A so called friend has just dropped me & to be honest it's a relief as she had become so demanding & such hard work that it felt like I had a second job.I'm ok with this (we'd been having problems for over a year) but my boyfriend says I should'nt just let her go as we've been mates for such a long time. I guess my question is do you really need to text or ring someone every day or see them every week for them to be considered a good friend. Because thats what she seemed to want & to be honest I just don't have the time to devote to just one person.
2007-07-09 23:36:42 · 18 answers · asked by Jaime 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Just to make it clear, she has dropped me.
2007-07-09 23:54:47 · update #1
I dont speak to my best friend for months at a time, we are both busy with our other commitments, it doesnt mean we aren't still best mates though. We know each other inside out and when we do get together it feels really special.
The kind of friendship you are talking about smacks to me of dependancy on her part, which is unfair on you. It sounds like she hasn't really grown up yet and is still trying to have an adolescent friendship. Give it some time and see how it pans out, if she doesnt want to talk to you after a month or two apart then she isn't woth having as a friend.
2007-07-09 23:48:44 · answer #1 · answered by neogriff 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Friendships are mean to be a 50/50 thing, you both put in equal amounts of effort. Sadly this is rarely the case. I have lost many a friend because they expect me to do all the calling and arranging to meet up, eventually I get fed up and don't call and don't hear from them again. Not my loss.
Friendships change and there can come a time when you need to let it go. I stopped seeing my oldest friends, known about 20 years, last year because we ceased to have anything in common any more. They were into Pod casting and D&D and that's just not my bag. I still send 'em an email once in a while, but see little point in seeing people that I can no longer hold a conversation with.
2007-07-09 23:53:01 · answer #2 · answered by Blondie Bear 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have had the same problem where I feel I have become more of a babysitter than a friend. I have just used my boyfriend as an excuse nowadays. All I do is say we spending quality time together and that I brought work home and am very busy. Everybody needs a little time now and again. Switch your phone off too.
2007-07-10 02:05:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A good friendship takes work, but should not take over. I think you should maybe make an effort as you might regret it in the future. Maybe she is having a hard time at the mo,but doesn't want to say it outright and is just wanting to know you are there. Why not set aside one or two girly nights a week and let her know that those hours are dedicated just to you and her. Maybe that will help things get back to how they used to be?
2007-07-09 23:40:49 · answer #4 · answered by Liggy Lee 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
trouble is you girlies are slightly different from us blokes
girls seem to chat or see each other every day, day-in, day-out
blokes friendships can last without seeing / chatting to each other for weeks on end
because of the work my friends and i do, our circle makes an effort to meet twice a year for a whole weekend. we e-mail & text now & again, but we dont need the constant contact
but saying that if any of us got in a fix, the rest of us would do anything to help, and i mean anything
2007-07-10 00:14:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give your friendship a rest. Many long term relationships
take a breather, and yes that person can be considered
one of your closest and dearest friends, from a distance.
Make a new regular friend, or concentrate on your boyfriend!
(You have grown past the relationship you had with her,
enjoy your life, and if you feel relieved, you most likely
were stressed with the relationship anyway!)
2007-07-10 00:05:01 · answer #6 · answered by V B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No.All you need to be a good friend is honesty,trust, and to care for eachother.Somegood friends dont see eachother from one year to the next but it doesnt mean that there not great friends!Did you explain to her that she was bacoming so demanding?At the end of the day its up to you who you choose as your friends.If your boyfriend likes her sooo much tell him to be her friend and see if he can cope! lol !If she really is your good friend she'll come back and make up with you if she doesnt then she probably was never as a good friend as she made out to be.If your really upset wich luckily you dont seem go to her but if i was you i would gie her chance to lay back.Fate will tell just relax and let her come to you! xoxoxox
2007-07-10 06:41:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
some of my friends i don't see for weeks at a time and still consider them close to me and i know how you feel, i have a friend that is so needy and texts me constantly, when i don't reply i get bombarded with more asking whats wrong?what have i done...its so annoying and she is so paranoid but i don't think id just drop her..sometimes i appreciate her company....maybe explain how you feel about her being hard work in a nice way
2007-07-09 23:45:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
a text or ring per day doesn't make you a good friend...it actually depends on how she treats you. but if you leave her, you'll hurt her feelings...you can be close friends if you want to. the decicsion is in your hands. But if you think that she doesn't desrve to be your friend, don't leave her alone. probably she just needs a little push to change her ways. trust me, i've experiences...
2007-07-09 23:45:17 · answer #9 · answered by *koLaSA* 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to be their all the time to be a good friend, just when it matters or now and again. It's a friendship after all, not a marriage.
2007-07-09 23:41:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋