the relationship:
as your words pierce through my heart
i weep one tear of sorrow
for that is all i have left for today
im sure there will be more tomorrow
you hurt me so bad
i didnt understand
why did you leave me
what about the first time you touched my hand
im over you know
i cant cry anymore
for the people who make you hurt
are not worth the sore
he treats me better
than you ever would
i dont play these games
no girl ever should
you want me back
i wont give you a chance
i wont leave him for you
thats not the way love does her dance
get over yourself
i will not change my mind
for i have decided
a new girl you must find
by audrey o
2007-07-10 06:17:36 · 6 answers · asked by Audrey♥ 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
the story behind the poem is i was going out with this one guy called michael and he dumped me for his ex. and then eventually i moved on to my current bf zach. now michael wants me back...
2007-07-10 06:18:31 · update #1
Sounds to me like you still haven't gotten over him. When people move on, they simply move on without creating a poem for that person.
2007-07-10 06:26:08 · answer #1 · answered by ★Banäna . Nightmärẹ★™ 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Actually, Audrey, your poem is quite good. I'd change the last line though...perhaps, "your heart's the hurtin kind" or "his heart is far more kind", something like that. "A new girl you must find" may say what you mean, but it's too awkward.
Meanwhile, some advice: once you "break up" with someone, get used to putting them behind you. If you don't, you'll get used to going "back" with your "ex" and carry that bad habit with you the rest of your life...which will be filled with drama and sad stories. Make sure you "mean it" when you break up with someone, or if they break up with you, make sure they know it's a one time deal and that there's no going back. If you learn to do this now, you'll never be the subject of a song about a girl who kept making the same mistakes with the same guys. Let someone else be the inspiration for that :)
2007-07-14 01:54:33 · answer #2 · answered by Kevin S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a good poem. I could feel the hurt. That is what is important with any type of writing...You have to make the audience FEEL what you were feeling.
2007-07-10 13:36:54 · answer #3 · answered by Meg...Out of Hybernation 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow. Sounds deep, really deep. Good job!!! Keep writing and don't let any other boys hurt you again!
2007-07-10 13:29:57 · answer #4 · answered by *luna's lover* 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
thats awsum, you should make it a song, if you play any instruments make a cool song cuz those r awsum lyrics.
2007-07-10 13:27:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's nice. Kind of says it all.
2007-07-10 13:25:51 · answer #6 · answered by LadyG 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋