My In-laws never appreciate what my parents do for the grand kids? I hate this part. My mom goes out of her way to help me out and on couple of occasions I did mention it to my In Laws and they pretended as if they didn't even listen. I am not happy with this at all. What should I do?
2007-07-09 17:12:37 · 15 answers · asked by c 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Also how should I deal with my In Laws. My mother in law was not there for me when I need her after my baby was born. She promised lot of things but never did any. It really bothers me and I am having a hrad time letting go of things. On the other hand three years I was always there for her. Helped her alot around the house and bought her really nice gifts on Mothers day , birthdays , anniversaries etc.
2007-07-09 17:38:28 · update #1
Let them be, you should thanks God that they are not pestering you, some in laws really do come into your marriage life and mess up the whole thing, do you want that to be appreciated?
What your mother did was for the love of her grandchildrens, what you did for your in laws is for the respect and love of elderly. Since everyone is stable and happy, what do you want to deal further?
Sometime you are living in paradise but yet you ask for hell, look around you, aren't you happy with what you have, treasure and cherish it, be more contentious, life will get better ya.
2007-07-09 18:26:51 · answer #1 · answered by butterfly 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Typical. Concider yourself lucky. Neither my mom or my in laws have ever spent much time with our kids and that is like slapping me in the face. My mom will occasionally cal and invite them over for a week. She is a busy woman. Remarried after my dad died. My mom in law just sits on her but. She baby sits for her nephew as he has 2 girls and they are all she talks about.
Sorry for the details.
The best thing to do is talk about what they ( your in Laws have done and howmuch you appreciate that) I guess it is an age old thing. We learned a long time ago not to discuss our in laws in front of our parents.
2007-07-10 00:51:43 · answer #2 · answered by srb72625 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you making this his parents vs. my parents? You can't change people; accept them for who they are. You can't force your in-laws to do something they don't want to do or are incapable of doing.
You're lucky that your mother is so involved in your kids' lives; be grateful for that and don't obsess on the perceived shortcomings of your in-laws.
Also, the fact that you compare your mom in front of the in-laws isn't cool. And you wonder why they're not warmer to you? Put yourself in their shoes; if someone were to say how awesome someone else is and infer that you're less, you probably wouldn't be thrilled with them.
2007-07-10 00:25:55 · answer #3 · answered by JC 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you telling your in-laws what your mom and dad do for you and your kids? Are you trying to rub their noses in it, make them feel bad or and piss em off? If you want to be more effective, then you'll need to complement your parents directly when they do good things for you and stop bragging about it to anyone else including your hubby or his parents. If you complement your hubby's parents for the things they do, regardless of how small you think it is, then they will respond much better toward you. No one likes to be made to feel inferior.
2007-07-10 00:27:22 · answer #4 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they have no need to be appreciative of what your parents do for your kids.....but first thing that leaps to mind is ARE you telling them so that they will do more for your kids...........sort of guilt tripping them into doing more.........if so you are rubbing them the wrong way and I would ignore it as well.
if they comment on a dress or a toy or whatever and you parents did it bought it then you just say oh thanks my mum did that, bought that etc..................
and to be honest hum in laws are just a pain in the butt, so long as your husband loves you don't sweat the small stuff
REGARDS
EDIT the MIL might have done a lot of stuff in the past to you and you have done a lot of stuff FOR them but life is not a contest.......I have had to learn that my MIL just does not like me period does not matter how hard I try or whatever she is NEVER going to like me.................we have now reached a point of where we are civil to each other and that's it...........you can NOT make them be what you want them to be period end.
and to be honest why on earth should your MIL have been there for when your baby arrived and done stuff for you..had you have been a single parent then there would have been little to no help coming from anyone.so be pleasant and nice to them and leave it go.................it is THEIR loss not yours.
2007-07-10 00:24:14 · answer #5 · answered by candy g 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like maybe there jelous, maybe they feel they don't do enough like your parents to or maybe you mention your parents and not what they do for them as well....communication is the key to make a relationship work and you don't want your relationship with your inlaws ruined over something like this, so set them down and talk to them, something like, i'd like you to no that i appreciate all you do for our kids and i sometimes tell you what my mom and dad do, does that bother you?...and i'm sure they'll open up and let you no what's on there mind, just talk to them.
2007-07-10 00:24:02 · answer #6 · answered by Nita and Michael 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is why I tell all women to marry an orphan. My MIL makes the WICKED WITCH look like MARY POPPINS. A more evil hateful woman I hope never to meet. You could talk to your husband and have him have a chat with his parents. But you're here discussing this so obviously he does'nt care either.
2007-07-10 01:08:00 · answer #7 · answered by chaoskid 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a contest of who's parents can do more for your kids. Leave both sides to decide WHAT they do and WHEN.
Perhaps the kids need to show some appreciation for both sets of grandparents, and leave it at that.
2007-07-10 00:29:26 · answer #8 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do even tell your in laws? What your parents do for your children is not their concern. If they do not do as much as your parents, that is just the way it is. Let it go and don't tell them anymore.
2007-07-10 00:19:47 · answer #9 · answered by Lee B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do you keep bringing up to the inlaws what your parents are doing for your kids? Sounds like you are bragging and wanting them to compete. Keep your mouth shut, they don't want to hear it.
2007-07-10 00:22:37 · answer #10 · answered by lily 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋