Do most men want to have their own child?

Question

I'd love to hear from men especially on this one. Is it a real wish for you to have your own child with a woman you're in love with? Particularly for the guys who are 30 and over, is this now a really important thing for most of you? Say you met your dream woman and she wasn't interested in /couldn't have a child and you wanted one, would you still stay with her/marry her?

Answer 1

As a guy, I would prefer to have a child of my own. That's pretty much the reason I won't date women with children. I have nothing against these women or their kids, however I want one to call my own. I'm not going to lie, I would even go as far as to favor my own kids over the others. Most of my feelings come from the fact that my father dated a lot of women with kids and although he loved us I hated the fact that he was with them (and for them, which included giving them gifts I wanted, just being around, etc). When we used to visit him he would brag about us, but my thing was I felt he put those kids over us. I know that was not the case, but while we (my mother and brother) were struggling and getting picked on for being poor, he was with another family. I didn't want my family to be back together again (it was too violent for that), but what I did want was to no longer struggle and I felt stuff that went to them should have come to us.

A lot of guys just don't care and it's no big deal for them, and I say more power to them. It takes a special guy to raise another child that's not his own. Not every guy can do that and women (especially single moms) need to start recognizing that. But the ones that do and can are good guys and I can never say anything bad about them.

As far as if I met someone that could not have children my ex-gf was in that unfortunate predicament. I would have stayed with her regardless. There was a part of me considering options such as adoption, b/c I cared for her that much. But, if I were to be honest about it, there was just no way I could have loved them or cared for them as much as I would have if I kids of my own.

Answer 2

It depends, does she doesn't want one, or can't have one, there's a difference. My husband wanted a child very much when we met ( I was 36, he was 35), but the doctors had all told me that I couldn't have any children. So we talked about it and he told me that he was OK with it and so we got married. Well 2 weeks after the wedding I was pregnant. Yes I was...So we have now a beautiful 5 year old son. My husband couldn't be happier.
So you have to ask yourself, are you willing to give up the dream of being a father to marry the woman you love.
You and only you know the answer to that.
Good luck

Answer 3

This was my exact same situation.
We're both in our 30's , I have 2 children to a previous marriage. He doesn't have any children, but always wanted to.
I am not able to have any more children, so I told him he had to go find his dream.
1 1/2 months later, we end up back together because he says I am his dream.
He gave up his dream of having his own children.
I was always worried about that coming back to haunt us.
Well it's been 8 years and we're still together and happier than ever.
True story, no fairy tale ;)

Answer 4

My wife and I had this conversation once our dating relationship got serious - as all couples should do.

I have always wanted kids, so if my wife (girlfriend at the time) did not want kids, I probably would have called it off. If she or I was unable to have kids, we would have stayed together because I think that is different.

I was 25 years old when we were engaged and 26 at marriage. Am 36 now and wouldn't do it differently.

Answer 5

Every man is different...my now X husband. Refused to adopt...said he didn't want someone else's F*ing kid. I was diagnosed as peri-menopausal, therefore wouldn't have a child of my own. We split, I filed for divorce and started seeing another guy (didn't want children) 1 month after my divorced was finalized, I got pg!!!!! The doctors were wrong!!!! Oh so wrong. Amazingly, though my guy now didn't want kids, he has stood by us. As for my X, he met a girl and knocked her not long after I got PG. So good for him.
I have a friend who has stood by his wife even though she has been unable to conceive and now never will do to a hysterectomy. I have another friend he and his wife have tried invitro...didn't work and now they are in the adoption process. So there is no generalization as to what "Most" men want. They are as different as the shorts they wear.

Answer 6

yes, men do eventually want a child of their own. however there are exceptions. if he really loves you and there are circumstances that don't allow for him to have a child(ren) of his own, he won't leave you for it. he's going to love and support the life the 2 of you could build together. if he's really pressing the issue...is he really the one you should be with ?
i don't know...it's just an opinion
i do know that men will love a women and any child(ren) she may already have if the fall in love. that's what love is...the whole package

Answer 7

My boyfriend/fiance has a 4yr old from a previous relationship and I was perfectly fine with not having any children BUT he does want another child with me. He would still stay with me regardless of having another one BUT we will have a baby together soon :)

Answer 8

THERE WAS THIS GUY I WAS SEEING AND I LOVED HIM SO AND HIS KIDS HE HAD 2 GIRLS AND 2 BOYS
I BENT OVER BACK WARD FOR THEM AND I COULD SEE US MAKING A HOME UNTIL I GOT PREGNANT AND HE GOT SO UPSET WITH ME AND LEFT ME WITH HIS DAUGHTER HE WAS MAD THAT I DID THIS TO HIM...HUH I WAS SO HURT..I HAD NO IDEA HE WAS GOING TO FLIP OUT HIS LOSS...WE NEVER SAW HIM AGAIN..NOW I HAVE MY BEST FRIEND TO KEEP ME COMPANY...SO YOU SEE IT DONT WORK FOR EVERYBODY...
SO SHE MAY HAVE OTHER IDEAS SO SIT DOWN AND TALK WITH HER BEFOR YOU GET HURT...