I caught my wife cheating on me and she also came clean with everything, after everything that has happened we've come to a conclusion to stay together and work it out. She promised to change all her ways and to do everything to gain my trust back. I've noticed that she is trying really hard the past 3-4 weeks and she's slowly gaining her trust back though i'm still very unsecure. I checked her website history the other day and i saw that she was looking for indianapolis colts merchandise and it looked like she was looking for a gift to give to somebody and she was also looking for beer merchandise. The guy that she cheated with is from Indiana and she is looking or searching for Indianapolis Colts merchandise and I just have this gut feeling that she isnt over with him yet and that they are still contacting each other. I dont know what to do or think...Am i able to trust her again or are these more signs that she isnt being truthful to me, i'm not sure if that colts stuff
2007-07-10
05:15:07
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19 answers
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asked by
Jan R
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in
Family & Relationships
➔ Marriage & Divorce
i dont know if that colts stuff she was looking for in the internet is for him, i'm just assuming its for him because he is from indiana but i could be wrong, i'm just so confused and i need help please....
2007-07-10
05:16:14 ·
update #1
also on myspace.com she still visits his website or someone who is related to him which makes me feel unsecure.
2007-07-10
05:20:46 ·
update #2
I say confront her w/ your findings. if she get all bent out of shape about it, she was up to no good. she can't play the trust card because she's already betrayed that. if you're gonna try to make it work, try some counseling. get real though, why else would she be looking at that stuff, it's no coincidence, which means she's not serious about making your marriage work. my motto. once a cheat, always a cheat. cut your losses now before the situation gets worse. If she truly loved you, she never would have strayed.
2007-07-10 05:29:06
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answer #1
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answered by sammie 5
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do you like the colts? ya, didn't think so. obviously she's still in contact with him. she may be trying really hard to gain your trust back or she just could be acting out with a little more caution. look, people cheat because there's usually something missing from the relationship. if you're going to stay with her (which i believe is a mistake) then you should have a serious conversations with her and ask her what's changed and if there is something she's not getting out of the marriage. and just know that the trust will take a long time and there will always be a doubt in the back of your mind. when she's with you, you'll wonder if she's thinking of him. and when she's not with you, you'll wonder if she's with him & even thinking of you. good luck, hope it works out for you!
2007-07-10 12:27:51
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answer #2
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answered by luv 3
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I may not be an expert in marriage, but i have been through three divorces between my parents. My father's wife cheated on him and he took her back, however it wasn't over and it took her being caught by me and my older brother to prove to my dad that she wasn't right for him. i think that the best way to deal with this is to talk to your wife, tell her how you are feeling and try to resolve the situation. Can you live with the lack of trust in your relationship? or would it be better to just let her go for your own self? I would say if you have children, try to work it out, emphasize to her that you have a family and are willing to forgive her. Try to figure out why she strayed in the first place and maybe that will give you both a better understanding of what went wrong. Good luck...+
2007-07-10 12:33:39
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answer #3
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answered by Gonzo's Wifey 3
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Are you from Indiana??? That says it all. Once cheated on, it's hard to build back the trust, but in your case, I don't think you'll ever get it back. Sounds like she" wants her cake, and to eat it too!" Call her on her bluff and see what happens. Even if there is not any physical contact between them, she's still not over him if she's keeping any kind of contact with him. She's thinking about gifts for him, NOT YOU!!! Who else could they be for? Make sure you are correct on your assumptions and then confront her with it. That's the only way to get at the truth. Good luck!!
2007-07-10 12:31:13
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answer #4
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answered by Needtoknow 5
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well...
are you into the colts? is your wife?
if your answer to both is No, then she's looking for somebody else.
Do you drink beer? or your wife?
again, if both of you don't drink much beer, I think you are right on with the gift thing.
Follow the money...she has to pay for those gifts somehow, and there will be a charge on a credit or debit card.
I suspect neither of you are big colt fans or you wouldn't have asked this question, so I'm afraid that you may be right...
Would she think it appropriate to send him a birthday gift even though it is over between them? possibly...but doing so is still feeding that romance, bad move on her part.
2007-07-10 12:37:57
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answer #5
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answered by Anonymous
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Definitely listen to Kitten and also consider talking to your wife about what you found. If this is going to be a trusting relationship you have to let her know you found this on the computer. If she gets upset and makes up excuses then it really means that she's still in contact with the other person. Especially if she gets upset over you finding this on the computer. If she turns it around on you, state that you're trying to regain her trust and by you finding this makes you very unsure about her attempts to alleviate you from all the heartache. Definitely talk to your wife and then seek counseling. I really wish you all the best. :)
2007-07-10 12:27:24
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answer #6
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answered by Devika P 3
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It's only been a few weeks, so certainly you don't trust her again. especially if you're checking her internet history and sluething around like sherlock holmes. You need to decide if you want to live like this. Don't you deserve to be loved completely? Don't you deserve to be respected in a relationship? You guys may decide you want to work on your marriage, but I think you need to do it with some space and some additional assistance. You need to go somewhere safe. The way you are living now, wondering and checking behind her all the time is not healthy and you deserve a better, less abusive way of living.
2007-07-10 12:27:13
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answer #7
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answered by shellylori 3
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Go with your gut. You know her better than we do. If you really cannot trust her again and really have your doubts, then maybe it would be best that you guys split for awhile. If then, she continues to see others, then going back into the relationship would be bad. If there is any doubt in your mind, then act on it. You could be wrong, but then again you could be right about her continuous contact with this man. Because she has cheated on you, do you think that this could just be something YOU see rather than what really is? Good luck to you. I wish you the best.
2007-07-10 12:24:59
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answer #8
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answered by Mastershake 4
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Once the trust has been broken, it's hard trying to get it back from the person who broke it...Give it some time...You regaining her trust again will not happen over night, but with time...
Apparently, the line of communication is lost between you and your wife...If you are that curious about her activities on the net, just ask her
2007-07-10 12:23:06
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answer #9
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answered by plumprump26 4
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You need to confront her again. Big time this time. My husband internet cheated and then got past it. The second time he went back to it, I caught him and sht really hit the fan that time. We have been doing really great ever since and trust has not been an issue. We both consider it history.
2007-07-10 13:20:25
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answer #10
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answered by I39 5
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