How do you show your parents that some of their ways of thinking are racist without making them feel attacked?

Question

My mother made the following statement to my son: "Why do you always have to watch black shows?". My son is biracial and replied to me that he should have asked her why she always has to watch "white" shows? I mentioned to her that her comment hurt his feelings. Her response was that "I" am always looking for things to ***** about and he is starting to do the same thing. If I knew how to publish my own web page for free, I would keep a daily diary to invite feedback on whether it is true that me and my kids are overreacting and too sensitive or is it them?

Answer 1

You probably can't. I have a similar problem, and the truth is that with my dad it was a hopeless cause. That said, my mom eventually came around, but all I did with her was to set a good example. I never directly attacked her beliefs, but when issues of race came up in the news or on television I would casually speak my peace in her presence. My mom respects my opinion, and over time began to change her views. I am an educated person, and I know a lot about the subject. Most of it was simple ignorance and lack of information on her part, moreso than any real racist tendencies. So I recommend educating yourself on race issues, diversity, and racism and just setting a good example. If that doesn't work, then there is little you can do about it. People can change... but they have to want to change. I admire you for trying. Good luck!

Answer 2

Tell them straight up! When they are speaking thier racist comments do you think they are considerate about the race they are talking about? So you have to come with the same strong mindframe or else they will just brush you aside. Let them know where you stand and also flip the situation on them meaning turn it around in such a way that they end up being a victim of their own comments or give them an analogy that will clearly exploit their behaviour. What they do afterwards from that point is subject to judgment because they've just been shown the way!!!

Answer 3

Good question and sometimes there is no easy answer to what you ask.
Sometime you should have to show them square up that there way of thinking is totally wrong,there are just some things you cannot sugar coat you have to meet it square on no matter who it is.
It isn't about attacking them it is just showing them that there way of thinking let's say is out dated and behind the times and to try and bring them into the twenty first century if that is all possible but you know sometimes when people are set in there old ways of thinking about racism it is very hard to change their point of view of seeing things and the point no matter how good your intentions are and what is hard for you is that these are your parents at least it sounds like you got your head on right when it comes to viewing the wrongs of racism maybe it's going to take someone as yourself to make your parents see the errors of there ways since no one knows your parents better than you do good luck ok!

Answer 4

By casually pointing out some of the things that they "accuse" other races of doing/being, that the actually do themselves.

For instance, say your dad makes a "chicken and watermelon" comment, you can point out (in a funny way) how much chicken he ate at the last picnic or Sunday dinner, and that he seems to have a fondness for soul food...don't get smacked though.

if you have friends of different races, you could casually point out some of the positive things that they are doing, things that you know your parents think are important qualities.

Good Luck, attitudes are the hardest things to change.

Answer 5

Do not say directly that what they are saying is racist. Instead, indicate to them how one could preceive them as racist. Ask them to walk in the shoes of the potentially offended party and ask them if they like the comments that they are hearing. If they see no problem still in what they have said, then explain why it is racist. If they still do not understand, then you may have a much greater problem at you hands.