" Time to Time"?

Question

From time to time
I stare into the mirror
Wondering if mabe
I have somehow changed
From time to time
I look into my heart
Seeing that nothing
Will ever rearange
From time to time
I tilt my head back
Look up to the sky
Feeling like, It may go on forever
But knowing, I might sometime die
From time to time
I lay down in bed
Toss and turn
Mabe there is a way
To truly rest my head
But only from time to time

Answer 1

I like this poem...even though it has a few problems. I'm drawn to it, so it has potential.

"Mabe" should be spelled "maybe"... minor error, but you need to correct the spelling as you use it often and it's distracting when it's wrong.

Your pattern is good, almost hypnotic...but you lose it after "look up to the sky". See if you can find a way to either combine the next two lines to fit your pattern, or if you "really mean" to break the pattern here, perhaps use ellipsis (...) after "like" and maybe a line break too after "die".

Finally, the beat feels wrong in "mabe there is a way"...try, "maybe there's a way", it seems to flow better. And again, maybe ellipsis after "head" so it reads:

to truly rest my head...
But only from time to time

or

To truly rest my head
...but only from time to time

because it needs a pause...this is your finale, so you need to draw particular attention to it.

Again, your poem's haunting quality draws me in...do some editing and you'll have a very nice poem to be proud of :)

Answer 2

Thats a nice poem, kind of rough around the edges, like with the rhyming, but it was overall good. I feel like that too sometimes. Your poem has meaning, something a lot of poems lack.

Answer 3

Awww that was beautiful! Are you a poet? Or just enjoy writting poems?

Answer 4

hi what a lovely poem Christina

Answer 5

Truly (i don't give false compliments), that was beautiful..