why can't i stop thinking of her?

Question

she's stuck in my mind. My ex best friend who made me feel worthless with her lies and actions. like i meant less to her then some new bf that she slept around with for 3 months before she left for the other side of the country. she treated me really badly and threw it all back in my face when i confronted her about it as if it was all my fault. I told her we were no longer friends and will never see her ever again. But i'm stuck, i keep thinking of the crap that she put me through and how i felt like she traded our friendship for a 3 month fling. And how much of a horrible person she turned out to be. but it's all getting too much, i just want to forget about her and move on with my life. but i think of her everyday. even though i don't want to and am happy and relived that i'll never see her again. i did care for her deeply once, perhaps a little too much. but that's all been burned to ash and none of what happened means anything. and yet it's still there.

Answer 1

Sweetie, you are thinking of her because she meant a lot to you and you still cant get over what she did to you. Dont sweat it though, you're going to meet a great friend and realize how much they are there for you and how much she wasnt. The same thing happen to me last year and i admit....getting over it took me a very long while but one day...(as i was making a sandwich..haha) i was thinking about it and it really just hit me....and i felt so much better! i think it was because i was making so many new friends at the time something jsut went off in my head and i realized that we had fun when we had fun...and that was it. i realized how happy i was now and i didnt regret being friends with that person because they made me laugh and gave me many lessons that i learned from. Dont worry...for now it may hurt but after you will be SO MUCH HAPPIER...TRUST ME!!

Answer 2

Honestly, yes..it takes tiimmme. Too much time, and too many memories (even the bad ones) to completely forget, or at least not feel for someone who was important, yet treated you badly at the time. This has happened to plenty of people many times, including myself. My ex was "unfaithful" to me when he was drunk out of town working, and even after we tried to work through it, i kept bringing it up and we ended up spliting up. Months later he'd still call me late at nights, and eventually we tried hanging out and seeing where things go. What i learned in the couple months that we were trying again was that i didnt completely miss HIM. I missed the "fantasy" idea of how nice it was to have him before the fact of the matter. This is just a life lesson for you. You said you cared deeply for her, and perhaps too much. Just you saying that shows that people no matter what they say or do, can always hurt. Maybe you keep thinking of her also because you didnt get the complete "closing" of the friendship. Did you guys date? or just friends? and why was her with someone for 3 mths a bother if you two were only friends? Your question is a little confusing, but either way, you seem to be struggling to forget about the past you had shared with someone. So let me tell you this..you'll NEVER forget. That's life. You'll go from pain and confusion, to i'm glad it's over, i'll never see her..to why do i still feel this way? And eventually a memory. But you wont forget people who impacted your life (good or bad) you'll just have to see things differently and take this situation and turn it into something you can use for the future. Meaning, next time you'll learn to understand people and to not let others get to you. It's called strength..and sadly enough, people that you could know your entire life do change.

Answer 3

for starters very deep, but the question you should be asking yourself is, "am i really happy and relived that i will never see her again? or am i lying to myself , and forcing myself to believe that lie?" in other words maybe you're not over her, u said it yourself u cared about her deeply once. and from what i read u seem to be the type that if she was to get hurt someday and u were the only one she can turn to, u would be there for her despite the wound she had the privilege to leave. because years of friendship cannot be taken away because of some guy. that guy will pass and leave her god knows where, how about you? so you know what? you still care about her. don't try to erase the good. forget about the bad. just let her know u will always be there for her because you love her more that any bf can. (as a friend of course :) because what she did to you killed you, but u care 2 much about her to kick her out of your life. and she will soon see that.

Answer 4

I know igzactly how you feel. I'm pretty much in the same situation. And the reason we can't stop thinking about our friend is becasue we care about them way to much and now realising that they don't care about us, its like a smack in the face and we want so much to save our relationsips but we can't. It sux when you care so much about somebody and they don't care back. The problem is that we are living in the past, and we need to leave the past behind and moe forward, which is a really really hard thing to do. Its like you wish you could just forget and not care but you cant. Its so hard but you will meet someone new who will treat you a million times better, and when you find that person, things will get better. And by the time your former 'friend' figures out what a great person she had i will be to late. Your to good for her anyway. Its hard, but try to move on. Best wishes.

Answer 5

Deep in your heart, you still like her! You still don't want to finish such relationship with her! You still don't want to let her go!
It is just like sth that you own for some time and long enough to establish special relationship with it. When the situation is changed and the thing which you originally owned suddenly goes away, you will not want to let it go! It is the same theory!
Think it over! If you think you still have chance and it is possible to get her back, then do it! Otherwise, just put her down and do sth else to occupy yr time. Don't just sit and give yourself so much spare time to think about her. Go out to take a movie, have a play with other friends, take some courses, do some exercise, play your hobbies...and maybe you will meet your another ANGEL in some occassions.
DON'T GIVE UP THE WHOLE FOREST JUST FOR ONE TREE!

Answer 6

It hurts I'm sure but she probly did it for some sort of a reason but it is a realy B*tchy thing to do you will find some one else and hopefuly she will get a life too but it is best to just move on it is really good that you are willing to face the fact that it hurt you though that's the first step if you need some one to talk to you can Im me or send me an E-mail.

I wish you the best of luck

Answer 7

as soon as upon a time there used to be this man who used to be so effective to me, he could as good were an angel who fell instantly from the sky - an angel with a 5 inch tall mohawk and a quality smile despatched to make me chortle, instruct me to calm down, and allow me recognize that i'm cherished....i used to be most effective in a position to be with him for a little while, then he joined the military and that i on no account even received to mention good-bye :( i suppose approximately him everyday and wish that he is ok however i do know he most commonly is ok, due to the fact finally he's an angel...

Answer 8

you need closure and not in the way that it was done before you two need to sit down and you really need to tell her that she has hurt you badly you may feel like you didn't quite say everything on your mind concerning her before she left this needs to be done before you can fully move on even if you do find you've moved on and haven't done this you will come back to the situation on down the road and then what you will have to search for her and who's to say what you'll find--do this not for her but for yourself also you do need to forgive her don't forget but forgive it takes more energy to be mad i'm not saying by any means be friends with her again just forgive and walk back out of her life then it's her that has to suffer with what she did to you--I'm sorry for the pain you have to now indure been there do that today but time will make it better good luck

Answer 9

Women like that aren't worthy of your thoughts. When she pops into your mind, replace her as quickly as possible with something or someone else. If you practice this enough, eventually you'll forget her altogether. Also, consider going out with other women. There are plenty of great ones out there, some of which I'm sure would enjoy your company and treat you well.

Answer 10

Your first step in healing is admitting you still love her. She rejected your love but that shouldn't make you deny your feelings. It will pass with your next love and you will be stronger.

Always be honest with your feelings to yourself and those around you...it doesn't take anything away from you and in the future, you will always have peace of mind knowing you were never less than honest.