So, I've always been naturally attracted to guys without even thinking about it. I've had a terrible time with guys including abuse (yes, I'm seeing a therapist), and now I feel like I like girls better. I have to remind myself to be attracted to girls, it's not a natural thing, but I've always been curious and am not sure if I'd like to be with a girl. I've been wondering lately if I'm a lesbian, yet I still keep going out with guys and am thinking, but if I think I'm a lesbian why do I keep going on with guys? Could this just be a phase of being sick of the ways guys have treated me? Has anyone else gone through this? Please help.
2007-07-10 03:41:43 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Been there, done that. Quite a long time ago, too, before it was so easy.
Problem is, now there is almost too much pressure to be a lesbian, as before there was too much pressure not to be. Do you have a problem with considering yourself bisexual? Or are you a heterosexual with curiosity?
Maybe the problem is feeling you need to decide on your lifelong behavior while you are still so young. That's the beauty of the concept of bisexuality: it is the most free of all the labels you can pin on yourself. The only problem with it is that people tend to assume you are therefore disloyal, incapable of monogamous relationships. An unwarranted assumption. Many bisexuals remain faithful in relationships, even changing their self-designation, for as long as the relationship lasts.
I am a bisexual who assumed she was a heterosexual because I spent over 20 years being faithful to the same man. But after he committed suicide a year and a half ago, I regained an awareness that much of my affection is directed towards women and girls. Since I'm old enough that sexuality is of minor significance anyway, I feel very free.
2007-07-10 03:50:34 · answer #1 · answered by auntb93 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have to think about it that much, you are probably not a Lesbian. Being attracted to the same sex is a natural thing if you are a Lesbian (or gay).
Perhaps you are just fed up with men and are looking for an alternative. Let me assure you that the same problems (and some unique ones too) exist in Lesbian relationships.
It is not a way away from the things I think you are running from. Try talking about this with your therapist.
2007-07-10 03:46:12 · answer #2 · answered by inaru816 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are a great example of why society needs to provide standards of behavior. When society encourages marriage between a man and a woman and discourages homosexuality, people who could go in either direction will be guided toward marriage and having a family. When you listen to people who say that either lifestyle is as valid as the other, you may choose the one that ultimately makes you less happy and is not as good for our society. A lot of gay activists say, "It is not a choice." You are proof that for many people, it is a choice.
Additionally, you're only a lesbian if you are living as a lesbian. It's not something that is set in stone.
2007-07-10 03:49:22 · answer #3 · answered by Jeff A 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can consider it an enviroment affected choice or you may have always been attracted but subconciously or conciously dismissed it.
Nowadays, you don't have to worry about being bisexual etc. But the fact that you're forcing yourself to like women is somewhat disconserting. If you like someone and that person is a woman go for it. Otherwise don't force yourself upon someone or it will lead to you to another bad experiance.
I'm sorry about your past relationships and cheer you on getting help. Good luck in the future.
2007-07-10 03:48:44 · answer #4 · answered by dallyrob 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
U MIGHT B Bi.
OR JUST TIRED OF THE WAY GUYS TREAT U AND THINK THAT A RELATIONSHIP WITH A FEMALE (WHICH WE R LOVEING BY NATURE) SEE WHAT U THINK U NEED. I THINK U NEED A GIRL TO B UR REAL BEST FRIEND. i SEE THAT YOU DON'T NEED HELP, YOU NEED FRIENDS, TO TALK TOO, HAVE FUN WITH. IF U HAVE THAT WITH A GIRL THEN YOUR'LL SEE THAT U R NOT Bi, U JUST LOKKING FOR THAT LOVE WE ALL WANT TO FEEL. THAT SPECIAL SUM1 IN OUR LIFE . WE WANT THAT SO BAD THAT SUM PPL (LIKE U) MAKE THE MISTAKE OF CHOSSING THE SAME SEX. AND U MIGHT FIND IT BUT IN THE LONG RUN IF THIS IS NOT TRUELY WHO U R, THEN U WILL FIND UR SELF IN THE SAME SITUATION THAT IF WITH A GUY. REMEMBER TO LOVE U - FIRST. IF U DON'T , WHAT MAKE U THINK SUM1 WILL/SHOULD.
if u need a friend e-mal: rinarosado @ yahoo . com
2007-07-10 03:59:14 · answer #5 · answered by :*:Juicy:*: 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're bi with a natural lean towards guys but a conscious lean towards girls.
It might just be biased due to events in the past. Ask your therapist about it, s/he should be able to deliver some more educated insight.
Good luck :3
2007-07-10 03:47:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, it could just be because of the way guys have treated you. but, im bisexual and i went through the same type of abuse and i tend to like girls more and mine isnt really psycological mine is natural, i didnt teach myself to be that way.
2007-07-10 03:46:47 · answer #7 · answered by Tres 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're naturally attracted to guys then I don't think you're gay.
Maybe you're just attracting the wrong guys.
2007-07-10 03:49:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's nothing to be asahmed of you can be bisexual...and true...sometimes guys arent the best,,,but it's your life you should chose....but whatever you think will make ur future better will be best.
2007-07-10 03:45:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
n it called r bi
you no gay lezbiend
if u like guys and girls yr called bi sexual
bi
2007-07-10 03:44:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋