do you believe in staying with someone you don't love ...?

Question

for the chidrens sake ?

jimmy parkero6 when someone cheats on you 3 times , once when i was pregnant isn't thet reason enough ,he drained all the love from me years ago ,

Answer 1

NO!!
if you are staying for the children sake it is the children who will be the ones that suffer the most.
What is best for any child is to be in a loving home with both parents, but if that is not possible then to be with one parent and they are apart. If you and the other parent can be civil to each other, living apart will bring a better understanding of respect, love and friendship to your children.
You don't want your children staying in a relationship with someone they didn't love.
Using the children is an excuse for not standing out on your own.
My mother stayed with my father for our sake, while he beat her and us, she was telling us "it's for the best of your well being". It took 14 years for her to leave, I had to grow up thinking that love and marriage was being beat all of the time.
Let your children know that you can still have a relationship with someone and be civil but not love them. And let them know that even though you don't love the other parent, you still love them.
good luck

Answer 2

No! That is the worst thing you can do for the children. Staying with someone you do not love is just going to teach your children how NOT to have a relationship. You might try marriage counseling to see if you can re-spark that love, but if that is not a possibility or it does not work, then the best thing you can do for the children is to show them that things don't always work out and that you sometimes have to move on. You can still act civil toward one another. You can still be a grown up. You can go out and find love after your marriage ends. Life is full of options and decisions that are difficult. Making the right ones is a great lesson for your children. That is what is best for them.

Answer 3

No. If you are miserable with your spouse, it will most likely rub off on the children too. I have heard about rare situations where people have done just that and actually gotten a divorce when the kids were out of school. But from what I have seen through a personal experience with my brother-in-law and his family, it actually makes the situation worse.

Answer 4

what do you imagine love is, anyway? a high-voltage drama? a never-ending ride into the sunset? like most other emotions love is a mix of so many sentiments and psychological needs. what we imagine to be love may be no more than infatuation which either matures like old wine or withers away like an old rose. if it matures like old wine it gives comfort and shared responsibilities. it never, ever-i imagine- remains the passions of our younger years-our yesterdays. If you value yourself more than anything else you will surely like to break away from a loveless union. if you care more for the kids you may like to stick it out and find the togetherness no longer inflames passions but provides you with something more substantial-joy of building a home and a few lives (of the children among others). I would say- A Resounding YES!! I know, believe me that desertions hurt and scar as much as sticking together might, but it is worth it..! There is nothing out there other than an open wasteland. You must weigh all options seriously before you give in to the temptation of living only for yourself.

Answer 5

No
The children will see the problem, and will probably see how you are treating each other.

I have seen this on both sides:
My mom and dad got divorced
My mom re-married and they had many many problems and stayed together for about 8 years too long, and it got to where almost daily their were fights in the house.
Terrible outcome.

Answer 6

Absolutely not. There is nothing worse for a child then to be raised by two people that don't love each other. Would you want that for your own child? Or would you want to be in a relationship that shows them how 2 loving people should treat each other and love each other? Kids learn how to love from us. Don't cheat them.

Answer 7

Realistically, I think that more women stay with men for their own sake (lack of financial resources) than they do for their children's sake. Let me give you an example that you can ask others. If you had a million dollars right now, would you be with your hubby? See what I mean....has nothing to do with the kids.

Answer 8

Yes. More specifically, however, I believe in falling back in love. If I didn't love my wife anymore, I would suspect there might be something I'm doing wrong, such as not spending enough time with her, or not having sex with her often enough. I would try to improve my marriage and rekindle my feelings for her by changing my own shortcomings. Marriage should be forever, I believe; you don't give up on it for a temporary situation like not being in love.

Answer 9

Absolutely not. Look at it this way, if you are not happy, you cannot expect your children to be happy. They will be happy when you are. When there is stress in the household, the children sense it more than you think and are stressed as well. No one should do that to their children. It is actaully hurting them, not helping them.

Answer 10

Yes. Staying with someone you don’t love for “the children’s sake” is generally a good idea, but there are times when it isn’t. You have to ask yourself if they are happy and being raised properly. It is easier for you to adapt to a non-love situation than for them to adapt to a single parent situation. They did not ask to come into the world. However, if they are not happy and would be better off with a single parent then you have to consider this. The last thing to consider if you leave is who gets the kids? If there is any risk that the Court might award custody to the one that is causing them unhappiness, then should that be risked? Been there, done that!