A friend of mine has a child.. he did something terrible... pls read on..?

Question

Hi,

I have a friend with a 3 year old. He is a nice kid and quite quick. However, he is quite rowdy and mischievious etc. He puts phones down the toilets and is always being naughty. I have spent time with him and although he is just a kid he really does seem to know right from wrong but chooses to do wrong.

My friend came home from work the other day and found that her son had put the two kittens in the microwave and switched in on... hence to say the poor kittens are no more....

What I am wondering is that when she told me I asked if her son was upset by what he had done or cried or anything. Turns out he sat on the stairs for 5 minutes in silence, did not cry but then carried on playing as if nothing had happened.

is this normal behaviour for a 3 year old. I know accidents happens but I'm not so sure this was an accident..!?

Answer 1

Some kids are a lot more mischievous and curious than others. This one sounds like he is a lot of hard work.
The action of putting kittens into the microwave at the age of three cannot be compared to doing it at 6, 10 or 15 for example. He is not making choices like an older child he is simply exploring and his knowledge of the consequences is very , very limited at three. He is too small to have deliberately "killed" these animals. we cannot judge his actions like we would the actions of an older child.

Sitting on the stairs in silence for 5 mins shows that he was in some way contemplating his actions and their consequences, but again at age three he cannot feel these things like an older child. He felt bad but isn`t able to verbalise these feelings yet nor comprehend his responsibility for the death of the animals.
If there have been no other incidents that make you worry about this child then I would say yes this child is normal and so were his actions. Boisterous and naughty he may be , but normal. Your friend need to safeguard the kitchen and put the kitchen off limits to a three year old though.

Answer 2

Pardon my french, but who the hell was watching this kid when he nuked the poor kittens? However, I disagree that he is a sadistic, inhuman monster who needs treatment and meds. He is 3. I really doubt he knew that it would hurt the kittens to put them in the microwave. Also, the mic should be out of his reach. 3 year olds do not comprehend what death is either, so he didn't know he'd kill them. Also, he most likely has no idea what it means for the kittens not to ever come back. The problem in this situation is A) A responsible adult was not watching him, and B) Things that should not be within his reach are. What should have been done is that he should have been sat down and some type of explanation given as to why he can't nuke kittens, and than yes he should have been punished, harshly I would say in this case, to make the idea stick. And no pets for awhile until the parents learn to watch him and make sure he gets the idea.

Answer 3

This is by no means normal and goes far beyond being mischievous and experimental. It may sound judgemental to say that he's going to grow up into a killer, but it's a fact that many murderers tortured animals as a child. It's a warning sign of Sociopathy (Anti-Social Personality Disorder). I think that a three year old child knows right and wrong. I think that if they had a puppy and it died that they would cry. If a child did this by accident they would be upset to realize the kittens were dead. His lack of remorse, his disregard for the kittens, his irresponsibility, and his aggressiveness happen to be four of the seven criteria in the DSM lV (the book that lists the criteria of a disorder that has to be met before diagnosing someone) to diagnose Anti Social Personality Disorder. And a three year old child can definetly be diagnosed with it. Actually there are many cases where children have been diagnosed with it in kindergarten.

You have to convince your friend to get this boy professional help and fast. This isn't being mischevious. I think that everyone who read your post was thinking oh he throws things in the toilet, no big deal, but when they got to part about the kittens, they felt some level of mortification and want to rationalize such horrible behavior as a naughty young child. But I seriously hope that you try to help this boy because he needs help, very badly.

Answer 4

This is the Parent(s) fault!!! The child understands right from wrong, Please read on before you waste money on a shrink!...I thought this was common sense nowadays.

From what I understand from your story, this child was just sent to the 'step' to think about what he had done (after a 'telling off'). I have seen this happen a lot since smacking a child has become very dangerous for parents!!! (I personally think a smack is a great way to teach a child a lesson)
Your friend has not taught her child the equal consequences of his actions. This is why the child seems 'nasty'. He is simply pushing the boundary with his mother to see what exactly he can get away with...He will also keep pushing it with other authority figures in the future. This child needs a serious wake up call from his mother. He will eventually understand that if he does something like that again he will suffer severe consequences (not physical by the way). Confiscate all his belongings and privileges. No TV, sweets, toys, pets, friends NOTHING. Only the basics to live. Let him scream all he wants...BUT Keep reminding him why he is in this position. Once he shows real remorse, slowly add luxuries back into his life.
DO NOT SHOW THIS CHILD SYMPATHY, IT HAS GONE TOO FAR ALREADY. Your friend MUST hold a stern face and mind if she really wants to teach her child to be gentle. He must understand that if he causes physical harm to another living thing, there will be somebody to return the punishment justly back to him.

Answer 5

I am no expert in chidren psychology, but i think that his behaviour isnt normal.
3yr olds know the differnce between right and wrong, and even if not, they are sure old enough to know that microwaving a cat isnt right.
Ive bumped into the same situation one in the past.
My cousin did the very same thing. He was a young boy then, maybe 12. It was just after his mother died of cancer, maybe he was trying to say something.
Maybe this 3 year old is using this behaviour instead of words? Maybe something unstable from the past is bothering him?
As young as he is, 3 yr olds are smart, they know more than we think...
I think the boy should be spoken to about this incident, and yes, you should get advice from a children psychologist, that would be better that asking us (look at the answers u r getting here!)

Answer 6

Chances are he is behaving in this manner for attention. You mention that he knows right from wrong but chooses to do wrong so he gets attention from the parents.

Although horrific he is only 3 and his behaviour can be fixed. Just guessing but I wonder if he did this to the kittens as the parent spent more time with them than with the little boy. Sounds like he was jealous of the attention they were receiving.

Best solution. Put the child in care and put the parents down to stop them breeding again.

Answer 7

No this is not normal. This needs to be nipped in the bud asap. You didn't say if your friend was concerned about his behavior. He shouldn't have been left alone long enough to do something like this. Does she punish him for his destructive behavior???

The fact that he showed no remorse for what he had done is a bad sign. If he's doing this at his age, what will he do when he's 12 or 16. He'll end up locked up for murder or something

He is showing a really violent and sadistic side to his personality and this could get worse. She needs to seek professional help for him A.S.A.P

The RSPCA would take this matter very seriously and you could be charged for animal cruelty.

Answer 8

I can understand ur feelings. Maybe everyone calls it CHEATING. But LOVE is something u enjoy in life. Romance should be in the air even after marriage. So I will not say it is bad to love a person after marriage. There should be someone to share ur secrets, fantacies and other things which u cannot share with ur hus, parents, brothers, sisters or even intimate friends. But there should be a lot of precuations like safe sex and even the calls or an SMS from him. It should be a secret between u and him alone. But as he is still a bachelor, I fear danger. If he was a married person, it would have been cool as he would take care of his family while u take care of ur's even when the relationship continues. There would not be much harm. But bachelors are dangerous when u r married.

Answer 9

I don't think a 3 year old is going to understand that putting something alive into a microwave and then turning it on will kill it. They don't really have a concept of living and dead yet.

My 2 1/2 year old son loves bugs. He will play with the bug, then stomp it or squish it, then keep on playing with it. It's gross, I know, but he's only seeing it as something to play with. M

My son stomps the bugs because that's what he's seen others do. Your friend's son put something in the microwave because that's what he's seen others do. That's a 3-year old for you.

Answer 10

Sadly this child is showing sociopathic qualities at an alarmingly young age. these behaviors unchecked will ultimately lead to deviant and possibly psycopathic tendencies as an adult.

This child is a dangerous abuser/murderer in training. That is how many of the worst/sickest/most twisted serial murderers get started.

They need psychological evaluation and monitoring ASAP and very desperately. It is possible with long term care this child could lead a normal life, with much difficulty. If it continues it will get worse and it will be a disaster. This is a monster in a cute little 3 year old body. Given time the dangers will escalate and present themselves.