How to draw a line in being open to our spouse and to what degree should we allow our spouse to have? Like if he has secrets of his friend, is it wrong to share with spouse?Is it wrong to allow spouse to know them? If spouse refuse to share, does it mean that spouse does not trust us or hidden agenda?
2007-07-09 17:51:52 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I started to doubt trust when i happen to notice he chatting on a chinese messenger and the min i walk into the room, he minimise the screen & he used a IDD card to chat with a female in China. I manage to dig information from him and he says she was introduce thru his friend.but they is nothing more to the relationship and they are friends only.He is talking to her to expand his network and dig information.After he finally allow me to see history of his chat.He stop me half way.And refused to let me read on as he said it contains his friends'name and I should respect other peoples' privacy.When I tell him I will keep quiet, he refuses to accept it. After I walk out of the room and went back 5 mins later. I told him I want to see the history and he says he has already deleted them for gd.Now he even put password on his mobile so that I am not able to access it. Now my love and trust has started to shaken.Can I trust him?
2007-07-09 18:44:15 · update #1
I tell my husband everything. I dont do it to gossip but if my friend has shared a secret with me, its probably something scandalous and Id want to talk to my husband about it, get advice, ect. My friends know the deal, I wont tell anyone but if my husband cant know, I dont want to know.
I think personal secrets in a marriage are bad. It leads to distrust and a whole mess of issues. Marriage is hard enough without adding to it with secrets.
2007-07-09 17:56:25 · answer #1 · answered by PenguinsWife 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
A person should always respect their friendship and NOT share with a spouse anything they know they shouldn't share.
Spouses share many things, but need not share things that don't concern the two of them. There is no hidden agenda there.
2007-07-09 18:05:00 · answer #2 · answered by sara r 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you promise a friend to not say anything, it is a promise. PERIOD! Your spouse is another person...who is to say they do not spread it to their friends. Yes, spouses are supposed to be best friends, BUT that does not mean one does not have best friends of the same sex etc...
If the spouse does not share, they are honoring their friend's privacy.
2007-07-09 18:00:53 · answer #3 · answered by sweetsouth 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I beleive you should be able to tell your spouse anything. I tell mine everything! Nothing wrong w/ it. I trust him w/ my life, so I can surely trust him w/ a secret!
2007-07-09 18:03:27 · answer #4 · answered by hereigoagain 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I tell my spouse everything and all my friends know that as well. they also know that it stops with him. if its something way personal that he could live with out like her period or something really not necessary, leave it out. but thats what keeps your mind healthy, being able to talk about it.
2007-07-09 18:00:29 · answer #5 · answered by jessica g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly what you are talking about, but my husband ended up telling me, he was hesitant because I knew the "party" that it was about and the betrayal was towards that person. And we are around them often, and I am a jokester so he thought I might let something slip, but I reassured him that with something so delicate I know how to handle it.
2007-07-09 18:01:59 · answer #6 · answered by Vegas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt care If my hubby was keeping secrets for his friends. If someone tells him something in confidence, then I dont want him running to me telling me about it. His friends should be able to trust him with their "skeletons" just like I should be able to trust him with mine. :)
2007-07-09 18:02:43 · answer #7 · answered by undone 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
there should be no secrets between your spouse and you...however, if your talking about the past...the past should stay in the past unless it will effect your future together.
2007-07-09 18:14:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your spouse should be your best friend therefore, the one you tell all your gossip to. thats why when you get married you are suppose to trust them.
2007-07-09 17:56:06 · answer #9 · answered by just me 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the more you keep a secret, the faster you will be in divorce court
2007-07-09 18:23:50 · answer #10 · answered by big country 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋