How do some married couples handle their money/spending?

Question

My fiance and I have been debating about the best way to manage our money/spending. Weve been nit-picking a lot on how to arrange the bills so they're paid evenly and whos turn it is to pay for groceries or gas etc. My fiance seems to think we should we perhaps keep all our money in a single bank account and take it out as we need it for shared and personal expenses? One suggestion Ive come up with is to have seperate accounts and credit cards for our individual/personal expenses, and a joint credit card account for our shared expenses groceries/rent/bills/gas etc. At the end of every month we would just split the joint credit card balance between the two of us and all the bills would be shared equally. It just seems that if couples shared a single account there would be a lot of bickering over why and how much money was being spent on certain things like shoes or motorcycle parts. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

It depends also on how good both of you are in managing your money. I tend to be the more organized and pay all of our joint bills.

Like you suggested, my husband and I have separate bank accounts and credit cards and a joint account for shared expenses. We put a certain amount into the joint account from each payckeck, but our contribution into the joint account is NOT 50/50 because one makes more than the other, so our contribution is pro-rated based on who makes more as a percent of our combined income. This is fair if you two have a big difference in incomes.

Also, we have a monthly expense budget and a joint savings budget. All of our savings other than IRAs (mutual funds, brokerage accounts, CDs) are jointly held with both of us having access to check and keep track. Everything over our spend and save is personal spending or miscellaneous. This does save on arguments in the long run since we don't have to check in with each other on all purchases.

This works well for us, but we also trust each other implicitly to not binge spend on our personal accounts and we're very honest with one another.

Answer 2

If you split your accounts, then you should use prorated rather than even contributions for the joint expenses.

It is good that you are talking about this before getting married :)

With a shared account you still can have some freedom for your expenses. You can either have a set amount of cash per week or month or you could say if the expense is under X you can spend without asking. I think the cash method is preferable, because it leads you to think more about whether those little expenses are worth it.

I think with either joint or separate accounts, you should be open about your spending with each other.

In terms of your example, I think any system you should be able to buy a pair of flip flops from target for $10 without consulting your husband. However if you are going to get some $120 shoes, he should at least give you a generic ok ahead of time. And the same for him buying a motorcycle part. He should not have to ask to buy oil, but if he gets new brakes he should consult with you.

Answer 3

All the income goes into one account. Make a list of the monthly expenses: Mortgage, car payments, water, electric, garbage, insurance, estimated amount of the grocery bill. Subtract that amount from the combined income. You know how much you need to live on and how much you've got to spend. If after your necessary expenses you have $100 dollars left over, you get $50 and your spouse gets $50. Get rid of the credit cards - they're nothing but trouble. If you're planning to buy furniture or a new stereo, save up for it. Put money away in a savings account. The money that's put away is equally obtained from each spouse's monthly or weekly allowance. Marriage is a partnership. You need to agree on large purchases.

Answer 4

My husband left all of his money and posessions in my care as he went away on a mission for 2 years. It shows trust for eachother and I would think much less bickering later on if one is paying less or more than the other on bills.
We have a joint account, joing mortgage, both of our names on phone bill, etc. I do make almost all of the long distance phone calls... so that should be "my" expense but we know that my spending habits and his spending habits come with the person. You do hav to be responsible with your spending habits to help you (as now one entity - a couple) stay out of debt. Together your money will be greater to invest together and create more income for you as a couple.
We used to have an "allowance" each week or monthly that would then take in account those extra lunces out or new shoes/ hat/ shirt that you need. Sometimes you just see extra funds and make a mutual decision on the large ticket items. Do remember that the little ticket items do add up to and can make a big dent in the budget too.
We use a budgeting program that helps us see a balance on our account on any given day. We can look forward into the future and see if we'll have extra funds for that new couch or set of dishes, etc.
The program could easily be used to make a budget for wedding expenses. We budgeted certain amounts for different areas of the wedding... like flowere, dress, tuxes, etc. That way we didn't go into huge debt first thing in our lives together.
Recently it has helped us to decide if we could go down to a part time income and still have enough to live on 60% of our income. We ended up not having to change our standard of living, exept for less savings and less extra mortgage payments.
Overall .. working together with the same money on the same budget helps you to have a greater trust with eachother and thus a happier relationship. A relationship of trust is worth much more than any amount of money.

Answer 5

Just because you have separate accounts doesn't mean that you aren't acting like adults. You don't have to have a single joint account and all the traditional money arguements to prove to the world that you have a 'real' relationship. My wife and I have separate accounts- we divided the monthy bills up based on what each of us makes, and there are no questions of either of us once the bills are paid, savings taken care of, etc. I can't tell you how much easier it is on our relationship when you eliminate money arguements... (Of course, all this is predicated on the fact that we both live within our respective means) Good luck.

Answer 6

My husband and I share an account and it is OUR responsibility to make sure ALL bills are paid. I don't understand what the problem is, You are both adults and living expenses(unfortunately) come before toys and luxuries. Act like adults, learn to compromise and things will work out. No one person should have control and no one person should always get their way.