The other night while we were sleeping
My wife says hunny someones peeping
I told her to go back to bed
I never heard just what she said
She got right up and went outside
She searched around and circled wide
Then I'm hearing someone yelling
Who is there, there's no way telling
But now he's in a strangle hold
And pretty soon, he'll be out cold
I start to pry away her fingers
He's looking blue, his life now lingers
I think she's watching too much wrestling
She's seen those holds, that now she's testing
The cops got here and jumped right in
Thats better then what could have been
From what the cops saw going here
And from what she said I coluld not hear
I quess they were not too impressed
Cause he was clothed, and her undressed
2007-07-10 00:26:00 · 5 answers · asked by gary_b04901 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
Humorous? Woo-hoo! Great sense of rhyme and proportion! Great sense of meter. What a little dervish your wife is! What a fun poem, thanks for sharing! :)
Margot
2007-07-13 13:43:34 · answer #1 · answered by margot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it "is" humorous. I'd like to suggest a few edits, if I may...
honey, vs hunny
someone's, vs someones
"then I hear someone start yelling"
vs
"then I'm hearing someone yelling"
"who it is, there is no telling"
vs
"who is there, there is no telling"
"That's better than what could have been"
vs
"That's better then what could have been"
"From what the cops saw going on here"
vs
"From what the cops saw going here"
could vs coluld
"I guess they weren't all that impressed"
"Cause he was clothed, and she undressed"
vs
"I guess they were not too impressed"
"Cause he was clothed, and her undressed"
these are minor changes to correct beat and grammar hard spots... otherwise, I thought it was fantastic! Nice job!
2007-07-14 01:32:48 · answer #2 · answered by Kevin S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wrestling naked? Haha, dude' that's pretty funny. I like the rhymes and all, but how'd the cops get there? She was wrestling a dude naked...All the attention drawn to her, eh?
2007-07-10 07:42:26 · answer #3 · answered by XDefineDX 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
haha u got a smile outta me and at 5:34 in the morning thats rare
2007-07-10 07:34:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
not bad(:
2007-07-10 07:32:19 · answer #5 · answered by monochrome 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋