What do Black women need from Black Men. And is it reasonable?

Question

It is a great idea that people expect great things from each other however, we must have expectations that regular humans can attain. Or do we?

Answer 1

I'm married to a vietnamese/german man and i'm black. But from previous experiences with several black men, I can suggest the following:

1. Stay loyal and monogomous and stop sniffing after every big azz you see on the streets.
2. Be honest and forthcoming and stop lying
3. Take responsibility for your own actions and stop blaming everyone else for your problems in life
4. Stop making babies with multiple women and leaving them to raise them
5. Stop glorifying negative stereotypes (thug, gangsta, grills, rims, bling, etc.)
6. Stop saying the N-word every five seconds and have some respect for yourself.
7. Stop dressing like you've a one way ticket to the penitentiary. Tucking in a shirt and wearing clothes that are actually your SIZE won't kill you....
8. Have more respect for your women and stop treating them like bytches, hoez and all the other crap the hip hop community portrays us as.

That would be a great start......

Answer 2

As a Black woman, I think it is pretty damn arrogant to assume that black women need something so specific from black men.Why? The black man is not a even a role model. The kids of the day want to listen to the music of the black that degrades and exploits women. I think that is one of the main reason that so many women start as single parents. To define a single parent is someone who has been married and is later divorced not someone that black man thought was good enough to lie down with for a few hours of a fun only to leave her like she has a disease.Most of them have no intention of settling down with one woman.The other married majority have made the idea acceptable in their minds that adultery is a quite alright. I think that black women should take a stand because if enough do they will have to conform. Due to my experience, I find that I am turned off by black men.Don't get me wrong I was born of a black man and a black woman, but face it times have changed. I think black men new to evaluate themselves because if they feel they are at their best all is lost.I think family values, morals and integrity are just the tip of the ice berg.


P.s I am not a male basher but the truth shines bright.

Answer 3

I think that some of the things I want and need are common for many black women:
1. Honesty. We are tired of having to guess "Is this brother on the down low? Can I have an intimate relationship with him and MARRY him without looking like a fool down the road?
2. Self confidence. It should be well-known by now that black women are resourceful creatures. We are extremely strong in our own right and that should not intimidate our black men, but sometimes it does. Our independence and self-reliance does not make you any less of a man. We still need you for who you are and we are totally willling to reciprocate everything you give us in the relationship. But don't hold back (feelings, sharing, emotions, dreams, affection etc.) because you think "Oh, she doesn't need me." That's not true. We do.
3. Stability. Baby Mama Drama is played out. Period. We don't want to have to put up with you paying child support to four different women - especially if *we* don't have any children of our own. Employment is a must. Moving around a lot is unacceptable unless it is for job purposes - moving up the corporate ladder, of course.
4. Communication. I think we desperately need to be able to talk to one another. So many men are silent participants in the relationship...and then when it comes down to a huge knock-down drag out fight, many bottled up emotions come out and ruin the relationship. Don't run to your mom or granny or your boys when something is wrong. Run to us. And we can talk about it.
5. Respect. This is a huge one. No woman appreciates being kept in the dark about things, lied to, cheated on, verbally or physically abused. All of those things will never happen if the man has a high level of respect for the woman in his life. We are not video hoochie-mamas (who are nameless, faceless and cheap), we are not objects. We're people.

That's really all I can think of. I hope that helps. I think it's reasonable. Do *you* think we set unrealistic standards for one another?

Answer 4

Excellent Question!!!

1. Love
2. Commitment
3. Understanding
4. Loyalty
5. Honesty

Answer 5

Black men need to be responsible for the babies they make. I am sure you will find that slightly attainable. Maybe not though.

Answer 6

Black women need respect. You'd think it wouldn't be hard to get but for some reason it is.

Answer 7

Thanks for the 2 points.