most answers people give are-DIVORCE-DIVORCE- even when it is a minor problem that can easily be worked through. Why is there so much intolerance and impatience when it comes to the vows. Breaking up a family isn't a big deal anymore. Are we chasing a picture perfect hollywood movie or soul mate?
2007-07-09 13:19:30 · 25 answers · asked by girl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Our generation is centered on instant-gratification. Many believe that the increasing commonality of divorce is the result of a liberation from church domination or social taboo. Most people do not consider that family is the basic building block of society. When the family unit begins to deteriorate, countless other problems emerge, and the effects are endless. When families are strong, so is society. Strong, happy families create strong, happy, secure children.
People have been disillusioned by the wedding-oriented Hollywood fairytale. Many focus on the wedding day rather than the reality of marriage.
I believe that one reason why people are so quick to divorce is because they have not gained the skills needed to solve problems through dating. Additionally, they have not learned to delay sexual gratification. In this manner, choosing a partner is based more on physical attraction and sexual chemistry rather than on shared interests, character, and common values. Sexual attraction will fade with time, but integrity will remain. Couples who use the dating experience to try as many sexual partners as possible do not learn to solve problems with communication, they learn to solve problems with sex. Furthermore, they have not learned the art of self-sacrifice. They haven't learned to be united for a common goal. A couple who chooses to wait until marriage for sex has overcome a goal, together, and they have added a special intimacy to their relationship that others will not have the distinction of having.
Why are people so quick to divorce? Because they have forgotten what marriage is all about.
2007-07-09 13:31:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It appears that relationships have become life the majority of life, disposable. It's very sad that people do not try and work through the difficult times as this is what actually bonds and makes the relationship stronger. I've heard that there are only 3 reasons to break up or end a relationship. They are the 3 R's, Abuse, Adultry and Addicition. But often now-a-days if one partner looks at the other the wrong way it appears that is enough reason to break up. A good friend of mine told me on my wedding day, "it's important for both parties to give 65 percent each. That way during the hard times there is still 30% left over just for love".
2007-07-09 13:28:07 · answer #2 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because marriage isn't taken seriously by anyone anymore. (And don't start blaming gays because this is not their fault. They can't even get married.)
And society says cheating is the ultimate betrayal even if the action does nothing to change the family dynamic. I'm more concerned about someone checking out on the family mentally than if they get a little on the side. (Don't tell my wife that!)
The other thing is that women can now survive on their own. Even if its hard, it's much easier than back in the day when women had to put up with ANYTHING a man did because the woman wouldn't be able to support herself or her children if she left her man. So its easier for women to leave a bad situation.
2007-07-09 13:25:00 · answer #3 · answered by Blade_III 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
people just want to take the easy way out.. I been with my husband for 10 yrs. and we been having problems for a long time and things just seem to be getting worse. He has abandoned me and now he has given me no choice but to divorce him. In some situations you do not have a choice. Marriage is not like the old days when people stayed together no matter what. You will not be hearing people saying that they been with they mate for 40 yrs. 10 yrs is a big deal these days and that is so unfortunate..
2007-07-09 13:31:47 · answer #4 · answered by Vicky 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok I was married for 30 years, I tried to make things work hoping he "would see the light" well he didn't so I filed two years later we are still in divorce court, and now he's dragging his feet on everything, I can go to my grave knowing what I've done was the best that I could do, so I'm happy and sad at the same time, now this Wednesday is another court date, will the book be closed, stay tuned!!!!!
2007-07-09 13:40:24 · answer #5 · answered by kim t 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hie Girl. Well to me it is something stupid of a person doing it because when you have a problem it is better for them to sit and talk about it instead they break off, because when you are married or in a relationship, guys usually be eager towards it and will have the most anger than girls, because guys love to use more physical and they used to hit but as for the girl they love to sit and talk which in my point of view it is something good for them to do so, when a problem arise it should be taken with a open heart and not in a anger mood, but it also must let us to think how are we going to solve it and not in a bad way, because every problem has a solution and when there is a solution there will also be a way to solve it and not just breaking off whereby there won't be any used, when you have solve it then it is good for the person to talk about it and try to find a solution out of it, when the partners have found a solution then from there they can be back in a good realitionship and not only in it they can also leave happily also.So it is better for them to sit and talk about and also try to rectify their mistakes, by rather of them fighting. Try this and hope it might help you....................
ALL THE BEST...................
2007-07-09 13:36:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because we don't believe in staying and working through problems anymore.. My grandfather said, Ah, love is for the young, then you get married and you have a family and that's that.. When I asked Don't you love grandma? He said, she's a good wife and mother.. we work things out.. that's all there is to be said about it.
Most people have this romantic ideal of their future spouse like something from Cinderella and then when they realize it's not what they get.. they move on to screw up all over again..
And, so many people advise you to do that here on answers because it's what they do... not talking about people who have huge problems that can't be worked through - like you just the small things that wreck a marriage.
2007-07-09 13:28:26 · answer #7 · answered by Wildflower 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Chasing a picture perfect movie, lots of things are designed/created to be tossed out when we...
1. No longer want them
2. No longer want to take care of them
3. Want something new
4. Breaks and doesn't work like we think it should
We have become so caught up in this cycle that we include marriage and even normal relationships in this.
There are a few out there who actually try to make things work and are not so quick to dump someone.
2007-07-09 13:24:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Society has made it so easy, for divorce and re-marriage. At one time we used to have group therapy for couples, now we have divorce support groups. When my grandparents where happily married for 50 years, there wasn't as many problem causing factors as there are today. Think about the world now as opposed to the world 40 years, consider the marriage problems of yesterday and the marriage problems of today. Today our marriages have a lot of outside influences.
2007-07-09 13:27:56 · answer #9 · answered by ofsoundmind 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because so many people marry young. Also this is a tough world we live in, its not how it was back in the Beaver days. In modern times things have changed and nobody truely prepares us for it. Money is the leading cause for devorce. Its sad, but actually w/n the last 10 yrs. statistics say that the devorce rate is actually down from 50% to 40%
2007-07-09 13:33:29 · answer #10 · answered by Maalru3 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋