My husband and I have done our research and decided not to circumcise our son. The problem is with his family. His Mother is not even talking to me right now because she thinks it was all my decision and that I am setting my son up for a lifetime of heartache by not getting his foreskin chopped off. Why do family members think that it is any of their business anyway? Anyone else encountering this problem?
2007-07-10 09:50:24 · 19 answers · asked by ShellyC 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Think about it this way, she's upset that you chose not to mutilate your son.
Does that opinion really matter to you?
You did your homework and realized the risks of circumcision outweigh the benefits. You had the best interest of your son at heart. Can she truly say the same?
Tell her if she really wants to be helpful, she can do your laundry...See if she talks to you after that!
2007-07-10 10:02:21 · answer #1 · answered by Catherine 3 · 6⤊ 3⤋
We had the exact same issue, only with my family. My son is 7 weeks old now and we chose to not have him circumcised because like you we did research and decided that circumcision is only a cosmetic procedure that has become very popular in the US. Luckily my parents didn't stop talking to me completely, but we had several debates and I got a lot of sly comments even after we brought him home from the hospital.
It was a difficult decision to make because really it's the first big decision you must make as a new parent of a little boy. It makes it tough when your own family disagrees with what you choose. But my family has now stopped raising the issue. I'm sure I'll hear about it again, but at least I believe in my gut that we made the right decision.
Also, to throw out a challenge to parents debating over whether they should have their son circumcised... I recommend that you watch a live circumcision on-line. (http://newborns.stanford.edu/Gomco.html). However It should not be a decision based solely on emotion, you should also research the facts.
2007-07-11 02:30:50 · answer #2 · answered by M T 1 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I got some flack for it but Im so glad we didn't. More and more people are choosing not to. My son is 3. The main concern my husband had was that he wouldn't look like him or that he would get picked on in the locker rooms. I did a poll at work and 2 of my girlfriend's husbands are not circumcised. No big deal. no issues.
I felt the same way you did, like I was chopping off a piece of his body that god put there. There is no reason for it. I read stories of men who had it done later in life and said that sexual pleasure was greatly reduced. Most guys don't ever know what it is like because they don't remember having one. I just think it's wrong and I dont believe that they don't remeber it, it is in the subconcious mind somewhere.
2007-07-10 10:06:38 · answer #3 · answered by littletricky 4 · 5⤊ 1⤋
When I told my mom, at first, she was like, well, it is better for the baby, and yadda yadda yadda....
So, instead of getting mad, I just told her I understand what she is saying, but doctors were, and still are, for the most part very misinformed about circumcisions. I told her I have done lots of research, and me and Jason decided that we do not want it done for our sons. I printed the info off for her, and we talked about it, and now she is so AGAINST circumcision (even after circumcising my 3 brothers years ago), that she has been telling all of our family members the truth about it.
In my family, when someone is pregnant, everyone loves that baby very much and wants what is best for that baby. I'm sure that is all your mil wants. She is just misinformed. So, print some stuff off for her, (including the fact that NO health organization recommend circumcision), and let her see for herself. You can't argue with the facts.
2007-07-11 03:57:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
We had the opposite problem. My parents were against circumcision (they're from a foreign country where they don't do it). They were a little disappointed but understood that it's our decision. I actually put more "blame" on my husband knowing that my parents wouldn't bug him about it.
If it's a decision that your husband agrees with, then perhaps he should be the one to explain to his parents/family. He should referee that side of the family.
Eventually they'll come around. If she doesn't talk to you...she won't get to spend time with her little grandson.
Best of luck.
mari
2007-07-10 09:56:39 · answer #5 · answered by mari m 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Let them pout. It's your baby, and your decision.
The US is the only industrialized country where the majority of men are circumsized.
I have seen 100s of circumcisions being performed [ at work ].
I have also seen lots of 'healed' circumcisions, and none are exactly the same.
I did a lot of research before my sons were born,and decided not to circumcize them. They never had any problems, and it was easier to teach them to clean their penis than how to brush their teeth! [ they are now 18 and 22 ]
I have never read anything that would change my mind, but a lot to re-inforce that decision!
2007-07-10 10:07:45 · answer #6 · answered by Nurse Susan 7 · 8⤊ 1⤋
Nurse Susan, I LOVE your answer!
My son is 10 years old and not circumcised. We have talked about hygiene since he was old enough to understand, and yes, he DOES understand that he has to retract it to clean it, and he does it no problems.
The reasons that so many people give for mutilating their sons just fall completely apart, in my opinion.
The bottom line is that the baby belongs to YOU and YOUR HUSBAND, not your parents or his parents. Just make sure that everyone that will be caring for him knows not to try to retract his foreskin for any reason during diaper changes or baths! It will retract on it's own when he's old enough! To force it back will cause scar tissue and pain later on.
2007-07-10 10:22:32 · answer #7 · answered by nightynightnurse 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
In America it has become the norm since WWII. It was done for soldiers sighting that it was cleaner and more efficient in the field. When the men returned the parents began doing it to their children so the males would look like their dads. from there it just trickled down. Most females today don't even know what it looks like uncircumcised. It is a matter of preference. If you have any doubt though it is better to just get it done as soon as they are born as they heal faster and have no memory of it. The older they get the harder it is on them and the more painful.Don't let anyone tell you that you are wrong for not wanting it though it isn't necessary only a matter of convenience and preference.
2007-07-10 10:05:50 · answer #8 · answered by MJ 6 · 1⤊ 4⤋
It isn't their business- he's your son and it's ultimately up to you. My hubbies family thought I was going to leave my sons penis alone b/c that's how all the boys are in their family, but I made the decision to circumcise him for personal reasons. Either way as long as your son's healthy that's all that should matter to them.
2007-07-10 09:59:39 · answer #9 · answered by ~lattemom~ 5 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Well yes, but quite the opposite. We want him to be circumcised but my mother thinks that it's a dirty and unnatural thing to do. I just simply told her, this is my son, and I chose this for him because I've never heard of a grown man wishing he was never circumcised, rather than how many men I've heard to wish they were.
2007-07-10 10:18:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 3⤋