Is This Poem Good?

Question

Letting Go

Don’t look at me with those captivating eyes
Don’t give me that flawless smile.

Why do you insist on bringing me back?
When you’re the one telling me to let go.

So when I don’t look back into those eyes
And, when my smile isn’t directed to you
That’s me letting go.

Answer 1

Could the writer point to something that makes this a poem?

Of course, some will say poetry can be anything. They also think banging on a piano is music.

Answer 2

It's a good start...but I'm afraid it is a bit weak as a poem. Your "poem" doesn't have to rhyme, and those who think rhyming is "for suckers" should try reciting poety that doesn't rhyme (good luck with that one). The bottom line is that rhyming without making it sound like a rhyme is very, very difficult to do well. Free verse is much easier, but for it to have any real effect it has to also be done very well. What you have written could have been a letter... which makes it difficult to see as a poem.
For example: "my dog barks all night. Your dog doesn't bark at all. You live in a big house, I live in a small...so there. " has more poetic quality to it than your prose. However, with a little work, your "poem" could have been a good poem. One technique you could have used would have been a turn at the end...which it looks like you tried to do with "That's me letting go". You "might" have pulled it off if you'd inserted a line break and ellipses so it looked like this:

And, when my smile isn't directed to you...

That's "me" letting go.

It would have still be a little weak, but it would have been more "poetic".

Answer 3

I genreally prefer poems with some type of rhyme scheme, but this poem felt very personal, and real so I really enjoyed it.

You could be really good at poetry. look into rhyme schemes (iambic pentameter) and the use of Metaphors for a start. You don't have t go for this typical scheme..but if poetry is whaat you love it's good to have some background on technique.

Answer 4

...And if you would like some background on technique please do not ask "greyrainbow", because iambic pentameter has nothing to do with rhyme! See the last five letters of that word pentameter, they refer to meter, yeeeeeeesss and meter indicates emphasis, uh huh, yes it doooooesss, okaaay? Nonetheless, I agree that you might profit from reading and learning some technique. By the by, rhyming is for suckers, so transcend it if you please.

Answer 5

Pretty good. You could make it longer and then have it be a song. But thats just my opinion as a song writer, so do what you want but anyways it is good.

Answer 6

I like it and I understand what you're trying to say. Contrary to popular belief, you don't have to rhyme to create a poem.

Answer 7

4 words, : Great poem,
Keep Writting!

Answer 8

This is really good`. I love it just keep them coming.