help me plz. sum1 help me...?

Question

ok. My dad got remmaried like two years ago. and i gained a step sister 9 years younger then me. I live with my mom most of the time. but anyways i found out my step-mom is trying to change susanne (my step sis) last name to mine. and i don't want her to have my last name. it is the only thing left the me and my dad only have. what do i say? this?:

"i don't want susanne 2 have price for her last name. i would be okay with scarberry-price but not price. sure her dad might not be in her life but ur my dad. and i am NOT okay with her being a price. i accepted bro becuz he was there before me and he actually is a blood relative. but susanne has her own dad there are not. i want to be your only little girl, bcuz i am ur only little girl. she can call my dad, dad, but that is it. dad, i hope u actually hear my story unlike when u were first getting married, u ignored me. when susanne took MY room, u ignored me. but i could deal with thoughs, BUT NOT THIS ONE! at least hear me"

1. they are common names that being the only reason i put it on here.
2. he is not adopting her...i hope not.
3. it might not only be our name but it means alot to me. it keeps me okay with the whole marraige and 9 year young step sis. it reminds me she still isn't really in the family. allows me to have my fantsy of being his only little girl.

4. u try holding on to when u had ur dad all to ur self. trying to hold sumthing that means so much to you. sumthing that pretty much goes down the tolliet when u see ur dad putting sum1 else duaghter to sleep say i luv u to her every time and not even saying i luv u at the end of a conversation on the phone! this last name is the only thing she does not have!

my borther is actually my cousin. his aunt dyed of breast cancer be4 i was born. i love him as a brother so i really didn't accept him i did that rite off the bat. heck i didn't even know about his mom till i was 11. and still i call him brother.

i don't blame the marraige thing on her. she can whatever she wants but i really love my dad and i want just one thing to stay the same. me being his only little girl with his last name. i don't care is the step mom has the last name. so does my mom, but i....just can't do this right now. can my dad at least have it carberry-price and mybe when i am older and can deal with it change it to price or something. ...its like she has been working on chaning it for 8 months i just learn about this now....its like all i am here is a guest. not a daughter. just sum1 stopping buy for coffee or somthing.

ppl! i'm not selfish. i havn't been selfish since i was 5 and my parents divorced.i had my momemts but i got over them..had to cuz no1 listened.
anyways. i 'm not as upset as when i 1st wrote this. crying helped. its actually really more then just the last name thing. its that susanne is turning 6 & she is a major brat. she refuses to clean up her room even when her mom or my dad tells her to. and they don't even disaplin her. so i have to. otherwise she will be most likely a slut and out of controll when she is older. i just want her damn mother to disaplin her and be more of a mom then a weak giver-uper. same w/my dad. i remember him disapling me & my brother(cousin). he wooped or butts. i'm so sick of it. that is why i don't want her to have my name prob. idk.i just think they should of asked me. i really hate coming here. cuz i don't feel apart of the family or like a daughter & i always cry here. stupid divorce agreement. w/e. maybe she should get everything & bcome a slut. IDK

oh my gosh this is so long. anyways. susanne woke up and we were talking and i told her how my dad wasn't her real dad and stuff and the name change. she said she didn't want to cuz she likes the name scarrberry so we r going to talk to her mom later.
ok i admit she not a brat all the time but when she is she is and i get annoyed...so we are sort of a like and hate kinda thing...idk..lol

Answer 1

Sorry to break it to you, but it is not your choice. There may be a lot of issues as to why your step mom doesn't want your step sister to keep the old last name. After all, she is no longer married to the father of your step sister, and there must be some reasons that led to them breaking up. (Have you asked them what their reasons are for wanting the name change? How does your step sister feel? It's HER NAME that is changing!)

Your choice is to either accept that there are some changes in your family and that these people are now part of it, or to live in denial and try to hold on to the past. Your dad will always love you! Sharing your last name doesn't mean that he is going to start loving you less. However, by throwing a tantrum about your step sister's name being changed -- especially one that lasts for months -- will only drive a wedge between you and your dad and the rest of the family.

Sorry I can't just agree with you, but I hope that I gave you some food for thought. I hope it helps!

Answer 2

Divorces are hard on children. it's also hard on Susanne. Have you asked her how she feels about loosing HER dad's name and getting another man's name? She has feelings too about this stuation. You must be at least 18 years old. as hard as it is, you could make Susanne feel more comfortable. If your dad tucks her in and tries to make her feel like she is part of the family, then you should be proud of him. I hope you get to the point where you feel more secure, and can help the little girl adjust. you could be a wonderful big sister to her. Don't be jealous of her. Maybe you and your dad can have special times together, just the two of you. tell him you would like to do things with him so you can have some quality time by yourselves. YOu know, this is a change for your dad, too, not just for you. There are more people in the house that he has to take care of, and HE might need some understanding and love from YOU!!!!! You need to be a giver and not a taker.

Answer 3

She's not taking your place in your dad's life even if it does feel that way. You are always his girl and no one can take that away. Along with being his girl you're now a big sister and you need to be setting an example for your little sister. She's a little kid and maybe hasn't been lucky enough to have the love you've known all your life. Welcome her and maybe even help her along with learning to keep her room a little neater ;). You'll be making memories that you and she will cherish in years to come.

There's an old saying:"A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet." That means that names don't define people. You're still your dad's little girl, OK, big girl :) and that won't ever change.

What about when you get married? Would you change your name? Would that name make you someone different? Nope. You're still a daughter, a stepdaughter, and a sister. Names don't change things. Attitudes do.

Answer 4

Oh my gosh, I've been in a situation that made me frustrated with my Dad too. My 45 year old Dad got an immature 24 year old pregnant. Now he has a 4 month old, and 2 more people are added to our life. I've had to make sacrifices and watch the baby all night when they go out drinking (often). It really makes me mad because we were financially stable and happy until this came into our lives, now everything's chaotic and my poor Daddy is broke as hell. I've never had an empty fridge before and I don't like it! :(

Definitely talk to your Dad about this. I know how you feel. It's only a name, but it's VERY important to you. Why should that girl have your last name? You're completely right, she has her own dad who she got her last name from, and that's how it should be left. If I put myself in your position I get frustrated just thinking about it! Argh!

Make sure to tell your dad all of this that you're telling us. Tell him how hard it is already to watch him say "I love you" to a child that isn't his own when you are. You bear with that, so you shouldn't have to be put through this.

If your dad isn't completely heartless, I think that he'll understand and hear you out on this one.

Good luck, I hope everything works out!! Best wishes!!! ♥

EDIT: People, don't be rude. You must not know how this feels if you're that mean to the poor girl.

Answer 5

Okay first off you never mention names on the Internet, its for safety reasons, if you don't know way to keep you and those around you safe while on the Internet, then you don't belong here. I really hope those aren't the real names of this child.

If you dad adopts this younger sister then she is legally his daughter, just as any adopted child would be and deserves his last name.

I am sure you and your father have other things in common that bond you. Besides, Price is a fairly common last name. You aren't the last two on the planet.

Answer 6

Tell your dad how you feel first off. I don't know if the step mom can legally change her last name without permission from the girls father.
If the girl is very young, say 2 -4 yrs old, it may be to her benefit psychologically when she goes school to have the same last name as her mother AND step dad.
An older child who is accustom to their last name may not welcome a change. Just things for you to consider.
But most important, speak to your father and remember, even if she ends up with your last name, you have your fathers genes and traits, she has none of the genetic make up you share with your father.

Answer 7

Does your mom have a good relationship with your dad that she can talk to him for you? I hope so. If your father is not listening to your feelings, than the last name issue shouldn't mater because he is only after his new wives interest and not yours. Try to convince your sister that she is unique in having her own fathers last name, because no matter what she is part of who ever her dad is and that is personal. They can probably hyphen her last name. Either way, take care of yourself and don't let this consume YOU. You are his REAL biological daughter.....you are the one that resembles him in physical or other characteristics. Just you be happy to have a family that loves you, your mom, dad. Talk to your step mom also about how you feel. If she doesn't understand your feelings, than she is a real b*****.

Answer 8

It's not the little girls fault your dad married her mom. It's really not that big of a deal for her to take the same last name. It sounds like you are really hurting over the fact that your dad remarried. It's really tough on kids. Hang in there and be a great big sister. Try to get some time alone with your dad..movies, hike etc...it will help a lot.

Answer 9

I don't think you are selfish.I think you are a child of divorce. Let me tell you something doll face, it ain't easy even when you are all grown up. Your daddy wants this girl to have his last name because he is a MAN.This girl has no father, just a sperm donor. Your daddy thinks you're "OK" cause you've always had him, but this girl has had NO father til him. He's NOT outing you. If he's willing to give this girl his last name, I'll bet he'll listen to your problems with it.
This girl is 9 years younger than you. You are her Big Sister, like it or not. In her head, that's what you are. If you say,"I don't want you to have my dad's last name" she's gonna say "I don't want the last name". If you say,"I like poop", she's gonna say, "I like poop, too".
You are and will always be your dad's biological daughter. You are and will always be his 'little girl'. She'll never have that with him. Hell, she'll never have it with any father.
The world moves fast, people move fast. Your daddy loves you special. He KNOWS you are his.
This step child of his needs you. She needs her big sis. She's been forgotten about by her sperm donor and I mean REALLY forgotten about.
One day your parents will be gone. But the relationships with your siblings and/or step siblings will last your whole life time.
Make them GOOD relationships!
Good luck to you,
D

Answer 10

I am so sorry you are having such a hard time. It is tough when parents add so much chaos to their children's lives. I think you need to let this go though. Whether or not susanne has the same last name as your dad doesn't change the relationship you have with him.