Financial worries at home..help?! :(?

Question

I'm 20 years old and currently live at home with my mom and 17yr old brother. I work a full time job and pay 75 dollars a week to live there(that's the price of a 1 bdrm apartment here. I pitch in on the groceries also, for my share.My brother doesn't have a job, but he still has a year of high school to go..

Before, my mom was just handing me bills to pay, so I decided that I should pay 75 dollars a week, so that I could be on a budget, that way I could have a savings account.
She was more than okay with that and told me that she wouldn't hand me anymore bills. Anyways, she is in a financial mess and has been for a long time. She took bankruptcy one year and we had a house foreclosed on. Now, she's trying to get this house refinanced. Also, the satellite has just been disconnected(no biggie), her car insurance has just been dropped(it's a 2004, so should have full coverage), and she's asking me for a favor this week to pay 179 dollars for the electric bill.

Also, I only have 65 dollars in my savings acct...I just started it 3 weeks ago.. I have a car payment, car insurance, cell phone, internet bill, car gas, and I pay my share on groceries. My job is getting some overtime and I just received a raise...

BUT....we had agreed to 75 dollars a week, for my own good.I can't keep bailing her out...

I need to be able to have my own savings account and some money to my name, for when I do get out on my own.....
:( :/ :(

Also, it's depressing. It's been tough moving so much and losing the first home. Now, I wonder when she'll lose this one and we'll have to move again. It depresses me so much..she says that she's in a hole that she can't get out of...

Before the raise, I only had 20 dollars a week that I could put into savings..that didn't include budgeting for clothing or repairs. I had an older friend that advised the 75 a week. My brother gets a portion of my dad's disability check, which goes to my mom.

She doesn't have a savings account..

Answer 1

You are a young woman with a good head on her shoulders. Your mother needs a good adviser and it can't be you.

Just the fact that your mother has a satellite dish tells me that she doesn't know how to handle money. I don't have a satellite dish. I can't afford one.

If you can do a budget for yourself, can you do one for your mother? Or is it that she has other problems? She might not have had to drop her car insurance, just raise deductibles and some coverage. Does she earn any money?

It won't do any of you any good if you let her drag you down with her. Then your credit will be ruined and you can never help her in the future.

See if you can find a financial counselor for your mother. Some kind of social service organization? Then make yourself useful by helping your brother get through high school so he won't be caught in the same trap your mother is.

Say no to your mother. She shouldn't be asking you to ruin your life. The best of luck to you, I will be thinking about you! You have a good future ahead of you. I'm proud of you.

Answer 2

You have some needless bills as well , but anyway , this is your mother , she has provided for you , and went over ,and beyond the basic needs for you to have a life , correct. You have a choice to make , help her or move out and pay everything on your own , it will be more than 75 dollars per week plus a 179 power bill , can you afford it ? does not sound like it with the bills you have now plus rent , power ,water , food , clothes etc. if you have saved 60 something in three weeks , I doubt you could afford your own place , with just 60 something in the bank , you have no money for deposits or anything else , just besides why do you decide what you will pay if you live with mom.? either pay it or sit in the dark , you really do not have much choice at this point do you , sometimes in life you will have extra or unexpected bills to pop up , get used to it ..other than that I can not suggest anything , what I do not get is here all of you are about to lose the house , and risk being homeless , but yet the you all have cell phones , newer cars , and Internet , not to mention the satellite dish , had you ,and her worked together and done away with those luxuries about a year ago , you ,and your mom would have been able to keep the house , if you really wanted to save money you would not have made the stupidest investment in the world by having car payments plus the finance charges , the extra cost of full coverage on a newer car , here you are paying more anyway for being under 25 , Sounds to me like you ,and your mom need to learn much more of smart money management , and learn the difference between a need ,and a want . If you want to save money quit financing cars to start with .

Answer 3

Unless you are in college you should probably pay more rent. I know it is the same as an apartment but you aren't paying utilities are are probably eating for the same money. I would pay this one bill this one time but then tell your mom you will increase the amount you are paying to $100 a week but you are moving out in the summer of 2008, that will let your brother live rent free until after high school. Even at 17 he should have a summer job and part time school year job and start paying some of his own expenses.
If your mother has enough income to get by once you kids are on your own you only need to get through the next year. If she is foolish with her money you might want to have her read some personal finance books on budgeting and things. If she can't pay the bills and yet had a satelite it may mean she doesn't care about paying bills then there isn't anything you can do to help anyhow so save yourself.

Answer 4

Your mom has provided for the most of your life. It sounds like your dad has left or they were divorced. You get very little money since you are too old for child support.

I agree with the other poster. I think you need to all sit down and say this is how much money we make. What do we do? We can have a phone x dollars, we can pay for the rent x dollars. I think because of what you have been given in your life, which might not be much, you help your family. So you say I want to save x dollars a month. Count it as a bill. But you have to budget together.

The rest goes to the family for the good of the family.

Answer 5

i know that this situation is depressing especially for a person so young, but it seems that you are the only responsible one in the house. what needs to be done is to get control of the finances and set a fixed budget such as
what $$ goes where and when. what you do is calculate what comes into the home each month and what goes out in bills.
cut back on things that you do not really need, cut back on eating out or ordering pizza, i started working when i was 13 years old, and still graduated college as an engineer, so the brother can get a part time job and still get an education and maybe the better for it. this should not rely totally on your shoulders, it is a family thing and everyone should take responsibility.

Answer 6

Sounds like you're trying real hard. But either you need to help your mom learn how to budget, or you have to keep your life and finances separate from hers.

You and your mom should definitely both have a savings account, and put money into every month no matter what. You both need to sit down and work out the household budget - look at what you are actually spending, and see if that is a reasonable percentage of the total income. If you're overspending in an area, it's time to cut back. Your housing costs shouldn't be more than 25-30% of your income, so if the house is more than that, your mom should consider renting for awhile instead.

Also, get down to your local library tonight and start checking out personal finance books - they can be wonderfully empowering and inspiring, and most are written in simple, easy-to-understand terms.
-The Complete Idiot's Guide to Personal Finance in your 20s and 30s
-The Complete Idiot's Guide to Managing Your Money
-“Smart Women Finish Rich” or “The Automatic Millionaire”, by David Bach
-any Suze Orman books

Answer 7

I would have a heart to heart with her and include your brother to get everything out in the open.

Review all the bills, income and expenses so that you know what you need now and what you need in the future.

Basically do you really need satelite tv all this time. The time you spent watching TV could have been focused on making money.

Looks like your mom needs to find a better paying job or find an additional job also

Good Luck!

Answer 8

I know that it is tough to making ends meet. Mom has been there and will always be there for you. I don't think it can hurt to help out a little more. If you are really tired of helping out then the only alternative left to you is to move to a boarding house where you only get room and board and no home cooked meals, also you will have to one to talk to and share your day with. Once you lose the insurance on your car there is no coverage. Think long and hard before you make your choice.

Answer 9

ONLY YOU can answer this question.

Based just on the info given ...here is what I THINK I'd do ...

Have that "heart-to-heart" someone else mentioned, but at the same time let Mom know you are 20 (going on 21) and it is probably time for you to get your own place and make your own life.

Your brother could (should) work part time and start helping financially. 17 is not too early to contribute.

You cannot "live your life" for either your Mother or brother. I do believe in helping loved ones, but I believe you cannot successfully do so without first helping yourself.

I sincerely pray you and family can get through this period of time and that things will then improved for all of you.