I can take. My conclusion to this is to leave because it's not getting any better. I know you want to raise your kids in a two parent home, but your husband has not grown up yet. And it is sad that people just let them get away with saying "all men do this" that is such a lame excuse. Because if the shoe was on the other foot, these so called men would not like it. My husband can't stand for another man to even look at me. He says sometimes he hates having a beautiful wife. He is so overly jealous and overprotective of me, it's sickening. And it all boils down to him not being 100% faithful in the mind body and soul. Now I'm not saying the best thing for you to do is to leave, but re-evaluate YOUR situation, and ask yourself is it really worth it? Weigh all the good and bad about him. If the good out weigh the bad, then you stay, and vice versa. I wish you well in whatever decision you make. You will be a good mother because you have had the patience to deal with your husband. GOOD LUCK

Answer 3

i had the same problem but you know what every guy in the world married or no married watch porn it is very natural just let that go and with respect to what he put in his space some times husbands make a little mistakes he is going to realize that you are the special one and the porn it is just fantasy's just try to be patient and understanding and joke a bout it with him .At first I was so upset but after 2 years I just started doing the same thing because I was curious but you know what it is not the big deal guys have needs being with his friends,watch their games,play games,watch porn etc. those are things that are not 24 hours a day so you just relax and do the thing that you want too and he will come back to you much happier.try it

Answer 4

Oh my gosh, my husband and I have been dealing with this issue today also!! I found on the history of the computer that he had been looking up "young girls" and "upskirts" and to me, this is nothing but PERVERTED!!!

Then he lied about it.....he lied about it all day long. I finally got it out of him. This is not the first time that I have caught him in a lie when it pertains to porn.

To me, a lie is a lie....im offended that he has lied to me so often because it just makes me question everything that he tells me. I shouldnt have to live like that.

But, I, too feel like this is a pathway to cheating. If he isnt satified with me now.....I truly feel like he will always be looking for someway to get more pleasure out of his sexual fantasies. When he gets tired of the computer screen....I dont see what would stop him from going out and getting it from somwhere else!!

This sucks....Sounds like we are both in quite a predicament. I hope things work out for you. And just so you know, I dont think that you are being unreasonable. Women have sexual desires also but we control them. Men dont seem to have control over their sex drive.....and thats sick to me.

Answer 5

I do not have my space or email so Im sure this is a easy pre time to cheat ...I'd let him go for the simple fact you can't trust him....If he loved you he would do whatever it took to keep you and if he don't hes not worth keeping.

Answer 6

Leave him, honey. He doesnt respect you, and he's looking to get some on the side. You and your baby deserve better! Dont you listen to the news, about pregnant women being killed by their boyfriends and husbands??? Get out, and dont look back.

Answer 7

hmmm....all guys look at porn and it doesn't have anything to do with him not thinking your "enough" for him. They just like nakedness...period. Maybe you should try looking at some too and maybe you won't hate your life so much.

Answer 8

well, I don't know much about marriage and stuff, but try and talk to him and get some sense knocked into him. Maybe if you got a family member of his to talk to him? I mean a guys a guy and they just LOVE naked girls. I hope it works out well!

-Lyssa