Ok here's the scoop my wife of 3 yr's has a dairy and she writes about everything. So about a month ago she was in a bad mood. I asked her what was going on, she said everything was fine. But I could tell there was something going on. So I read a couple pages in the dairy and found out 2 things. 1 she has a text buddy who she says when the text the thing he says lights up her world no matter what mode shes in he brings a smile to her face. 2 she says she has a fatal attraction happen to her. Where she recieves calls in the middle of the night with someone proclaim his love for her and the whole nine. So I comfronted her on my findings know its been almost 2 months and we have not had any kind of intimate contact (kissing hugging etc.). Now who should be madder her or me?
2007-07-09 17:40:26 · 17 answers · asked by Raqi Killer 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all be careful what you ask for....In short you asked for this by reading her PERSONAL dairy. You owe her an apology for that and try to never do it again.
Secondly, the damage is done and everything happens for a reason. You found out that there is someone else in her life and instead of continuing to be mad you need to get over it and start working on correcting your marriage.
It is a reason why she had to turn to her "text buddy". There is something missing. She isn't getting it at home. That doesn't make it right but the fact remains that something is wrong.
My suggestion is don't let another moment go by with out talking and working toward resolving the issues. Hug her, kiss her, and then sit down and talk about it with her. Work on your marriage. Don't be angry and point fingers. That will not help.
I wish you luck.
2007-07-09 18:01:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well , I can see both sides . I would be very upset too if my partner was turning to other person for support especially a complete stranger but on the other hand I would be upset if my partner went thru my private belongings and read my private thoughts . Sometimes its better to vent to a diary and say things than hurt one another , as we often hurt the one we love the most ... Sorry i know that probably not much help but i think the best thing would be is to talk it out and spend some quality time together
2007-07-10 00:46:55 · answer #2 · answered by Kim M 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you should be mad at yourself for looking and reading her diary. Now by doing this you have not had any loving. 2 reasons to kick your own rear. For the wife, she should kick herself a few times too. One, leaving her diary where you would find it and read. 2 for having another light up her light. 3 for having a stalker. Lets add it up. You were unfaithful to her privacy and she was unfaithful to your marriage. She looses by 1. So now you can stay mad and continue to live without intimacy or tell her your sorry and she best make up her mind if she wants to save your marriage. No more texting and picking up stalkers. NOW it's time for make up intimacy. You should be the only guy lighting up her world. Good Luck. I do hope she says she sorry for caring on with other guys.
2007-07-10 01:30:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Both of you. Her for semi-cheating and you for snooping in her diary. You both need to have a heart-to-heart talk and soon! Things will just go downhill for you both if you don't open up to communication. Maybe you could find out the reason why she felt she had to communicate with someone else online. Also, how did this "fatal attraction" person get your number? You could live in a small town, I don't know. You guys should really talk without being angry.
Good luck.
2007-07-10 00:47:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If i am her...
I be super angry that my husband don't trust me and read my personal diary.
If i am him...
I be angry to find out that my wife is so called "cheating" on me and in the same time sad that im not longer the one who cheer her up.
From my point of view:
I think that your wife cant find any sweetness from you that's why she is tempted when someone out there is sweet to her. I think now is not the time to ask who should be madder but to resolve the problem. When is your last time buying her flowers? Cant remember? Hmm... maybe you wanna get her flowers and apologise to her that you read her diary and work things out.
2007-07-10 03:26:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm afraid you did something that she might have a long time getting over. I keep a journal myself but my hubby respects my privacy and never reads it even if I leave it out on our night stand. Having someone else, even if they love you, read your very private and personal thoughts is kind of like a mental rape. i know that you are concerned about what is happening in her life but I believe you went down the wrong road in reading her journal or diary. You made any issues that you have bigger than they should be by doing that. Good luck. Hope things work out for you.
2007-07-10 00:49:05 · answer #6 · answered by Praire Crone 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I agree with you. This is not a twelve year old keeping a diary. It is a grown woman keeping secrets and deceiving her husband. I suppose her texting is personal and off limits also. Do not let her manipulate you and try to make you feel guilty. She's the one at fault here. Period. Either seek counseling or leave before it gets worse. That is my opinion.
2007-07-10 01:01:11 · answer #7 · answered by Max 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You.... there is obviously a reason that she cannot be trusted, therefore you have every right to read her sh.it......
She is married and texting another man, having other men calling her proclaiming their love for her... she is having an emotional affair....
i understand why she would be upset, but it would be COMPLETELY different if you invaded her privacy and found NOTHING at all.....
Good luck, man... sounds like you need to re-think your marriage and if you really want to be with someone like that..
2007-07-10 00:47:39 · answer #8 · answered by boomquisha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im trying to imagine firstly, how did she come to have an attraction to another man .....what was the problem in your relationship? no, Im not saying it is right and while people are married, they shouldnt be conversing with single people or strangers on the internet. otherwise, they dont work out the problems in the marriage. take a step back....read her diary prior to this text buddy and maybe she wrote notes on troubles between you and your marriage. no sense in going to the after problems if you dont go and work on the original problem. like anything....you must go to the start and work your way through all things. good luck dear
2007-07-10 00:47:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
you should have found out some facts before you confronted her you blew it now you look like the bad person. and on top of that it seems that those things are true so i would say at this point it doesn't matter who should be madder your relationship is over she has found someone else so you should be packing either her cloths or yours.
2007-07-10 01:42:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋