Should we still be friends (advice pls!)?

Question

we both agreed after out short fling or (short-term) of 4 months that we want nothing more then that. but i guess i ate my words too soon. she got ahold on me & she knows it..cause at some point we literally love our company together in whatever we do..but now that she is living away for college & i just recently moved out to new town to start my future at. the thing is she still considers me as a good friend & nothing more. which is like telling me there is this hope. she is also really diffrent from the other females ive dated, always full of smiles. as an adult being on our 20's i respect that we cant cuddle like we use to & stuff which i miss..But deep inside i really cant get over it, & i know ill have to at some point.. time to time she tells me that she even turned other dates down cause shes not ready..hopefully i wish that my feelings will fade away fast & be as mutual as her.. what should i do? is there anyway i can get thru? should we still k.i.t? help pls its killing me!

also she lives closer to my area since i moved outta my home-town. her college & place is like few hours away...and earlier she called me that wants to go out to the clubs & bar since she recently turned 21.. arrgh its like im playing cat & mouse with her..

Answer 1

And as long as you guys only see being a lover as being one way your going to keep play this friends/lover game and just twist'n both of your hearts. Realize the sad fact is that we don't move on from relationships, they don't just end. We need to get to a point were we can let go, unfortunely were forced into a situation were we can't let go till we've found someone who we can feel as good or better with, selling for less is HARD! But that aside what your both dealing with is the same as everyone else, you don't understand human relationship nor the nature of human bonds. See you guys love each other, FRIENDS DO THAT!!!!!!! The only thing that really seperates a lover from a best friend is...... NOT A DAMN FING THING!!!!! I'm sorry its true, we become best friends to our same sex friends and then we become lovers with are opposite friends its a natural thing. The problem comes from the fact that we can have BEST FRIEND male friends that we have no sexual attractivness to and not share the same life. But when we become opposite sex best friends for some stupid reason we get jeaouly, they have to be in our lives everyday, we put a double standard on it. This creates your above problem, see your still best friends/lovers but your both are doing everything you can not to see that, not to respect that, not to cherish THAT! It doesn't matter that you guys couldn't make a family or whatever you were trying to make for those 4 months, what matter is what you did accomplish. YOU GUYS BECAME THAT CLOSE! You became lovers, friends, you made a us. And you can't destroy that by just saying, well now were friends. Its a stupid idea that some after-school special made up, but the fact is the human heart doesn't feel that way. I mean isn't that the way you feel that she is still your lady, your friend, your lover? The only thing that has changed is now your both dening it..... only thing you can do is be honest, let her know that no matter what you lover her for her and as long as that doesn't change you'll always be there for her, you'll always care, doesn't mean you give up on you and your future that she didn't what to be apart of but understand the only thing thats yours in this world, that you controlle, that means anything, is your history. And with this one seems you have some good history, or you going to let go of that? Sometimes brother we have to step up and be adults and tell people how it is, let her know that this friends bs is a crock, its a cope-out, it is denial. Now if she doesn't see a future with you thats one thing in its self, it doesn't mean she has to try and love you less..... but trust me this goes on and on, but the fact remains the only thing that destroies relationships is our inability to except just what they really are and how darn intense, important, and wonderful they really are. No reason to throw that away, just because "I don't know"...... So in other words, darnit, LOVE EACH OTHER!!!!!!! It doesn't mean MARRIAGE, tell her that. It just means THAT LOVE EACH OTHER, feel for each other, care, if its TRUE, then all you care about is peace and happiness for each other, trust me its hard, but if you can do that just be good friends/lovers and not think its about being husban/wife then you'll learn what it is I'm trying to teach you, good luck this stuff runs deep...

Answer 2

Hi- Wow- If only more men were more like you- Sounds to me like you need closure. I would advice that you take time, not in a noisy bar, but, in a neutral place (quiet)- where the 2 of you could talk about this issue. CLOSURE is a BIG thing and a DIFFICULT thing to conqueror!! Believe it or not, even @ my age of 46, I have not received the proper closure I needed with a man who I had an 8 year relationship with...... I still wonder- WHAT IF.....I still need CLOSURE! It sounds like the 2 of you still have feelings for each other- It appears that you do not live far from each other. I can truly understand ur aching heart over this special lady- Please, don't be like me...TAKE THE CHANCE- TALK TO HER- See if there is still a future b4 u. You sound like a very extroidinary young caring guy. This may be the ONE- UR SOULMATE- as u stated you enjoy being together and are very happy when together. College does not last forever- The years go quickly, although, they feel so LONG @ this point in ur lives. Talk to her- Get on the same page re: ur potential future- Otherwise, you are going to wonder the rest of ur life if you let "THE ONE" get away! Believe me, I am still kicking myself for taking "NON ACTION" on the guy I still have strong feelings for....It is HARD, but, hope this helped you out. GOOD LUCK TO YOU!!!

Answer 3

Hello, dear friend, as you can see, when you are dealing with this girl that you mentioned in your question, you have to look very carefully everything that she's done with you. As to my personal opinion, there are quite a few factors that girl might be falling in love with you. As you can see, she talks to you more often to any other of her friends; she has chosen a place to live that's close to yours; and last of all, she has turned down the other dates saying that she's not ready. As you can see, all of these are very clear signals that she's sending you. Why haven't you got it ?

Answer 4

sge may just want to be friends!
nothing more!
nothing less!
do not read anything into it!
you do!
you are leading your self on!
not good!

Answer 5

Well you should still be friends after a few months ask her other than that IDK