What should I do to punish my 7 yr. old for hurting the baby?

Question

Today I was so shocked when my 7 yr. old pushed his 6 month old baby brother over while in his Jumperoo..I was cleaning dishes and I heard the baby scream and when I ran over the jumperoo was on top of him. I asked my 7 yr. old why he did that and he said the baby hurt his finger..I am so upset that he would do such a thing because I have had this talk a dozen times with him that when the baby pulls your hair or anything he doesn't mean to hurt you put I felt it was a little extreme the way he tossed him over like that..

I said you know you could have really hurt the baby and he said"i know" with no emotions

has anyone had problems with older siblings hurting their baby brother or sister

Answer 1

It sounds as though the 7 y.o. needs some counseling before something much worse happens. This type of aggression could be an indicator of a deeper psychological condition.

Additional comment:
Go to family counseling, the worst thing that could happen is you find out the child was simply having difficulty expressing his emotions and lashed out at someone defenseless. Hopefully if there is a bigger problem, you will find that out and a course of treatment can help your older child to become a mentally healthy person for the rest of his life instead of a psychopath because a small problem was allowed to fester into something terrible.
This kind of behavior has been seen in other instances where one sibling actually killed another. Please, heed this warning signal.
If simple discipline is all that is shown to be necessary, the counselor will have some very good suggestions for how to effectively punish children who need punished as well as rewarding those who need rewarded. Your family will definitely benefit in the long-run.

I hope I am mistaken about what could be wrong, best of luck.

Answer 2

There may be some underlying things going on here. At 7 I would think he would be old enough to understand not to hurt the baby, how much smaller the baby is etc. He's still going to get frustrated with the bay and he may loose his cool and do something he shouldn't, but if this is a reoccuring thing then you need to get to the bottom of it. Is he feeling extremely jealous of the baby? Are there other things going on that he may blame the baby for? I have 9, 5, 3 and 1 yr old. Whe my 5 yr old was born, my then 4 yr old was much more rough with her than I was comfortable with. He had some other behavior issues going on and he was eventually diagnosed with ADHD. Later, when he was 6 and we had another baby, and then again at 8, he totally got that the baby didn't mean to pull his hair, the baby would bit his finger if he put it in his mouth, etc etc and knew to be gentle with the baby.

As for punishment, definately a time out in his room. Talk with him to get to the bottom of it. Also don't forget the power of positive reinforcement. When you see him playing well with the baby make a big deal of what a good big brother he is and how much you like it when he plays so well with the baby. Also, if this is a reoccuring thing, try not to leave him alone with the baby. Pull the jumparoo around from room to room as you do the dishes, shower etc.

Answer 3

1] Say, "OK, you hurt the baby, even though you knew it was wrong. that is dangerous, and hurts the baby. So now, you are restricted from [ take away whatever one thing he really enjoys the most - playstation, computer, TV, time with friends, swimming, etc. for seven days.' [ one day for each year of age ]. 'No excuses, no exceptions.' And if he goes anywhere, he isn't allowed to use restricted stuff there, either [ grandparents, friend's house. ]
2] if he does it again, take away all of it - TV, computer, friends, EVERYTHING for seven days; and CALL a THERAPIST!
3] third time, do a Dr. Phil - strip his room to a mattress and a pillow. Hand him clean clothes that you have picked out for him. Feed him, and treat him if he is ill - no recreation or any 'fun' activities, not even McDonalds.
IMPORTANT!
a] do not leave him alone with the baby. Your baby has already been 'attacked', luckily without injury. Don't blow this off as 'sibling rivalry' or 'boys will be boys' nonsense - I am a Mom, and have four younger siblings - all of us olders would have attacked anyone who hurt 'our' baby.
b] make sure all family and care-givers are in agreement with the plan - it won't work if partially re-inforced.

Answer 4

I havent had any problems yet. I have a seven year old too and a 3 month old. I think there may be an underlying issue. He may be resenting all the attention the baby is getting and how he no longer is the baby. I know that we have been dealing with that with my daughter. She is very expressive in letting me know that she thinks I need to spend more individualized time with her because she thinks that I give the baby more attention than I do her. I am working on providing both my children my time but I also explain to her that babies need alot of attention. Good luck!!

Answer 5

Sounds to me like he's developed some jealousy. A 7-year old know what is right and what is wrong, and he know he can hurt the baby.
Punishing him too harshly may make him resent the baby more. Try to spend more time alone with him, and let him in on caring for the baby to make him feel like a big boy, he'sll soon stop resenting the baby.
For now, tell him he can not play with or touch the baby until he learns how to behave around it. Tell him you are afraid he will hurt the baby, and you have to protect the baby because he is too tiny to do it himself. Separate the two.

Answer 6

Thats a hard situation. You love your older child but also love your new baby and have a need to protect him.
Since time has passed don't do anything else or it will confuse your 7 yr old.
IF it happens again, which it very well might since the child said "I know" and seemed not to really be bothered by you being bothered, time out is called for.
I know it sounds minimal, but kids HATE not being able to roam free. Being confined to one spot drives them crazy.
They say time out your kid one minute for each year of his or her life: so your child would sit in the corner (not the child's room though as this is their safety area) for seven minutes.
Try it. You may be surprised. It actually works on my toddler and nothing else does....

Answer 7

i agree with nurse susan,
i have a 4yr 2 yr and 4 mo twins
my 2 yr old bit both of them, i went crazy. i left the room cuz i didnt want to spank her, of course i took the twins w me. but i came back when i was calm and bit her( not hard ) and showed her that when she does that it hurts. she hasnt bit them since but, this is ur boy were talking about boys are diffrent than girls. they really dont understand until things get too far, i do recommend taking him to a therapist. hes 7yrs old not 2 or 3 he does understand right from wrong, i would be a little more cautious w him.

Answer 8

no rely how previous our infants are they're going to continuously be our babies ~ this is a factor of being a mom.. she will continuously choose you, it purely variations as she gets older. As a discern all of us be attentive to that our job is meant to alter into redundant - subject is that often that transition comes way in the previous we are waiting for it LOL Your daughter's voicing her 'dream' never reflects a loss of sensitivity in the direction of you, i think of this is an uncomplicated case of her being somewhat self-absorbed in that 2nd and not reflects an established character trait. Having her very own room comes with popular jobs - cleansing it, adorning it and additionally having no person to share your memories with previous due at night or get convenience from once you have a frightening dream and those are realities she could desire to no longer have theory approximately in her 2nd of 'dreaming'! Being independant and robust willed is a sturdy element - the actuality that she is able to share her desires with you and talk the flaws she could like in existence with you - as a discern, this is a few thing to be very pleased with ~ inspire and nurture it!

Answer 9

Yes punish him but don't be over concerned about this. Its normal. many many other kids have done the same thing! He is acting out but doesn't REALLY want to hurt the baby. punish him and then start trying to give him some extra time and attention

Answer 10

Oh wow.maybe jealousy. the 7 year old has been the only for 7 years..... and now he has a baby and not getting all the attention.
Im sure that is what it is. Just make sure you are giving him the same amount of attention....