is it bad to have 2 kids to different dads?

Question

ok i have a 1 1/2 year old little girl to my ex fiance who i was with for 4 years and now im 7 months pregnant to a guy who wants nothing to do with me now?? does it make me a bad person to have these 2 children with diff last names and no daddys around??

Answer 1

Hold your head up!

People make the wrong choices sometimes. That doesn't make you a bad person. As long as your being responsible and taking care of your children to the best of your ability then don't worry about what others think.

Your children are going to look to you for validation of who they are, if you show them that you feel bad because of how they got here......how will that make them feel.

Answer 2

This isn't bad. It isn't some conspiracy, like you attempted to make your kid have different fathers. I grew up without a father and many other people did too. The only way you could be a bad person is if you didn't show them as much love as possible.
Also, the different last names shouldn't be a huge problem. Trust me this will cause some akwardness, especially during school years because they'll say thats my sister with a different last name. It will get confusing.
Also be prepared for fighting, you can expectto here "you're not my realy sister...." trust me. This should not be excepted. Always remember that you are a family, no matter what you will depend on wachother and love eachother.
Remember, you're not a bad person, out of a mistake with a jerk, you are getting a beautiful new baby. All you can do is show them all of your love and everything will fall into place.

Good Luck, and congratulations on your child.

PS If your ex fiance isn't around anymore and doesn't even see your daughter, you may consider changing your daughters last name to yours, that way the children will have the same name.

Answer 3

Heavens no it's not horrible....I mean, it will make it harder for you because of the way society might view your lifestyle, but so long as you love and take care of your kids then nothing else really matters. Now, I wouldn't suggest that you keep adding to your family w/out a potential mate around that is a solid individual who is actually interested in having a large family and stick it out. If you don't see yourself wanting any more kids it might also not be a bad idea to see about having your tubes ties after having this baby. However, if there is a possibilty of wanting other children then make sure you use a reliable birth control method such as an IUD. Best of luck and take care.

Answer 4

I have been there. I am there. I have four beautiful children with three different dads. I was in a relationship with all of the dads, but the previous two just werent to be. You are not a bad person, because if you were than i would be a monster. I love my kids and they are the best thing that has happened to me. I wouldnt change it for the world. Everything happens for a reason, you just have to discover what that reason is. Good luck and you can make it through this. I did and I am now happily married and my children love their step dad.

Answer 5

I am a parent of five. Four children I had with my ex and the last with my husband. I have a hard time getting people to call me by the correct last name because my older children have a different last name. It is all how you handle the situation. If you over react to the situation when someone wants to talk about it or makes a rude comment, then your children feel the reaction. I simply state that I am glad I met my husband. He isn't a jerk like my ex.

People are going to talk no matter what. Be the adult and learn to ignore people who have nothing better to do than talk.

Answer 6

Not at all. I have two children with someone and it didnt work out, now I am in a relationship and we are talking about having a child (10 years later). so I will be in the same boat. I also have a sister and brother that have a different dad then I do. There is nothing wrong with it. As long as you find a way to be happy you will be ok. do not let people judge you. if they do, leave them out of your life. theres no room for that.

Answer 7

WELLL

Here's what it says your making bad decisions. period
Sweetheart I'll tell you like I told my own girls both of which were in your situation.

Once you have kids every decision you make should be how will this effect my kids in a good or bad way.

You need to take care of you and yours. period

Finish that education so you don't need any ones help. Make both Fathers pay. You should consider some sort of birth control.

As you see all these thing will affect your kids in a positive way. And don't worry about needing a man, you don't need anyone, but yourself, and the guts you have inside.

Hope this helps

Answer 8

Yes, it does make you a bad person. You need to learn how to keep your legs closed or take some form of birth control. I know I would not mess with no girl with 2 different baby daddys

Answer 9

You are not a bad person. My mom I think had a lot more of a problem. She had my sister Lisa to one man then Michael to the same came to my dad had me then went back to the other guy and had Samantha then came back to my dad to have Matthew. When I was old enough to realize this I was disgusted but I forgave her. You are doing good by your kids no matter what. Give them your maiden name if anything.

Answer 10

It doesn't make you a bad person. But you are making some poor choices and your babies are going to learn from them. Try to spend some time alone growing and developing yourself as a person. Read TD Jakes Reposition Yourself. It's a good book for thinking bigger about how you want to live your life and what you want to do with the rest of your life.