I have been unhappy for a while. Now we have a baby who I adore, but I am not happy and my wife is unhappy about my unhappiness. It is effecting the baby's sleep patterns. SHould I go? How long should I stay? Most divorces occur within the first year after the birth of the first child.
2007-07-09 23:37:55 · 26 answers · asked by Mandy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Never stay together "for the sake of the children". It's a lame excuse not to get on with your own life and try to be happy. Kids aren't stupid. They know when something isn't right between their parents. Better to have 2 happy parents apart than 2 that aren't happy and staying together for the children. Talk about needing therapy when they grow up!
2007-07-10 00:26:22 · answer #1 · answered by Kelly773 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, children are greatly effected by a parents unhappiness or unhappiness in marriage, almost, if not to the extent of divorce. Since you say, most divorces occur within the first year after the birth of the first child, why not wait out that year and try to work it out. Keep trying, but never is staying in a marriage just for the children beneficial to the children and in some cases where the parents are absolutely miserable or hostile with eachother, it's actually better for a divorce or seperation to occur. It's best if you could work out your problems for your boy. If that's impossible, well then the chances of your child being disadvantaged are already there whether you divorce or not.
2007-07-09 23:43:25 · answer #2 · answered by qwertatious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not talk through the problems with your wife? Or go to a marriage guidance councilor? It seems too easy to jump ship now, marriage is about working through your problems and sticking together through thick and thin, you will have a stronger bond when you come out the other side. What about your son do you want him to come from a broken home, if your wife meets someone else do you want him brought up by a different daddy? Have you thought about trying to bring some romance back into the relationship? Get the baby minded and do some stuff you did when you first started dating. If it was me I would pull out all the stops to make it work, if after trying everything i was still unhappy I would go for a divorce.
2007-07-10 00:16:01 · answer #3 · answered by farleyjackmaster 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Other divorces got nothing to do with you and remember many relationships get stronger you know...so dont hide behind statistics.I quess you have been feeling more unhappy after the birth right cause your wife has somebodyelse to love and take care of....or you felt unhappy before and shouldnt had the kid...anyway talk to your wife and maybe for first 2 years you could life seperately but STAY in touch with them and after the baby gets older see how you really FEEL about your son and the wife and make a decision accordingly.Not only your life had a very emotional time and still has but you too,it seems to me you still gotta learn how to deal with this heavy resposibility and this responsibility is for LIFE....A baby cries a lot and has irregular sleeping-patterns for atleast first 2 years, thatswhy its so tough for all new parents and very common for a dad wanting to escape FROM but realize your wife CANT.....Dont be a coward and grow up,us adults dont always feel happy,LIFE changes dramatically and now its time to put your sons happiness first and remember HE NEEDS YOU AROUND.
2007-07-09 23:55:03 · answer #4 · answered by ajal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are truly unhappy i would not advise you to stay with your wife due to a child i went through this and after fourteen years of marriage and three kids later it still turned into a divorce which made it so hard on my boys but in the long run things are better now than ever before im happier my kids are happy.even though it took some time for them to get adjusted to the new ways. You need to follow what your heart tells you to do but please dont stay just because of your son. Your son will always be there no matter what.
2007-07-10 01:37:57 · answer #5 · answered by mom247 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to ask your self why are you unhappy?? Whats important to you in life?
You made a commitment that needs to be taken a little more serious with some hard questions to ask and answer to yourself. Defined unhappy .
Don't just cop out with I'm unhappy! and use statistics as an excuse for you to make it an OK thing to divorce. You,your wife, your marriage and your child deserves better than that.
2007-07-10 00:05:34 · answer #6 · answered by livelovelaugh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well hard question.. children always seem to get the worst end of an unhappy marriage..
Id feel your baby would benefit from happier parents who act decently and as co-parents from a divorce, than two fighting parents who only stay together for the child... Theres nothing wrong with the child visiting two households as long as both you are set with the rules and respect each other as humans and as co-parents to the baby.. Just explain at some point in his life that you both love him and he is not to blame for you and Mommy deciding to live apart.. You can use respectful terms to describe Mommy, never degrade the other parent to the child..
2007-07-09 23:43:19 · answer #7 · answered by Mintee 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you have depression? Maybe you should see a counsellor before you make such a huge decision. I'm not saying stay (cause I did that for many years in my previous marrige - for the kids sake and was very unhappy), but you have to be sure that you are just not clinically depressed about other things - like the major life change a baby brings into a marriage. Just be totally sure before you leap, if you decide to leap.
2007-07-10 01:05:28 · answer #8 · answered by lisafrances1531 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Conflict or anger itself does not have to cause an irreparable rift between partners. With good communication skills and a shared commitment to a marriage, even these are surmountable. How to save your marriage https://tr.im/r0CYI
However, at that point where one partner is at the brink of abandoning the relationship, how can the remaining partner save their marriage? If you are at the point where your spouse has asked for a divorce, what can you do?
You must realize first that, you do have a choice. Often, when confronted by a crisis, we find ourselves backed into a corner thinking we have no choice in the matter. How can we change the situation when it involves another person's feelings or decisions? While we cannot, must not and in no way manipulate, blackmail or threaten our partner into changing their mind, we can actually control how we react to the situation. If anything, you must realize that you still have control over yourself. You have the opportunity to look inward and take responsibility for your own feelings and actions and even have the chance to take personal inventory of what your partner is trying to tell you. Are there points in your marriage that must be changed? If so, respond appropriately and proactively.
2016-02-11 22:30:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are looking for a way to get out of the responsibility of taking care of your wife and child. The first year after the birth of a child is difficult because you are adjusting to a new life. Don't be so foolish as to give up now, or you will regret it later.
2007-07-09 23:57:08 · answer #10 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋