We fought, in front of children - 1 and 2 years old, he hit me. Really scary and sad. He thinks I provoqued him and it's my problem. I am hurt and I want to leave. What to do?
2007-07-10 01:12:45 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Leave. He should never have done violence, and in front of the kids, yet...
But do yourself and your kids a big favor and stop pretending you are an innocent victim. You chose to carry on in front of the kids and You could have stopped escalating things before he took it to violence.
There are no innocents in these kinds of relationships.
2007-07-10 01:23:12 · answer #1 · answered by chocolahoma 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Leave!!! People like your husband always say it your fault and that you provoked him. This is how abusers work, they wear down their victims until the abused is convinced that it is all their fault and if they were a better wife this would not have happened. Wrong!!! No matter how good a wife you were this man would have found something wrong to blame you for. If you did not react then he would start on the children. Actually by fighting in front of the children he is already starting to abuse them as well as you. Be a woman, stand up for yourself and leave. Take him for everything he owns and live a long and happy life.
2007-07-10 01:31:37 · answer #2 · answered by witchnanny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did not specify the details of your fight so I would say that your husband becomes mean whenever you fight.
Simple...follow these instructions carefully. Ready? First, go through every room in your house, open all the drawers, cupboards, and closets and pack all of your clothes and belongings into suitcases and boxes. Next, take out a piece of paper and a pen. then write the following note: "Oh Perfect One, I'm writing to inform you that I finally saw the light and have achieved a new level of clarity and enlightenment..... I'm clear that you are an egotistical, narcissistic, dysfunctional human being, and I'm enlightened about the fact that I am leaving you and I will bring the kids with me. Thank you for helping me to achieve this state of supreme liberation."
Leave the note somewhere he is sure to see it. In his case, that's probably a mirror. Then, load up your car and get the hell out, and don't look back.
chao!
2007-07-10 02:31:40 · answer #3 · answered by ravishingV 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Real men don't hit women........... ever. This is not a real man you've married, but a child with a temper. I'm betting this isn't the first time he's done this either. Probably started off hitting walls when he got pissy... maybe throwing stuff.
Regardless, he has shown that he will end whatever fight you have by physically abusing you. If he was THAT mad he should have walked away... cooled off. Unless you attacked him, there's no justification for striking you... especially in front of the kids.
Go home to your mother. Let the child that you married get into counseling for anger management immediately.
2007-07-10 01:19:02 · answer #4 · answered by Aron1968_30 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he hit you once he will do it again and it will get worse everytime. GET OUT!!!! I am sure you love him and want the best for the children and staying is not it. He may tell you it is all your fault, WRONG. The fights take two yes but the hitting only took him. You are not to blame and you don't deserve this. Get your children, pack some clothes and go stay with family or a friend. and Get a really good lawyer.
2007-07-10 02:02:59 · answer #5 · answered by Jennie85 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have called the cops, first of all. you still can file a report. don't let this assh ole convince you it was your fault. you don't deserve to be treated in such a way, and your children deserve better too. do you want them to grow up to be abusive to their partners, cause that's what's gonna happen. as they get older they will also resent you for putting them through all this, if the abuse continues. You need to protect yourself and the kids. call some family, make your hubby leave, go to a shelter, something. save yourself and your children, don't become another statistic. this is your life and your children's life we're talking about. if you do nothing, it will happen again and more often. once you let someone get away w/ a behavior, it makes it easier for them to do it again. please get help and get out. you could lose your kids or worse your life. don't know where you're from, but here they will charge you w/ cruelty to children for domestic disputes that take place in front of the children. You and your children deserve to be happy, not living in fear.
2007-07-10 01:28:43 · answer #6 · answered by sammie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please believe that this is not your fault nor is it your problem. Your hubby is just trying to justify to himself as to why he hit you. Physical violence in a relationship is never a good sign and to have it happen in front of your children is outrageous. You and your children need to feel safe and secure in your home. If you do not feel safe, than you need to either leave with the kids or ask your husband to leave. If he wants to work things out, than both of you need to go to counseling and he needs anger management. If he says that he is sorry and he will never do it again, please do not buy into that. The majority of the time when men hit their spouses, they will do it again if something is not done and the next time could be more than just him hitting you.
2007-07-10 01:24:31 · answer #7 · answered by bluemysti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your children don't need this crap. It's one thing to argue in front of the kids, but hitting you is not what your kids need to see. If it happens one time, you can just about bet that it's going to happen again. If you don't do anything about it, he thinks he's gotten away with it and will do it again. Men, in my opinion, can not take the blame for their parts in an arguement. They never do anything, we, women, always provoke them. He's just trying to justify hitting you. If you are ready to get out of this, leave and then get a lawyer. If you have any marks, left by him, take pitures, for you proof of what's going on. Leaving is hard but you will find your way. Good luck to you and your kids!!!
2007-07-10 01:26:56 · answer #8 · answered by Needtoknow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave...no matter what you do, a man should never hit you.
Although, when a man says leave him alone.....LEAVE HIM ALONE!!
None the less, if the 2 of you are having "violent" fights then both of you need counseling for anger managment and communications and shouldn't be together...for the sake of your children or the cycle will perpetuate.
2007-07-10 01:51:05 · answer #9 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE and takes the kids with you! If he hit you once it will happen again and in front of the kids thats sleezy :( alow him to see his kids with supervision. and if you really think that he will never hot you again think about the next time you "provoque" him.
2007-07-10 01:43:24 · answer #10 · answered by ctqueenbee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has done this once he will do it again. Men should never hit a female for whatever the reason. Arguing in front of children of whatever age is just not on. Leave for somewhere safe. Be safe and happy in whatever or wherever you go or do.
2007-07-10 01:40:22 · answer #11 · answered by jk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋