Need an honest opinion?

Question

I'm 12 weeks and a few days pregnant with my second child. I already have a 2 & 1/2 year old boy. I want a girl so I am able to experience having both, but my husband really wants our son to have a brother. I've been thinking very hard, and I've decided that if I have another boy I'm going to get my tubes tied. I don't think I could handle having two boys, along with my husband who is like a child, and then trying for a girl to only get another boy. What do you guys think about the whole situation? Please, no rude comments. Thanks.

My husband is behind me 100% in whatever I want to do. The reason I am thinking about it is because right now we aren't really in the financial state to have more than two children. Don't get me wrong, I'll love whatever I end up with just as much as I love my son and my husband. I'm just thinking that having only two kids will be a great balance for us as a family.

In reading some of your responses, it sounds like you are thinking I want to terminate that pregnancy. THAT IS NOT WHAT I AM ASKING ABOUT!!!! I am excited about this pregnancy and am in NO WAY even contemplating terminating it!!!!!

Answer 1

I don't think getting your tubes tied is a good idea. Just for the fact that one day you may be in a better finacial situation and you might want to have another. I would get a IUD that way you have protection for five years and decide after that what you want to do.

Answer 2

I can understand you wanting a girl, I was the same way. My husband already has a son from a previous relationship, and I wanted a girl. But, he was hoping and praying for a boy, and he got his wish. :P But I am still as excited as ever and I know that I will love this boy as much as if he were a girl (which I'm sure you feel the same way). Even though you might feel disappointed if you find out it's a boy, I would wait until you are very sure you don't want to give it one last shot, because it's a serious and permanent operation. With things like this it really is just a roll of the dice, you get what you get. All I can say is hope and pray, and if it does end up being a boy just talk with your husband and for now embrace the life that you have growing. :D Good luck!

Answer 3

I have a 4 yr old boy who was a tee total hellion at your son's age . He is a breeze now. I am 38 wks pregnant with my second son and I just flat out do not want anymore children at all. I was happy with just the one.I am having a tubal immediately after delivery. I think boys are a handful, they are rough and tumble little daredevils and noone can understand unless they have boys. But, boys also love, love , love their moms, are so easy to buy for, get dressed, fix their hair,etc. I had kind of wanted a girl, but now , I am really happy that I will have 2 boys, but I DEFINATELY DO NOT WANT ANY OTHER KIDS!!!! It is up to you. You could always wait until your more recent baby is a little older if he is a boy. You may think it's a snap to have 2 boys, they may entertain each other and keep each other company really well. It may be so easy you start longing for a little sister for them. I just would hate for you to make a decision when you are pregnant, tired from chasing your 2 1/2 yr old, nauseated, swollen and all the other things that go with pregnancy when it seems like right now you aren't 100% sure.

Answer 4

I didn't think I could handle 3 kids but I am. I would hold off on getting your tubes tied, it's permanent. I got an IUD so I have the option if I decide to have another child. Your emotions are running very high right now, so just enjoy the pregnancy and the new baby, and try the IUD. No side effects that I've experienced, and basically no chance of unplanned pregnancy. Good Luck.

Answer 5

Okay honestly, here's what I think. First, I totally understand what you are saying and get the dilemma here. However, having your tubes tied is so final. I would hate for you to do that and then have your circumstances change somehow and now you're trying to get pregnant again. The future is so uncertain, I wouldn't take a drastic step like that.

Do a search on here Yahoo Answers of women who are trying to get tubal reversals. Many of them made the decision years before, things have changed, and now they're desperately trying to become fertile again. It's sad.

All I'm asking is for you to really think about it. While I understand your situation, I think you're taking a drastic step. The other thing is, this decision requires 2 people... you and hubby. What does he think?

One last thought... your current pregnancy could be a girl. And if you try again, you may have another girl! You never know what nature is going to do.

Good luck.

Answer 6

I got 2 kids a girl and a boy. when i was pregnant w/ my second child (which turned out to be a boy) me and my husband said that if this second baby didn't turn out to be a boy we would try a 3rd time for a boy. If the 3rd child didn't turn out to be a boy we would stop there. But fortunately the second one was a boy and now we got a "set" Girl and a boy. After we found out i was carrying a boy me and my husband decided that that is enough. Our limit was 3 but since we have a boy and a girl we are done. So if i was you if this second baby doesn't turn out to be a girl like you hope i would try a 3rd time for a girl but i would stop at 3. So that's my story and my advice to you :)

Answer 7

Having brother means they can grow up as great mates (in theory). A pigeon pair is obviously ideal for alot of people but I think there are advantages to having 2 of the same gender.
Make sure you and hubby make the decision together to have your tubes tied. You may feel after another boy that you would like to try one more time for a girl.

Answer 8

I know what you mean I have one girl and my husband wants a boy but I find that our 3 yr old is a handful and I am scared to have another child because I am still tired from one I am only 25 I think If you want 1,2,3 or 4 children have them you are the one doing all the work If you want 2 keep it that way it is your life,money and time do what you want . oh and have fun my parents say if you don't enjoy it don't do it.

Answer 9

Well, my boyfriend's father had 3 boys then 2 girls then another boy. So you never know you could end up with 3 boys if you try for a third or you might just be lucky and get that girl. Don't limit yourself but also don't over do it. The best of luck!

Answer 10

I had my first, when she was almost 4 I had my second daughter. My husband wanted a boy. He wanted to "Keep trying till we get a boy." Well personally, I had had enough. I got my tubes tied and told him if we had the money to afford having them untied at some point, we could have another. Otherwise, no more for me.