ok toms exwife is a wonderfull/involved mom to thier only child who is 8 yrs old.She is still single and relies on my hus for advice/support regarding thier son who is her life.I know she is not happy about me being the "new wife" as she sees me in "her place".My question is i don't want to make trouble with her so what can i do or don't do to avoid conflict with her?What does your exhusbands new wife do that pisses you off regarding your kids?
2007-07-10 06:26:31 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My ex-husband's wife pisses me off because she gets overinvolved. When my daughter was 14, she encouraged her to date a gang member, then tried to compete with me on giving my daughter advice since she's a so-called teen counselor.
I had to remove my daughter from all contact with my ex to get her away from this woman. Yet, at my daughter's college graduation (with honors, from an Ivy League school that I paid for, by myself) she tried to set up a photo with her, my daughter and my ex!
Don't try to be a 'mommy' to your ex's son. You have a place--it is as his wife, but not the child's mother. Be kind, but a little distant, like a friend's mom for overnight stays or something, and refer him to his parents for decisions and heart-to-heart talks.
2007-07-10 06:34:40 · answer #1 · answered by nora22000 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There's not a good gosh darned thing you can say to make someone understand that you're not trying to replace them.
I'm in a similar situation - there are 4 kids (we've got custody of all 4) ages 11 to 21 and so I started with them and told them I'm not trying to take their mom's place. They have a mom and no one needs more than one of those! So far so good - it's not Eden, but who's house is?
- When the ex and I have been in our house together like for a kids party, I try to include her in things like - lighting the candles on the cake or small things like that.
Good luck! It's hard, but worth the good relationships all around!
2007-07-10 06:50:17 · answer #2 · answered by Durga sings the classics 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was one of the kids in the middle of all that. My mom never got along with the stepmoms and my dad never got along with the stepdads. Yes, my parents have married alot. All the fighting was about us kids and what the other parent would let us do or not do. They never got along at all so there was constant conflict. So my advice to you would be if you and Tom are trying to make a decision on his kid make sure you go to his exwife before you make a final decision. Just include her in everything with their kid. Let her know everything and make sure she approves then she will give in and tell you that you dont need to go to her for everything. She'll see that she can trust you and maybe be friends with her. Be patient as much as possible too. Hope I helped you out. Good Luck
2007-07-10 06:38:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have been there. I just don't deal with her. I deal with my ex. It has been 17 years and the woman and I have never said a cross word to each other. I deal with her a an acquaintance and nothing less, nothing more. Problem solved.
2007-07-10 06:31:33 · answer #4 · answered by bluebird 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her and explain what you have just written here, that you want to support her and your husband in bringing up the child, and you want to ensure you back up her rules as a mom. I am sure she will be happy and reassured that you want the best for her child. Talk to your husband first, and then speak to her she mustn't be all that bad!
Good luck
2007-07-10 06:30:11 · answer #5 · answered by Mama~peapod 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋