I spent a beautiful July 4th with my boyfriend. Being with him was the greatest! I wanted to just check my emails, so i used his computer to do so. I got a little noisy and checked his search box. I found out that he is on a personal site devoted to fat women. I thought it was odd. I let a few days pass. I confronted him. He said, "oh it is nothing.." But if it is nothing why is he on the site? right? and i know that he is not there just to merely chat??? i am very hurt and upset by this! very truly honestly madly upset. I think i should give him back his 2 carat ring that he gave me. (it is pretty, but maybe marrying him wouldn't be the right thing?) does he have more secrets i don't know about? He says he loves me, and shows me that more than i can imagine. But this personal site thing erks me? Hey, all the yahoo answers out there, what do you think of this? Maybe i am not seeing something clearly? I honestly don't know what to think anymore. We have been through so much. I love him!
2007-07-10 04:14:26 · 22 answers · asked by it@ly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Many men search on the internet, mostly because of curiousity. I think he was just checking it out. I wouldn't be concerned, especially if he treats you so well. When a man is cheating on you he always shows signs of not being interested in you. Sounds to me like he's a keeper. Don't throw it away just because he's been looking on a website, that's ridiculous. Good luck hun.
2007-07-10 04:29:40 · answer #1 · answered by Missy 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I wonder why you have the need to specify that it was a "fat"woman's site? What difference does it make whether or not it was "heavy" or skinny women? Trust me, if he was checking that site out, then he's into big women. And the comment that "crazysexycool' made about those "desperate" women was offensive. As if. I'm a big woman, always have been, but I bet I'm sexier than you both. I could turn the heads of both your men, especially yours since that's what he's into. You don't understand that "sexy" is a state of mind and how you carry yourself. You can be a size 2 (which nothing wants a bone but a dog) and be naked and not be sexy. But as for his hiding the site, don't worry about it. If he gave you a 2 carat ring and shows you all the time how he feels about you, then just let it go. It could be just a fantasy and we ALL have those.
2007-07-10 13:13:23 · answer #2 · answered by Brandy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let's see. You went snooping in his computer! You found out that he was looking at a personals web site. You did not see anything about him contacting any of the women. You have no reason to think he is cheating
You "spent a beautiful July 4th with my boyfriend. Being with him was the greatest". but still you decided to check up on him. I am sure that there are websites that you go to that he would not really approve of! If I was to check the history on your computer, I would bet that I can find something that could be taken as evidence that you have done something wrong, even if it was totally innocent!.
The fact that he wants to marry you says more than him looking at a web site. He may be looking for the entertainment value. Some of the personal ads I have seen are rather funny. He may have clicked a link by accident, and decided to look around!
You are the one with the problem. You went snooping in his computer. You do not trust him. You may want to give him back the ring, until you grow up!!!!
2007-07-10 11:30:12 · answer #3 · answered by fire4511 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You're right, it is something. An engaged man has NO business whatsoever on a personal chat site. Here's a little secret about men, honey -- they're not looking to make friends with random women with no benefits involved. The male brain doesn't work that way. Regardless, you should be his best friend.
Also, a beautiful ring is NO reason to stay engaged to a man who has an odd fetish for fat women that you clearly distrust right now.
Good luck to you.
2007-07-10 11:32:02 · answer #4 · answered by Yogi 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
No you better not give him that ring back. Did you meet him on a personal site??? If you didn't than he is just being bored and seeing what these desperate women are saying to him but if you did meet him on the web watch his computer and him closely.
2007-07-10 11:17:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
OK. Breathe! Just settle down. We all have fetishes. Some of us let them out of the bottle and others of us repress them. One of his fetishes is fat girls. Not mine but we shouldn't judge. I'd be willing to bet you have some fantasies that you've never shared with any guy but that really get you going. We all do.
You shouldn't have nosed around on his computer. He's entitled to his privacy and I strongly recommend you refrain from snooping again. If you don't trust him, don't marry him. Period.
I'd suggest that you calm down and then maybe talk to him after some outstanding sex. Just ask him what it is about fat girls that turns him on. Don't be threatened. Just try to make sure he can be happy with your body shape as it is over the long term. If not, the giving back the ring or putting on some weight makes sense. My guess is that he's never been with a fat girl but the fantasy turns him on.
Just talk to him but do so in a way that isn't confrontational. Show him that you can accept him the way he is and make sure he can do likewise.
2007-07-10 11:25:40 · answer #6 · answered by Net Rider 3 · 2⤊ 3⤋
He's probably just curious. I'm sure he's looked up a bunch of freaky things online it doesn't mean he's really into all of them.
I think you shouldn't be snooping on him like you did. I'm sure if your boyfriend looked on your computer he'd probably find stuff he objected too but that didn't mean anything to you.
Men are visual creatures, they look all the time, doesn't matter if us women like it or not, they'll still look.
2007-07-10 11:37:14 · answer #7 · answered by **Llola** 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you were being VERY nosey and found somthing you wish you hadn't. BUT it doesnt mean he has done anyting wrong. I think you are having doubts about yourself. Are you trying to find a reason not to marry him? Figure out if you really love him or not and then get over it.
2007-07-10 11:31:45 · answer #8 · answered by Bite me 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you love him and he hasn't cheated on you then you shouldn't break up with him over a silly site... I mean yes I see why you are upset (and anyone would be) but if he hasn't done anything and proclaims to love you then I would trust him until he proves otherwise. Let him know that seeing that upsets you and that you aren't happy about it. But don't jump the gun and break up with him over it! Talk and discuss it. Give him a chance to explain. Unless you have proof that he is cheating then don't risk ruining something that could be good. Especially if you love him like you say you do. All relationships have road bumps and this sounds like one of them.
2007-07-10 11:20:54 · answer #9 · answered by SilverBlueBaby 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
u know what? we always keep saying that we believe in the person whom we love, but i believe we should have belief on them but not too much! Yah u hav to believe him but always remember ppl's mind changes! May be once who loved may change his mind with the pass of time(i pray this has not happened to u)! So,have faith on him but in a limit!
Ok, now im telling u wat u should do now, keep ur eyes n ears open, see wat is his thought abt other girls! Apply some trics to know his mentality....
Dont leave him for such a small reason, moreover u dont know wats the truth, u dont know is he really has attraction for other girls or not!!!
If u find that he has some character problem then try to correct it(if u really love him a lot) other wise just leave him!
2007-07-10 11:55:28 · answer #10 · answered by igloo 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋