She currently stays with her mum (we are separated and do not talk), but visits me me occasionally with her siblings. I'm not sure what information she is getting from her mum. Is it normal and advisable for a dad to discuss this topic with her daughter?
2007-07-10 01:28:06 · 31 answers · asked by Blake 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Its nice you are interested in your daughters care however I think it would be best to perhaps speak with her mum to ask how much she knows as otherwise she might be realyl embarassed if dad just starts talking about periods and stuff, I would have been really embarrassed to be honest but I still think its nice you are showing interest
2007-07-10 01:30:50 · answer #1 · answered by mumoffour 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Older mum here. Safe sex discussions and implications and getting periods don't go hand in hand. Combining those talks would end in withering embarrassment for the girl. Too much, too soon (or too late), but not together.
I think you need to acknowledge to her in an indirect way that she is maturing physically but that she is still eleven. You might also figure out a way to let her know that you realize that at times she may not feel great and that she can have some privacy.
Man, it is bad that you and the mum don't talk. You need to coordinate her needs. For example, is the mum going to send along hygiene products and midol-type meds, or will you be responsible to keep those things on hand? What brand?
Somehow, if you are not going to talk to her mother, you are going to have to ask your daughter delicately if there is anything she needs.
I guess that if your daughter is being raised by her mother, you probably need to assume that she has covered the territory. However, she needs something different from you. You should research that and be a strong presence in your daughter's life.
2007-07-10 10:18:16 · answer #2 · answered by grapeshenry 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your daughter may be a little embarrassed to talk about this and other 'female' issues with you, but if you approach it from the standpoint that while you are her Dad you are also a guy and you just want her to get a heads up on how guys think. If you start early talking with her, the tougher discussions such as sex before marriage, contraception and everything else will come easier. One of the greatest lessons you can teach your daughter is how she should expect a guy to treat her.
2007-07-10 08:35:46 · answer #3 · answered by Deb B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk with her mother first to be sure she is getting the basics and what she is teaching her so the two of you could be on the same page but it can't hurt to hear it from her dad either. You may not feel comfortable speaking to the fact the she is having a cycle but you can definitely discuss the implications i.e. pregnancy and etc. Best to you!
2007-07-10 08:33:22 · answer #4 · answered by Inquiry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um no. Why would you talk about it with her? You have absolutely no personal experience in that area and everything you would be telling her would have been found on a Kotex "how to talk to your daughter" webpage... Let it go. Even if her mom didn't tell her that much, it's not that hard for a girl to figure out- Peel paper off the pack of pad. Stick pad on underwear. Remove pad when you feel necessary. Throw pad away...
2007-07-10 12:06:47 · answer #5 · answered by Squeegee Beckingheim :-) 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's definitely not normal, but I think it should be!
Even if you don't talk about the "girl stuff", as she gets older it might be a good idea to give her your opinion on contraception and interaction with boys.
I know it might be hard to enforce rules about dating etc. while she's living with mum, but she'll probably appreciate you offering her a "guy" perspective rather than lecturing her.
Maybe at the moment you could just offer to lend an ear anytime she feels like talking.
Good luck!
2007-07-10 09:44:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She definitely needs to be talked to about it and told what comes along with a period, such as physical changes and **the ability to become pregnant**. BUT... I remember being 11 years old once and I would have absolutely died if my dad had talked to me about my period, I didn't even want him to know I got my period until I was in high school. The best idea would be to talk to her mother and get her to have that conversation with your daughter. But that's really nice of you to care that much... you sound like a great dad.
2007-07-10 08:34:08 · answer #7 · answered by Krysta1007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you shouldn't discuss it with her. I have a way better relationship with my dad than my mom and I would still prefer my mom to discuss this very personal topic. No matter what your relationship is to your daughters mom you should call her to make sure she is going to discuss it with your daughter.
Also, start taking your daughter on dates just the two of you, my dad took me on many dates when I was 12-15 and it made me learn how guys should treat me and I believe it is what caused me to date such great guys when I was allowed. Open doors for her, pay for her, compliment her. Seriously a date where you pick her up by knocking on the front door with flowers :)!
2007-07-10 08:33:06 · answer #8 · answered by Michelle S 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She is probably going to feel more comfortable hearing it from her mother. I know I would. So if you really want her to be informed on the situation, just talk to her mother about it and encourage her to talk to her about it. I'm sure it will make your daughter feel way more comfortable with her mom telling her opposed to you telling her. Hope this helps!
2007-07-10 08:31:43 · answer #9 · answered by Floridagirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want to talk to her mum buy a book or get one from a library ( apologies for the spelling! ) and just tell her she can talk to you about anything. The book is probably best for both of you so you can avoid uncomfortable situations and questions you cant answer. Its nice to know you care about your daughter and feel you can talk to her! Talking to her is normal if you want to but as i said before can be uncomfortable for one or both of you.
Hope this helps!
2007-07-10 10:24:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋