I live with my girlfriend and every time we get into a big argument, she packs her clothes and is ready to leave. The last argument we had, she packed her clother again and called some companies to rent an apartment. She's always threatening to move out but never does. She had the brochures about the other apartments and all, someone called her and left a message saying the apartment she inquired about is ready for moving in tomorrow. Of course she did not move. Now, the other day, she was talking about getting married. I told her that there is not enough stability in our relationship to be talking about getting married. The last thing I want to hear when we're married is "I want a divorce" if we get into an argument. I told her maybe after we have a couple more arguments and you DONT threaten to move out, that might build up my confidence and we can discuss marriage. She get upset and didn't speak to me for the rest of the day.
2007-07-10 03:23:58 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I do not beg her to stay. I tell her if she feels that leaving is the best thing for her, then leave. I refuse to beg her to stay.
2007-07-10 03:40:00 · update #1
No one knows if it will last or now. Just be tough and don't give in to her childish immature ways. When she packes her bags to leave, help her leave.
2007-07-11 01:45:41 · answer #1 · answered by #1 Monkey Minion 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey man I feel for you. I can some what say I been there done that....just means as a married man I have learned a long time ago that the emotions of a women are just something else. That isn't always a bad thing.
Is the relationship going to last? No one here can answer that one. I think you need to ask yourself what are you arguing about? What is the source of conflict? Do you honestly love this women? If you do love her and willing to find the conflict are you willing resolve that conflict? What if the problem is she doesn't feel loved anymore. You don't romance her anymore. The game is more important then having a heart to heart talk. Hey I been there done that. I'm not against you but she isn't the one asking the question I can only give answer from what I have learned in life. She wants LOVE and you want RESPECT. I strongly believe its the Man's responsibility to right any wrong in the relationship. What I mean is don't expect her to be nice and this or that before you go that extra mile for her. I'm not saying go and get married. I'm saying if she is worth it then go that extra mile for her. Romance her again. Her emotions should get back in order but if in the end there is still a lot of conflict and emotions then you need to decide what to do when you come to that.
Best of Luck!!
2007-07-10 10:55:37 · answer #2 · answered by Maverick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want an honest answer, I don't think it will last based upon the fact that she's broken your trust. If she can get it back, there's a chance, but I agree that she needs to quit threatening to move out every time you get into an argument.
A friend of mine had the same problem with his gf and she did the same thing - got upset because he wasn't jumping at the chance to marry her.
If your girlfriend can't argue reasonably, it won't change once the papers are signed. If she truly loves you she will respect that you want to make sure before you take that step with her.
2007-07-10 10:28:03 · answer #3 · answered by Beth 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In order to have a stable relationship, first you need to have a partner that is stable. This girl sounds like she has no idea what she wants. Are you begging her to stay when she threatens to leave? Maybe that is what she wants: for you to constantly reaffirm how much you love or need her. But those feelings need to be mutual in a relationship that is going to ultimately last. So my advice is the next time she threatens to move...help her pack.
2007-07-10 10:29:52 · answer #4 · answered by anselina1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to be the same way its just her way of 1 )not want to deal with the problem your arguing over and she feels like the solution is to run away from it or 2) she wants to see if you will fight for her , does she have a good relationship with her parents ? Most of the time thats an underlining factor . She'll grow out of it, dont give up.
2007-07-10 10:30:16 · answer #5 · answered by Heather G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Empty threats + silent treatment = definitely not ready for marriage. Good for you for recognizing that. Unfortunately, there's no way you can get her to realize it, and her behavior won't improve unless she does.
If I were in your position, I think I'd be the one looking for a new place. She obviously needs some space and time to herself to figure out what she really wants, but if she's not going to take the initiative, you might have to do it for her before you both end up walking out forever. Good luck.
2007-07-10 11:20:06 · answer #6 · answered by MM 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
doesnt sound like she is ready for a mature relationship. If she wants to leave every time there is a problem, then she is not ready for marriage. Sounds like she has alot of issues. If you really want it to work, i would look into couples counseling. If not, i would just let her move out. next time she threatens, let her do it.
2007-07-10 10:28:11 · answer #7 · answered by writenimage 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's too immature for marriage, and it sounds like she's even too immature for a relationship.
Seems like if she doesn't get her way, then off she'll go.
Do you want to constantly be giving in to her or do you want to be happy?
Maybe next time, call her bluff.
Tell her you think it's best if she does go.
Maybe the time apart will make her grow up some.
Right now she sees you put up with it, so she keeps doing it.
Not a good relationship :(
2007-07-10 10:28:52 · answer #8 · answered by MommaBear 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she is not ready for a real relationship if instead of working things out she wants to always leave and run. Real relationship require lots of hard work especially during the hard times
2007-07-10 10:28:27 · answer #9 · answered by SweetV 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should cut your ties and RUN, MAN, RUN! She is not looking for a real relationship. She wants one where the guy agrees with anything she says, and every time you disagree or argue with her, she is going to threaten to leave. If you get married and she continues to that, it is going to end badly. Get out while the getting is good!
2007-07-10 10:27:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she has the temper of a 3 year old who doesn't get their chocolate milk. My husband is the same way, all talk no action. Whenever we get into a fight he yells about wanting me out and 20 minutes later he is talking to me like nothing happened and I ask him if he meant it and he says no. Some people don't know how to handle anger. If you can deal with that knowing she is all talk, the deal with it. If not end it. There is no reason you should deal with that.
2007-07-10 10:27:58 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋