My husband was on board with me to adopt my 3 month old nephew who was almost killed by his parents. Then all of a sudden he tells me he wants a divorce and that he doesn't want to raise a child with me. Am I wrong for not giving up the baby and trying to make it work with my husband? He says it has nothing to do with the baby, but he never mentioned divorce until after the notion of adopting the baby came to reality. Please help me!
2007-07-10 08:58:47 · 17 answers · asked by Leaving on a jetplane 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Gosh, Pamelita, as hard as it is going to be, let him go! Do you really want someone that selfish as your mate? That is simply crazy, what he has done. Let him go and good riddance!
2007-07-10 09:03:19 · answer #1 · answered by John Timothy 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Wow! What a turn of events! First of all, what is his reason for wanting a divorce? Second, is there any other family member who could adopt the boy? Will he have to be put into the system if you don't step up and adopt? Can you have children of your own? You need to talk to your hubby and really have a heart to heart. I can understand the need to help the child, to want to give him a better life. As a woman and a mother, I would want to do the same. Are one of the parents your husbands' sibling or yours? Be completely sure this is what you want, and in the end, if it is and he still wants to leave you, then GOOD-BYE! Good luck!
2007-07-10 16:24:08 · answer #2 · answered by raininonsunday 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm guessing there's more to it, the pending adoption may have been the straw that broke the camel's back. I think your thoughts of trying to reconcile are admirable, but you must first learn the root of the problem. The baby is another issue too, but a seperate one. Do all you can and hope for the best, it's all you can do. Good luck.
2007-07-10 16:25:59 · answer #3 · answered by Mike 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pamelita, you are a good woman for stepping up when your sibling couldn't. A child's life is on the line, and if your husband is too selfish to see that, then that's his problem, and you don't want that kind of man being the father firgure for your new son. A boy is raised by the hand of his mother, but by the thoughts of his father. You are not wrong, he is. If he wants to go, let him go. What good would it do keeping him anyway? Do you want to go on appeasing him? And what if he is not lying? What if it's not the baby, and he ends up leaving anyway? Don't throw your compassion out the window. Your husband is fully capable of taking care of himself, but a baby needs someone to care for every single detail. Please, be a mother to this child. It's much better he be with you than with a stranger. I applaud you for taking charge of the situation by the way, and shame on your sibling.
2007-07-10 16:05:09 · answer #4 · answered by ShoeGal 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Try to work things out with your husband, but KEEP the baby! If your husband wants to divorce you just becase you want to have a child in the home (which obviously is the reason if he never mentioned it before he/she came into the house) then that is his problem! He must not diserve you! You can try your absolute best to get him back if he means that muc to you, but don't give up the baby for him. Hope I could help!
2007-07-10 16:06:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
woe, woe woe!!!! what is the real reason for him wanting a divorce??? if you don't adopt the baby, who's going to take care of it? how long have you been with your husband? and last but not least, would you even want to try to work it out with someone who refuses to stand by you for something that you feel passionate about?
if your heart is telling you to adopt this child, don't second guess yourself. it's God talking to you.
2007-07-10 16:18:59 · answer #6 · answered by just me 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hell no it's not wrong of you to save the life and welfare of a defenseless baby!!!! He can't take care of himself, and has no way of defending his life.
If in fact your husband is divorcing you because of the baby, it just shows you what kind of selfish a**hole he really is, and I'm sure you'd want to know that now rather than after you had kids together. Save your nephew and forget about that jerk.
Good for you for stepping up to the plate and being a grown up!
2007-07-10 16:06:23 · answer #7 · answered by Candi is Dandy 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
So if he says it has nothing to do with the baby, then what does it have to do with?
Seems like you need to have a lot more discussions.
If he still wants a divorce, adopt the baby anyway all by yourself!
2007-07-10 16:04:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he might be jealous of the baby....or maybe he is just plain scared of the parenting. Either way to want a divorce because of this is quite drastic and to be honest ....the cowards way out. Good luck with you and your baby.
2007-07-10 16:07:45 · answer #9 · answered by rolo 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
A life of a child is more important than a relationship. He sounds like a very selfish person. The child needs you more than he does. You'll find an awesome daddy for the little boy.
2007-07-10 16:05:25 · answer #10 · answered by Donnie 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Leave him...take the baby raise him as your own and get rid of your husband if he says those things...
2007-07-10 16:27:48 · answer #11 · answered by Workinmamma 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋