Can men be attracted to women who are smarter than them? Why or why not?

Question

Another poster thought women could only be attracted to men who are smarter than them. So I was wondering if men can be attracted to women who are smarter than them? Why or why not?

Answer 1

There was an anthropological study that showed that the IQs of husbands and wives was more highly correlated than that between parent and child, or between siblings.

This indicates that there IS sexual selection (on both sides) for intellligence, and that people generally choose partners with very similar IQs.

It makes sense - it's easier to talk to someone who is on the same level.

Answer 2

I beleive that everyone is smart in their own individual areas. Some people just have a hard time admitting that they do not know everything. I think my husband just does not like to feel intimidated by anyone. He is always right. No matter what. Even if he finds out later that he was not correct, he finds some way to go around that, that still backs up his answer as "also" in a way being correct. Not all men are like that, though, at all. I do agree that it takes more of a person to admit that they are wrong sometimes, and that in reality we are all learning from each other. That goes for men and women alike. No one should be made to feel less intelligent just for the sake of someone else's ego. The best relationships are the ones where both people are learning from each other, and growing together. :)

I'm wandering where you are seeing these posters!

Answer 3

I'd imagine that there are hundreds, even thousands, of couples where the wife has a higher IQ than the husband. But does that particularly mean that she's smarter? I don't think so. Just because she might know the numerical value of pi doesn't mean she would know how to build a house or fix the engine on a car. My mother was a college grad and my dad didn't get past 4th grade but they were happy together and combined their skills to get things done. Not to mention, any woman that is smarter than a man she is attracted to should be smart enough to find a way to make him see past their differences and look at the whole picture.

Answer 4

First we have to define 'smart'.

Is it purely academic?
Is it an understanding of life?

I would have to answer your question as yes.
People are individuals.
Not only is 'smartness' ambiguous, but everyone can be looking for different things in a relationship.

If you create a definition of 'smartness' which is definable, I have no doubt that you will find a person of the opposite sex, of which upon using the same scale makes them 'smarter' and yet can still be attracted to the 'less smart' person.

I personally dislike the use of the term 'smarter'. Smarter how? Is it a means to insult someone?

Answer 5

Sure they can. Men like to be thought of as being smarter than women. Before women began to work out of the home, they would just play dumb and let the men think this.

Women, sometimes, were not business smart but knew all about "home things". Men worked out in the world and learned things the women didn't know......until the women started moving out into the business world.

Some men don't want their wives to make more money than they do.

A smart man will accept that a woman is smarter than him and enjoy the benefits of her money that she is bringing in.
Some men are not that smart. :-) Pops

Answer 6

I would hope that both men and women seek in their partners things that go beyond the physical; if they don't, they'll be awfully disappointed in a few years when the physical is no longer what it was. I agree with everyone who is discussing measuring intelligence--what does it mean, exactly? Lots of letters behind their names? Much of the time that means nothing. I would also hope that women aren't asking for resumes or IQ tests to validate intelligence. Quiet confidence in one's self allows for men and women--regardless of the supposed intelligence level of either party--to see something beyond anything quantifiable like IQ. I think most people are looking for equality, not superiority or inferiority that can be "lorded over" the ones we claim to love. I have to say that stupidity in anyone turns me off, and a stupid guy would only have to say one sentence for me to start looking elsewhere. I do not associate with stupid people (unless I have to--like at work) whether they're male or female. If a man finds me too intelligent, clearly he is not the one for me. Men who find women's intelligence threatening are simply insecure, and the last thing I want is an insecure partner.

Answer 7

What do you mean by smart? High IQ or just being curious about the world? I can understand ANY reasonable person not being interested in someone who cares more about self-image than about learning. But I cannot understand any reasonable person caring about the IQ of their mate.

Then again we're talking about reasonable people.... and there aren't too many of those around. There are a LOT of irrational and self-absorbed men with self esteem issues who would feel inferior if a woman was smarter than them. But these are the basket-cases....

Answer 8

Smart is a relative term. I typically find I am smarter than most women when it comes to science and math, the women are typically smarter when it comes to relationships and talking. To really get me going, the woman must appreciate what I bring to the relationship besides my brains...and my wheelchair! LOL

Answer 9

I think it takes a strong man to be attracted to a woman who is obviously smarter than him. However, I think there are a great number of men who are looking for intelligent partners, and aren't put off by it at all. Generally, I would guess that smart guys sometimes like smart girls, if they're pretty secure.

I still agree with Erica Jong - You often see smart guys with dumb girls but you never seem to see smart girls with dumb guys.

I'll leave that to everyone else to interpret.

Answer 10

See, this opens the whole debate on what intelligence is. I maybe IQ smarter than my partner, but his emotional intelligence, creativity and practical intelligence is far, far greater than mine. So, basically it works both ways.

I think if you had someone higher in all types of intelligence than another, they'd have a hard job of making the relationship work - the whole 'out of his/her league' arguement.

I find the differences in our intelligences makes us work really well together and balances our relationship out . . .