Okay, I have been having an affair for the last 9 months with someone I got to love dearly. My husband is the sweetest man and he has done everything for me. He has been there for me and my family. The thing is before I started the affair I asked my husband that, " I do not want to be married to him anymore but he insisted we work it out. He has put his whole life aside 10 years to protect me and do everything for me. I really want like this other man like I love my husband but I am attched. I want to leave this other man because I want to be with my husband and make things work. The thing is my husband wants me to call this other man and end it in his presence, after that end it with him. He will turn around and cry in disbelief and than turn around and hold me tight and tells me he loves me. He was crying all night. He wants a divorce from me one minute and the next, he claims he loves me and he doesn't want to share me with another man. I was wrong.
2007-07-10 03:25:07 · 30 answers · asked by K.S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
if you want to stay with your husband then you are going to have to ply by his rules! you will spend the rest of your life trying to gain his trust. he may forgive you but he will never forget what you did. If you want your marriage back it is going to be a long hard road to travel.
2007-07-10 03:30:56 · answer #1 · answered by kissybertha 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are so confused girl. Start thinking what you really want in your life. Relationship is like a ball. Sometimes your up there and sometimes you're down there. Give yourself sometime to feel him and think of him w/o the man you're cheating with. Go on vacation for 1 or 2 months just by yourself and don't tell the 2 boys where you're going. You have to get away from them in order for your system to work for you. Make a decision - create a scenario on how you will tell who you are dumping behind and get ready for a lot of crying and when you come back, you should have a ready solution to this. But you have to do it and you cannot have both - because you might end up losing both. Your feeling is confused because you are human being - you have a heart and emotion, so don't worry about it if you can't think straight right now. But again, there's some other way aside from this - bottom line is that, you have to end one soon. Good luck!
2007-07-10 03:56:22 · answer #2 · answered by earth angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Getting involved with someone while you are already involved with someone else is always a bad move. Yes, you were wrong but you know that and now need to find a way out.
You love your new partner but you like the security you have with your husband. What started you to cheat on your husband? Maybe, if you've felt that what you have with your husband isn't enough then you really have to take a hard look at things.
How long have you and 'the other man' been seeing each other for? 9 months? has it been physical that long? 9 months is mroe than a quick fling, so there is obviously some sparkt here that is missing from your marriage.
My advice would be to consider your feelings more than that of your husband. Are you unhappy with your life? Then change it. You've obviously tried to work things out but if you still feel conflicted then it hasn't worked.
2007-07-10 03:31:06 · answer #3 · answered by Sanchez 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
first off why did u cheat on him n the first place if ya'll relationship was good? how u gone get married be committed and then cheat on him... that's why i get scared about marriages because of the divorce thing. all i can say is that u caused this on urself and i see that u know that. u really need to leave the other dude alone and stay with ur husband before it's too late. and then if u leave ur husband, who's gonna be there for u and ur family. the other man is just there for sex right? so u need to choose wisely
2007-07-10 03:30:38 · answer #4 · answered by •°iiFia1125°• 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't like people divorcing because someone cheated on the other. Can't you just not cheat on your husband? If he gave so much up for you, 10 years of his life, then you should let him have all the love you can give. He protects you, supports you. This other man you're seeing...just end it with him. Does he know you're married? If he does, and still insists on going on like this, then that man doesn't deserve you at all. You probably don't deserve your husband, either, but from him saying that he loves you, he wants to give you a chance. End it with the other man, and spend the rest of your life with your husband.
2007-07-10 03:32:56 · answer #5 · answered by XDefineDX 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wow, you've really done some serious damage. I don't blame your husband if he wants a divorce since you cheated. Even with counseling, I doubt he ever trusts you again. Every time you're just a little late coming home he's going to be thinking, "I bet she's with that guy again."
I think maybe he did TOO much for you.
2007-07-10 03:38:25 · answer #6 · answered by Mr.Longrove 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I don't blame him for wanting a divorce then not..Your playing with him. You either need to divorce your husband, the man who actually loves you or tell the other guy to f*** off!! He don't care about you anyways, if he did then he would never have messed with a married woman. You need to quit messing around and get it together, find out what you really want and do it. Don't carry on the relationship or marriage if its not what you want. Your just hurting someone else over you ignorance and unhappiness.
Not trying to be rude but I really don't like cheaters. Why get married if your not happy.
2007-07-10 03:32:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you were wrong for cheating on your husband but nobody is perfect and I think that its good that you realize that and you know that you were wrong. I think that its great that you at least confessed to your husband. Now what I think that you need to do is find out if you really would like to preserve your relationship with your husband and whether or not you guys can really work it out. If he is having mixed feelings about it and is still feeling confused after a while with you, then there is no need for you to try and make something work that is obviously not going to work. I cheated on my boyfriend with another guy and i confessed it to him and told him about it and even left the other guy alone. We tried to make things work and they are still working now but he put me through alot because one minute he would say that he trusted me and then one minute he would say that he didnt want to be with me anymore. What I am saying is that you should put your feelings out there and admit that you were wrong to him and be forward and tell him that if he cant get over it and learn to love you in spite of what happened, then you should give him what he wants....a divorce. Trust your instincts and try your hardest to make it work if you want it to work but dont torture yourself with inconsistency on his part. Good luck.
2007-07-10 03:42:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he will just go crazy and do something violent.
I heard of the term justifiable homicide in which somebody loses it but doesn't go to jail because of what he went through. I just hope he doesn't kill you in your sleep. On the other hand maybe he will get even other ways like sleeping with your Friends and family members. Be aware one way or the other he will get even and huge mood swings aren't a good sign of his mental state. Of and by the way you don't deserve our help - he does. Sl_t
2007-07-11 06:45:24 · answer #9 · answered by David B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do I say to my husband or do after my husband caught me lying/cheating?
2016-10-10 05:13:08 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow! um do you relay love your husband? i believe loyalty is an important quality in a marriage. i think you need some marriage counseling if you want to save this relationship with your husband. it will take a long time to earn his trust back. but you must end this very second with this other man! and i understand your husband! he loves you very much it sounds like. and of course he is confused in what to do! it is going to take a lot of work but if you truly love each other i think you have a good chance at making it work. good luck to you!
2007-07-10 03:31:46 · answer #11 · answered by sunshinembf 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋