I have been dating a man going thru the tailend of his divorce. I am not the reason fo rthe divorce-btw. It has been 3 months of casual dating and we agreed together that he was not ready for a committment, but that we really enjoy each others company and would like to hang out when he has the time. He works 7days on & 7 days off. On his 7 days off, he has his son full time for the summer. Also, he just got word 3 weeks ago that his hearing has been postponed, per his lawyer trying to commit suicide. His Ex is just a nightmare and taking as much money from him in the meantime. I have started to progress in my feelings for him and he has gone into a depression. So I don't hear from him in days, but when I do, it is so nice to talk. But I think I want more now & I know he can't.
I have decided to step back from him. I want to see him once he is thru the divorce, but for now, I need more & I don't want to add to his stress. How do I break up a non-committment & let him know I care?
2007-07-09 16:38:10 · 9 answers · asked by Mitch 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just be there for him to talk to, and give him space when he needs it. Put your feelings on hold until things settle down and see how things go from there. Going through a divorce is very stressful, be patient.
2007-07-09 16:49:28 · answer #1 · answered by sara r 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life will throw us curve balls. If you do care for him as you say then you will continue to let him know "you are there for him". Be as supportive as you can. He is going to deal with some hard times. You can still be the friend you have always been, he needs that most right now. Support him and do not judge. Don't put your life on hold but don't ditch the chance that at some point it could be more. He may not know how to show it at this time but you could be a major part of his life. Step back with grace and be prepared to embrace. He will find his way to you. Good luck and know that sometimes life is not always easy for all of us. You giving up on him will add stress, if you care , take your time. The best is worth the wait. Best of luck!!!!!
2007-07-10 00:00:25 · answer #2 · answered by Hollli 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just tell him. The first person one dates out of a marriage is called "the bridge" and that rarely results in a relationship that lasts very long... You two are in different books, on different pages... You now want to find someone, and he for sure isn't there.... Tell him, "Joe, you are one super guy, and the lady who ends up with you will have a treasure... And (dont say 'but') I am in a different place now, and I wish to seek a permanent partner....and I can't do that if we are each filling up the other's free time.... keep in touch?".
2007-07-09 23:47:27 · answer #3 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would just be honest with him and let him know that you do
care for him but maybe until things are straight out in the
out come of the divorce that we need to take some time. but
be there for him dont just go cold turkey. he may need
a friend if another else down the road.
2007-07-09 23:48:46 · answer #4 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you start seeing a man who is still married...with a divorce on hold...you are asking for trouble. His wife isn't his EX yet. Tell him you need to wait until he's free to see you so you'll both have less problems in your lives!
2007-07-09 23:48:01 · answer #5 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
doesn't sound like you want to break it off you just want to step back a foot or two.
leave things lay and see what happens. simply do not be available all the time.
2007-07-09 23:46:46 · answer #6 · answered by KRIS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try writing a letter explaining the way you feel, sometimes it's easier to express your feelings on paper
2007-07-10 02:30:22 · answer #7 · answered by mar52c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just go off the radar a little bit, pull back.
don't avoid him, but don't be over "there for him" to compensate for feeling bad about it.
2007-07-09 23:42:46 · answer #8 · answered by Kaja 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find him a new girl friend
2007-07-09 23:48:48 · answer #9 · answered by kiss4u 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋